


you showed me faith is not blind (miracles happen)

by sunsetcurbed



Series: when you believe [1]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - High School, Anxiety, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Inspired by Princess Diaries, M/M, Modern Royalty, Prince Alex Mercer, Social Anxiety, jatp did not give us enough characters to create elaborate aus with
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 19:27:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 61,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28605222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunsetcurbed/pseuds/sunsetcurbed
Summary: Willie squeezes his hand. "Do you want to talk about what happened today, or do you wanna go watch me crash and fall off my skateboard at the park while I try some gazelle flips?"Alex laughs. "I want to talk.""Okay. Take your time, okay? We've got all the time in the world, yeah?""Two days ago my mom told me my grandmother was in town and wanted to meet with me," Alex starts, not giving himself any more time to think. Willie's thumb traces circles on the back of his hand, comforting him. "I thought, maybe my grandmother wants to connect with her only remaining family. That's how it started out, too. It really seemed like that was her intention. But then she asked about—I can't even remember his full name. But she asked me about the prince of Beasiga. The prince of Beasiga, who was my father." Willie's thumb stops.(*)(or: the willex princess diaries au that no one asked for but I wrote anyways)
Relationships: Alex Mercer & Julie Molina & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters, Alex Mercer/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Flynn & Alex Mercer & Julie Molina & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters & Willie, Julie Molina/Luke Patterson, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: when you believe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2113680
Comments: 376
Kudos: 327





	1. tripping on the now

**Author's Note:**

> So if you're wondering, [here's a post I wrote four days ago](https://sunsetcurbed.tumblr.com/post/639250281062924288/i-have-a-question-princess-diaries-au-with). I started writing the fic the day after that and right now the fic is at 32k. That's averaging over 10k a day of writing. I normally don't post until a fic is 100% complete, but I'm NEARLY complete (about 10k left to go, so by that standard I should finish tomorrow), so I figure if I set a posting schedule for every three days, with chapters that are 3-4k and having 8 chapters already written, I should be absolutely fine. 
> 
> Right off the bat: this story is rated T because they're in high school and swear. That's it. 
> 
> So, here’s the thing! We all (likely, sorry if you don’t) know the plot of Princess Diaries. We all know what happens. This story doesn't follow it exactly, but it also does not deviate too far. This means, there are several points where I’m going to let your imagination fill in the blank. I don’t want to rehash things from the movie, because to me, at least, it’d feel extremely repetitive. There are, of course, the important bits that I NEED to rehash, but filler things? Things that aren’t central to the characters or plot? Either take things from the movie or let your mind go wild! 
> 
> Also, the movie (disclaimer: I’ve never read the books) is not driven by the romantic relationship. It is very much a sub plot. So I found a way to make Willex very much NOT a sub plot and be one of the driving forces of this story since Willex was the entire point of writing this fic if I’m being totally honest. 
> 
> If they high school schedule seems weird, don’t blame me. I literally used my high school’s bell schedule, midterm schedule, and based this off of my high school experience (vaguely). I’ve read other high school au fics over my time in fandom and I’ve questioned them, so I know it can be confusing. I’ve come to realize my high school was one of the more confusing ones, but it’s all I know. 
> 
> UHHHHHHHHH, I'm not sure what else to say right now. 
> 
> Follow me on tumblr, reblog this over there! I'm at [sunsetcurbed](http://sunsetcurbed.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> Fic title from Miracles Happen (When You Believe) by Myra, obviously. Chapter title from Edge of Great by Julie and the Phantoms.

(1)

_1 e and a 2 e and a—_

" _On the edge of great, on the edge of great, on the edge of great_ ," Alex sings into the microphone, listening to the rest of his band around him and hearing the audience of their music class as he performs his midterm with his band. On one hand he's thankful that the four of them only have to perform once for all of their grades instead of four separate performances—less opportunities to mess up. However, on the other hand, he's bummed about it because it means they only get to play in front of their class once rather than four times. Performing music for a live audience is like nothing else—even if it's an audience as simple as a group of thirty high school students. The music their band makes is undeniable, so even while listening to performances is routine in this class, most of the students still end up getting into their music and dancing along.

Alex drums and sings along and watches Julie from behind as she belts out her high note at the beginning of the final chorus. He can't keep the grin off his face as he sees various students dancing in their seats to the song. He makes eye contact with a few and even sends one of them a wink, just as he hits his last cymbal before Julie and Luke go into their duet over the piano. He looks towards his two band mates and friends and smirks at them being just _a little too close_ for a midterm performance, but—glancing at Mrs. Harrison—the teacher doesn't seem to mind, so. The two of them finish and all four of them stand and take a bow, and Alex lets the cheers and clapping wash over him.

"Very impressive," Mrs. Harrison compliments. "Who composed the song?"

"Julie and I wrote the lyrics, all four of us worked on the melody and harmonies, and each of us worked on our individual instrument to compose our piece," Luke answers readily.

"It was very well done," she nods at each of them in turn. "I'm sure you'll be very pleased with your grade. You all may take your seats."

Alex follows behind Reggie to their group of four seats in the back of the music class room, nodding at a few of his class mates as he goes when they offer him praise. When they get back to their seats Mrs. Harrison calls for the classes attention and then next performance goes, and then Flynn goes next, and then music is over for the day.

"We _nailed_ that," Luke bursts as soon as the bell rings to end class.

"Luke, what was that riff at the end of the bridge?" Reggie asks with wide eyes. "It was killer."

"You think so?" Luke asks, bouncing on the balls of his toes. "I didn't mean to improv but it came to me and it sounded so good in my head so I just—"

"Luke," Julie smiles softly, placing a hand on his upper arm, "don't worry. It was _incredible_. You were right to add it in."

Luke looks between the other three band members and bites his lip. "Yeah?"

Alex laughs. "Yeah, buddy."

"Awesome," he grins, swinging his backpack up onto his shoulder and hopping towards the door. "And now—that's three midterms down and only two to go."

Alex groans. "I only have one left."

Reggie frowns. "Why are you more upset about that then Luke is about two?"

Alex sends a _look_ at Reggie. "It's _public speaking_."

"Oh no," Julie murmurs from next to him, reaching up to rub a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You'll be okay. Just imagine you're sitting behind your drums."

"Yeah, that's _never_ worked."

"Imagine you're on stage with us," Luke says from Julie's other side, tossing his arm around Julie's shoulder and leaning in her space so far that he's nearly in Alex's space as well.

"That's also never worked."

They reach the cafeteria then and their conversation falls away as they make their way through the lunch line. Alex grabs only an orange, because if he's going to be giving a speech in the next two hours, he doesn't want to give his stomach much ammunition.

They make their way to the back table of the cafeteria where Flynn, Willie, and two of Willie's skateboarder friends, Greg and Shawn, are waiting for them. Alex can count the amount of words he's said to Greg and Shawn over the past two years on both his hands, but they shared Willie nicely, so that was enough for him.

See, Alex had met Willie in elementary school at recess—it had to be at recess because Willie was a grade above him. Alex remembers Willie doing cool tricks on all the playground equipment—flipping off the benches, pin wheeling on the bars, jumping off the parallel bars—exciting things like that. He'd always had Alex's attention. And then in fourth grade Alex jumped off the swing _really_ far (he'd never admit it was on accident). Obviously this started a jumping contest off the swings and the only one who bested him had been Willie, who came over and introduced himself after the recess aides stopped the competition. At the time, Alex didn't know what he was feeling when Willie smiled at him. He'd been told crushes were for girls, so he didn't realize that _his_ crush was on a boy. Over time he'd learn though, and over time it'd develop.

It wouldn't progress much further though until Willie was in tenth grade and Alex was in ninth, both of them at high school. It was Alex's second week at high school and he lost rock, paper, scissors to Luke and had to go up to the concession stand at the beach to get everyone their hot dogs. On his way back to the group, however, Willie skated right into him. After lengthy apologies, Willie took him back to the concession stand and bought him new hot dogs in apology, plus an extra one, and joined them. That day would cement Alex's helpless crush on Willie which—

Has not gone away now that they're half way through fall term in Alex's junior year of high school.

Ask him how he's doing.

"Hey, hot dog!"

(He's doing _great_.)

"Hey, puka," Alex rolls his eyes back, eying the puka shell necklace around Willie's throat. Willie grins wide at him, bouncing his eyebrows up and down. Alex moves to take his seat next to Willie.

Willie takes a bite of his sandwich and looks at the group. "How'd your music midterm go?"

"So well they _left me there_ ," Flynn huffs from where she's picking her lunch out of her lunch box. "I had to put my trumpet away and by the time I was done they were gone!"

"You know what Luke is like after a performance," Julie apologizes to her friend. "I couldn't keep him still if I tried."

"It's for that reason and _only_ that reason that you're forgiven," Flynn says.

"Our midterm was _amazing_ though," Luke jumps in as soon as Flynn finishes speaking. He looks up to the ceiling and shakes his head. "Man, I wish you were in the music program so you could have seen it—but we'll play it for a gig soon, so I guess you didn't miss _too_ much—"

"We did kill it though," Reggie leans forward, around Alex, to see Willie. "So you can be sad about missing that."

"Consider me sad, then," Willie says. "Flynn, how did you do?"

Flynn answers, and the rest of the table is quiet, giving Alex a moment to let his mind wander. Next period is his public speaking class, and his final midterm. His biology midterm had been yesterday, so after public speaking he's technically free to go—well…

Not actually. He's got an _obligation_ after school today, but. He's not exactly sure how he feels about it.

He doesn't need to think about that now, though, because the rest of lunch passes with various conversations ranging from the start of new songs ("where's my notebook—write that down, write that down!"), cats versus dogs ("you can train cats too, you just don't have enough patience"), and the dance team ("there were kazoos and immediately I knew I was in the wrong"). It's a good distraction from his impending doom of public speaking, but when the bell rings to dismiss them from lunch to class, he realizes that it was just that: a distraction.

He feels his hands clam up, his breathing pick up, and his pulse skyrocket. He can't even force himself to get up from his seat.

"Hey," Julie's voice says from across the table. "We'll be here for you after your speech, yeah? I have a free period after next period since we already took our history midterm so I'll meet you here, okay?"

Willie's hand falls on his shoulder and Alex is already tense so it doesn't even matter that he gets even tenser. "Hey, man," he says "I read through your speech like, ten times. It's ace, you've got this. Don't even bother looking at the audience, just read right off the paper, okay? You don't even need public speaking skills, you're gonna be a fucking rock star."

"C'mon," Reggie says, standing behind him. "I'll walk you to class."

Alex looks at each face surrounding him, and each of them are encouraging, each of them believe in him. He closes his eyes then and swings his legs over the bench and stands up. "Yeah, let's go."

"Good luck!" he hears a group chorus behind him, but he doesn't look back to acknowledge them, doesn't think he can because if he looks back then he'll see their faces and he'll want to hold on to them and so he focuses on the feeling of Reggie's arm brushing against his and keeps walking forward. It doesn't even take them two minutes to get to class, and then Reggie is shaking Alex's shoulder and wishing him luck. Alex doesn't look at Reggie's face for the exact same reason he didn't look back at his group of friends. He doesn't think he'd actually go into class if he'd looked at Reggie.

So he doesn't look at Reggie, and instead walks into the classroom where Mr. Kullins is waiting. Alex takes his seat—second row next to the window—and waits while the rest of the class files in. He pulls his speech out of his backpack and stares at it. He mumbles to himself, reciting his speech as students fill their seats.

_"You never write a theme for a movie thinking 'this will live forever.'" John Williams, famous composer, said this. He and countless other composers create the accompaniment to films we know and love. Consciously, we hardly pick up on these melodies, but subconsciously, they influence how we consume the media. A good score can cause a tear, while a great score can make you weep. A good score can make you pause while a great score can make you hold your breath. A—_

The bell to start class rings and Alex clenches his fist tightly around the edge of his desk, fighting down the wave of nausea that rises up in his throat. Mr. Kullins is speaking in the background, welcoming everyone to class, explaining that they'll be finishing up the last of the midterms today. It's in alphabetical order by last name, and Alex isn't sure if he's glad to have been granted the grace of going on the last day, or if he wishes he had just gotten it over with on the first day.

McConnell, Rebecca goes first and Alex's nausea rises. Then Stenson, Ryan goes, and the nausea is in every part of Alex's body now, from his head to his toes. Then Mr. Kullins calls Taylor, Alex, and Alex really, genuinely thinks he's going to be sick.

_Don't even bother looking at the audience, just read right off the paper, okay?_

Right—like Willie had said, he could pretend he was just reading it to himself, right? Just read it straight off the paper. Alex stands from his desk and walks to the front of the room, going to stand behind the podium that's set up for their speeches. He sets his speech down on the stand and doesn't lift his head, not once.

"Everyone, give Mr. Taylor your full attention," Mr. Kullins says from where he sits behind his desk, and Alex wants to scream at him. No! Let them—let them go on their phones! Let them talk to each other! Don't make them pay attention to me!

He starts by taking in a deep, quivering breath. " _'You never write a theme for a movie thinking 'this will live forever.''_ " Alex pauses here, swallowing. He can hear people in the audience shuffling. Someone shifts in their chair and he glances up to see who it was. _Shit_. All of their eyes are on him. Quickly, he looks back down at his paper. The words are blurrier than they were when he started, and there's a pressure in his head that wasn't there at lunch, but he presses on. "John Williams, famous composer, said this. He… and countless other composers… create the accompaniment to films we know and love… Consciously," he glances up again against his better judgment and feels his face flush hot when he connects eyes with one of the students. "Uh. Consciously, we hardly pick up on these melodies, but subconsciously—" Alex cuts off when a large black dot dances in front of the words he's reading. His throat is burning all the way down to his gut. Without thinking, he leans both his arms on to the podium and hides his face between them.

_In, 2, 3, 4._

There's murmurings from around him, but he can't lift his head.

_Hold, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7._

There's a louder murmuring from closer to him this time, but he can't, he can't.

_Out, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8._

There's a hand on his back.

His head shoots up, and the room spins.

"Mr. Taylor?" Mr. Kullins asks with a cautious voice, and oh, does he have a lot to be cautious about right now.

"Gotta sit," Alex says quickly, moving to the back wall as quickly as he could to slide down it and put his head between his knees to continue his breathing exercise. He might have felt embarrassed, but the alternatives were passing out or throwing up—he'd know, it's happened multiple times before.

He hears footsteps all around him and the shuffling of desks as he assumes students are trying to move to get a better look at him, but he keeps focused on his counts, and lets Mr. Kullins tell them that the next student is going to go. Someone gets up from their desk and shuffles their papers around before settling it on the podium. Alex briefly wonders what happens to his paper.

The rest of class passes with Alex curled up in the back of the class room, listening to his final three class mates give their speeches, and then they're done. There's extra time left before the bell rings, so that means extra time for everyone to stare at him, so he picks his head up, confident that he's not going to pass out or throw up anymore, and looks at Mr. Kullins. His teacher looks back at him and wheels over in his chair to Alex and frowns at him.

"Are you okay?"

"Now I am. I was about to pass out," Alex explains, far beyond feeling embarrassed about it.

"Does… that happen often?"

"With public speaking?" Alex asks. "Yes."

Mr. Kullins frowns. "We'll speak with Principal Lessa, see if we can't get something figured out. You're not the first one. Do you think you'd be able to do your speech for just me?"

"No, yeah, that would be fine, I just… not… crowds."

"Aren't you in a band?"

Alex nods, just as the bell rings. He carries on, anyways. "Yeah. But that's—different. First, I'm not alone when I'm with my band. Second, I'm _good_ at drums. I'm _not_ good at speeches."

His teacher sighs. "Alright. Your midterm grade will be delayed but we'll speak with Principal Lessa next week."

"Thank you, really."

He nods. "Your speech is on the edge of my desk. Don't forget it when you leave. Are you okay to leave?"

"Yeah," Alex nods, pushing himself to his feet. He's a little unsteady at first, but his balance comes back quickly and he's able to make his way to Mr. Kullins desk and grab his speech. He goes to gather his backpack then, stuffing his speech inside of it, and waves goodbye to his teacher, who waves back.

When he leaves the classroom, he makes his way to the cafeteria like he promised Julie he would. She's waiting for him at their usual table, waving and beaming. He offers a small smile back as he sets his bag down.

"You got through it!" she yells. "It's over!"

Alex laughs humorlessly and slips on to the bench. "No, it's not."

The smile drops off of Julie's face. "What?"

"I nearly passed out, so we're talking to Lessa and I'll be giving my speech to just Kullins. Which, is better, I guess, but now I still have to worry about it until next week."

"Oh, Alex," Julie sighs. "I'm sorry. I wish the band could just… be there with you."

"That'd be nice," he says, putting his elbows on the table. "But I still suck at speaking anyways, so I'm not sure how much that would help."

"Alex, that speech you wrote is _amazing_ ," Julie says. "You're good at _words_ , which is what speaking is. What you're concerned about is how people perceive you. When you have us with you, you think that people are looking at you similar to how they look at us just by association and you're okay with that because you love us. But when you're alone you think that people are looking at you similar to how _you_ look at you, at that's nitpicking every little thing and criticizing every fault."

Alex blinks, stares at her. He feels his mouth open, ready to defend himself, but he's not sure what he'd actually say, so he forces it shut again. Julie sits, staring at him, unwavering. He leans forward on his elbows and brings his hands together, twining his fingers. "I… okay."

Julie rolls her eyes and huffs a small laugh. "Come on, Alex, you know I'm right."

"Do I?" Alex asks, voice pitching up an octave. Because, really. _Does he?_ He's pretty sure it's more due to what he told Mr. Kullins—he's good at drums, he sucks at speeches. Even if he _is_ good at words like Julie said, speeches are an entirely different brand of words. They're spoken word. And that… that is the kind of word that Alex does not do. See, if his assignment were an informative written paper on the impact of film and television scores, yeah, Alex would ace that. But it's not. And not because he thinks his class is looking at him the same way he looks at himself, _Julie_ , but because he sucks at speeches. He says 'uh' too much, he pauses in weird places, his flow is weird, his thoughts wander, and he could go on. There's no room for any of that in papers—well, yes there is, but they can be edited out, is the point.

Julie reaches a hand across the table and covers Alex's fingers with it. She shakes it and offers a soft smile. "You should. You would _kill_ speech class, Alex. You just have to get out of your head."

"Yeah, the person with anxiety has to get out of their head," Alex says, flipping his hand over so he can grab hold of hers. He shakes her hand so her arm wiggles. "Never heard of that quick fix before."

"Hey, I never called it a quick fix! Just said it needed to happen."

Alex smiles at her and pulls his hands back. "I'll keep that in mind." Julie lets him drop the subject after that and they turn their attention to their home work, settling into silence. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEEEE. Not... really getting in to the plot yet obv? But setting shit up. 
> 
> Uh. I was really tempted to actually write Alex's speech because I'm really passionate about film scores. One of my favorites as of recent (2014, anyway) was Interstellar and if you haven't seen the movie and like sci-fi I highly recommend it. 
> 
> Anyways, here's this. I hope you all enjoy it, and I'll see you in three days! (or, if you leave a comment, I'll see you in the comments sooner.) 
> 
> And again, I'd appreciate if you have a tumblr if you could reblog this fic. Again, I'm at [sunsetcurbed](https://sunsetcurbed.tumblr.com/).


	2. you got some place to go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Then you would be Alexander Charles Taylor Mercer, Prince of Beasiga."
> 
> Alex bobs his head some more. "Yup. Exactly. That. So I'm pretty sure you've got it wrong, at least the father part."
> 
> His grandmother—maybe not?—laughs lightly and shakes her head. "I'm quite sure, Alexander. You have your father's eyes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you for the kudos, bookmarks, subscriptions, and comments. I appreciate them all so much. 
> 
> When I posted the first chapter, I said I was going to have a posting schedule of every three days. Well, since then I've finished the fic and decided to change it to every two days. This will give me enough time to edit the chapters, even once classes start back up, but won't leave too long between updates. There isn't much of a difference between two and three days, but I have ADHD and can barely wait in line at Starbucks, let alone wait three days to post a chapter of a fic that is completed and sitting on my computer. It's a miracle I'm not just posting the entire thing at once. Which, I could do, but. I really do need the time to edit. And I like to go over it, take a break, go over it again, take a break, go over it... etc. So I need that time. But two days is a good compromise. 
> 
> IIIII forgot to mention in the very beginning notes, but this takes place Fall/Winter 2021. Well, those are the dates that I used, if you want to imagine it at another time, go for it, but the timeline matches up with 2021. Unlike JatP writers, I know what day everything in this fic happens on. It's even broken down into minutes and hours at some points. There's no "my group is performing at the spirit rally tomorrow!" and then the spirit rally being TWO days later. No. I mention days of the week and occasionally dates, so you'll know when it is. Chapter 1/2 are October 29th, 2021 which will be evident after chapter three, but I might as well tell you now.  
> And yes, it takes place in the future, but. Covid. I could have done it in a world where Covid didn't exist, and maybe I did! Maybe Covid never happened and I just set it in the future for the hell of it. That's up to you to decide. The wonderful world of ~~fiction. 
> 
> Anyway. Why does every movie and show use British accents, cadence, and slang to depict royalty even when they’re not British? I don’t know. Do I think it’s ridiculous? Kinda. Am I going to do it in this fic? Absolutely. (Obviously you can't get an accent just from reading, but. In my head Louisa has a British accent. I'm willing to bet that even if I didn't say this, most of you also would have read her with a British accent also.) 
> 
> warnings:  
> Just so y’all know there is a BREIF, like, single sentence line, about an animal death in here. 
> 
> Chapter title from Wake Up by … Madison Reyes? Julie Molina? Julie and the Phantoms?

The rest of the school day passes uneventfully—just Julie and Alex getting some homework done early while discussing possibilities for their next gigs, that is, the ones they'll play after their Halloween gig at Drake's and their gig at Camelot just two weeks after that. Just as Alex finishes his biology worksheet, the final bell rings signaling the end of the school day. Footsteps thunder throughout the school as students hurried to lockers, and then to busses and cars, but Alex waits patiently at the table with Julie. She frowns at this. "Don't you have to catch your bus?"

"Not today. I'm getting picked up," Alex explains. "But I told them three so all the busses would be gone by then."

Luke joins them then, moving immediately over to Julie to press a kiss to her cheek sloppily, yelling, "midterms are _done!_ "

She laughs, and pats his chest. "Yes, they are. Congratulations."

"Thank you, you too. And Alex! You did i—"

"No," Alex and Julie say at the same time.

Luke frowns and looks between then. Julie glances up at him. "I'll explain on the way home. Alex, do you want us to wait with you?"

"Nah, I'll be fine. You two get home. It's been a long week."

"Definitely," Luke agrees. "We'll see you tomorrow at practice."

Alex nods, and then the two of them take their leave. Settling back down at the table, he pulls his phone out of his pocket and messes around on it until he glances up in the right hand corner and sees it's two minutes to three. He gets up and makes his way outside, relieved to see that he was right about his timing—the busses and the majority of the student traffic are all gone, so whoever is picking him up should have no issue.

He's been standing along the sidewalk for less than three minutes when a polished black limo pulls into the parking lot—purple, gold, and grey flags sticking out of the front and back of the car. He raises an eyebrow as it drives into the student pick up area, and then looks around for whoever it might be here for. In the back of his head, he knows there's a possibility…

There's a girl walking out of the school with her head down, looking at her phone and he really, really hopes—

"Mr. Taylor?"

Shit.

He turns to the voice and sees the driver of the limo out of the limo out at the back door, holding the back door open for him. "If you may."

"Uh, thanks."

It's an awkward ride over—the partition is up so he doesn't get the chance to speak with the driver like he'd (maybe) hoped to, and his phone can only keep his mind so occupied when he's riding in the back of a limo. It's not like he'd about to post this on social media or text his friends about it, anyways. So he's left mindlessly scrolling through instagram, which is boring after a while. He shuts his phone screen off and leans his head back against the headrest. He has no idea where his grandmother is even staying during her visit to LA. It could be a while.

Sooner than he expects though, they're pulling into a drive way for a… a… house? mansion? palace? castle? Alex honestly isn't sure. None of the words feel right. He looks at the surroundings. Whatever it is, it feels out of place here. It's on a normal street, with normal houses and buildings next to it—normal houses that are towered by its reaching gates and normal buildings that are put to shame by its elegant architecture. He sits up and collects his bag that some how drifted to the middle of the limo during the ride and opens the door, slamming it into the driver, who was just about to open the door for him, in the process. Alex gasps. "Oh, my god, I am so sorry!"

"No worries, sir," the driver nods, stepping further back from the door, allowing Alex to push it further open so he can step out.

From there, he makes his way to the front door where he and his backpack are patted down. When they're given the all clear, he's ushered through marble tiled hallways, past a wooden floor library, until they reach a living room with a plush, golden carpet. Alex feels like he should take his shoes off but the person leading him doesn't take theirs off, and doesn't ask him to take his off, so… Alex's shoes stay on.

"Please, have a seat," the man says with a motion at the overly white couch to Alex's left. Alex sits carefully on the couch, resting his bag next to his feet between the table and the couch. He looks back up at the man who is still standing in the entryway. "I am Alden, an attaché for Beasiga."

"Cool," Alex nods. He has no idea what that means. He'll Google it later. "Hey, uh, Alden? What is this place?"

Alden reaches an arm out and gestures around, which Alex thinks is a little unnecessary, but. Well. "This is the Beasiga Consulate."

"Oh," Alex frowns. _That_ , he does know. Well, sort of. He knows it's something similar to an embassy, and he knows an embassy is for diplomats. So—his grandmother must be a diplomat. Meaning she must take much pride in Beasiga meanwhile Alex couldn't even remember the name of the country until Alden said it a minute ago. He certainly wasn't going to know any pub trivia about Beasiga to impress her.

"So—my grandmother… is she—"

"Am I what?"

Alex's neck cricks at how fast he whips it around to find the source of the new voice. At the other entrance of the living room stands an elderly woman in a grey dress that is both simple and elegant. He can see from looking at her from where he's sitting that she's much shorter than Alex, but the way she holds herself makes you doubt that. Most importantly, she has a wide, toothy grin on her face that makes Alex relax into the couch. She looks so genuinely welcoming that he can't help but forget about his worries about Beasiga and pub trivia.

"Alexander," she says. Somehow, it sounds like she's singing and commanding it both at once.

Alex stands from his seat and crosses the room to her. "It's nice to finally meet you," he greets. He's not sure if he should go for a handshake or a hug, but she solves his issues by stepping into his space and reaching up to hug his neck. He leans down and hugs back.

"It's long overdue," she tells him as she steps back. "Now come, sit with me, please. We have much to catch up on, yes?"

For the next while they talk about Alex's life and somehow he doesn't feel overwhelmed about it. He tells her about growing up in Los Angeles, about meeting Luke and Reggie in kindergarten, and then Julie and Flynn in seventh grade. He tells her about forming their band in eighth grade and then about befriending Willie in ninth grade. He goes on to talk about his siblings—Ava and Austin—that his mom has with his step dad, and then his love of English and reading and his inability of all things technological. They some how end up on the topic of his dancing, and he explains that he doesn't dance often, but he loves when he gets to.

Conversation shifts at some point to her life in Beasiga, though she is much more vague than Alex would like her to be. She tells him about her dogs (two Dobermans, Mia and Sophia) and her horses, an entire stable full. They talk about his dad for a while—just superficial things for now, like the fact that he'd never gotten remarried or had another child, and like the fact that his favorite horse was named Charlie, for Alex's middle name. She speaks briefly of her work with the government, just small asides here and there about projects they're working on, and countries they're working with. There's a lot of history that she brings up, but she never seems upset when he doesn't understand her references, at least, not until…

"I don't suppose you've heard of Frederick Alexander Louis Mercer?" his grandmother asks with a deep frown, crossing her ankle behind her other foot carefully.

He frowns. Here's that pub trivia he doesn't know. "No, I can't say I have."

"Frederick was Beasiga's crown prince," she tells him with a meaningful look, which he doesn't understand. She leans forward. "And Frederick was your father."

Alex's mind blanks. "That's… okay," he says, bobbing his head in a quick nod as he presses his lips together and bites the insides of them, trying to will some thoughts back into his mind. "I don't think—I'm not sure you're quite right on that. Because if you were, then—"

"Then you would be Alexander Charles Taylor Mercer, Prince of Beasiga."

Alex bobs his head some more. "Yup. Exactly. That. So I'm pretty sure you've got it wrong, at least the father part."

His grandmother—maybe not?—laughs lightly and shakes her head. "I'm quite sure, Alexander. You have your father's eyes."

"Lots of people have similar features, I mean, only so much diversity can realistically be expected, honestly," Alex rambles. He thinks it makes sense. He's like. 60% sure it makes sense.

"A paternity test was done _because_ of your heritage."

Alex sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth. "Yeah, that one's a little harder to contest."

His grandmother—apparently definitely—smiles at him like he's _not_ making a fool of himself right now. She reaches across the gap between the chair and the couch and places her hand on his. "I am Queen Louisa Mercer, and _you_ , Alexander, are the natural heir to the Beasiga throne."

"… okay."

"Okay?" his grandmother repeats, quirking an elegant eyebrow and drawing her hand back.

Alex shakes his head, getting himself back into it. "I mean—I—uh. Actually, I'm not… really sure what I mean. I… you know I can't be a prince, right? Being a prince means eventually being a king, well, at least in this case it would I think, and being a king means ruling a country and ruling a country means leading people and the only thing I can lead is a beat when I'm with my band. I mean you do realize I have absolutely _no_ experience with… princely or… royal affairs, right? I wouldn't know how to act, or talk, or… no, no. I'm not a prince."

"But you are, dear Alexander," she smiles, "and don't worry about how you speak or behave for now, we have plenty of lessons planned to help with that. Oh, it will take plenty of work but you are certain to become a magnificent prince, how could you not? And oh, you'll love Beasiga, the palace is a beautiful place to live—"

"I'm sorry," Alex cuts her off, "but LA is also a 'beautiful' place to live, with my friends, with the added bonus that it comes without the crushing pressure of _ruling a country_. And you're speaking as if you know me. You're _certain_ I'll become a _magnificent_ prince? How? Did you get to know me so well in the first year of my life? Because you missed the next fifteen years of my life and if you were to ask around, people who actually know me would laugh at the idea of me ruling a country. Like I said, I'm not a prince. I'm barely even a functioning human."

Without waiting for a response (though he hears her vehement protests), he gathers up his backpack and shoves himself off the couch and hurries through the halls to the front door. He doesn't wait for the doorman to open the door, instead flings it open himself in his rush to get out, out, _out._

From there, it's a matter of running down the drive way, out the gate, and as far away from the house (mansion? palace? castle?) as he can before he collapses to the ground and curls in on himself, breaths coming and going raggedly. He pulls out his phone and swipes through his contacts, looking for the least stressful person he can think of. He taps the name and listens to the phone ringing, hugging his knees to his chest as he counts his breaths, in—2, 3, 4. Hold—2, 3, 4, 5, 6—

"Alex?"

"Julie," he exhales, a second too early, but he thinks Julie is more likely to help him now than a breathing exercise. " _Julie_ ," he repeats.

"Alex? Shit—what happened?"

Alex laughs mirthlessly. "Oh. _So_ , so much, Jules. I can't even begin… I can't… I don't—It's all—"

"Okay, we don't need to talk about it then," Julie says. "Hey, is anyone with you? Can you tell me where you are? Just—I need to know you're safe." Alex looks up and finds the intersection he's near and rattles it off to her. She's quiet for a moment. "Thank you," she murmurs. "Do you need to do a grounding exercise or do you just need someone to talk to?"

"Just need someone to talk to," Alex says, dropping his head so his forehead is resting on his knees. "I—as much as I'm freaking out, I still feel like everything that happened was a joke or something? So there's anxiety, and it's bad, but it's not… it's not debilitating yet."

"That's good," she says, and Alex can imagine her nodding with her words. "Do you… do you _want_ to talk about what happened? We don't—oh, wait. Willie just texted me back, I texted the group with where you were and he's ten minutes out. He's going to pick you up."

"Oh."

"Do you want me to tell him not to?"

"Uh—no, it's. It's fine." He looks back down the street in the direction that he came from—where his grandmother was currently staying. He's actually surprised no one had chased after him, but he supposes that it's not urgent as they have ways to find and approach him later. He huffs at that, right into the phone, reigniting Julie's worry. "No, no, I'm fine," he reassures her when she asks again if he wants her to call Willie off. "It's not that. It's… I… don't know. It's been a long day, Jules."

"I'm sorry," she says, and she's so sincere that her apology alone makes him feel a little bit better. He smiles, and feels his breathing even out a little bit. "I'm going to stay on the phone with you until Willie gets to you, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," Alex nods. He searches his brain for anything that could possibly take his mind off of what just happened. He's not surprised when his thoughts land on music. "Did you and Luke figure out the second verse of Finally Free yet?"

"Oh, my gosh! Yes! I can't believe we forgot to tell you today! We cracked it last night…"

He listens to her babble on excitedly about their new song for the next few minutes until he hears the crunching of tires on pavement. He looks down the street and sees Willie's forest green '02 Accord—completely out of place in this neighborhood—pulling up and smiles. He interrupts Julie in the middle of her sentence, which he knows she forgives him for the exact moment it happens, and thanks her for talking with him and for sending Willie. She bids him goodbye and he pushes himself off the ground and grabs his backpack once he's on his feet. Willie rolls to a stop when he's in front of Alex and Alex can hear the _click_ of the doors unlocking. He looks in the car and sees Willie flash his eyebrows up and down quickly and grin. He smiles back and gets in the car, setting his bag at his feet before buckling himself in.

"Thank you," Alex says in greeting.

"You know I'd do anything for you," Willie shrugs, looking back at the road as he shifts the car into drive. "I was just driving around listening to music anyways."

"Still, I appreciate it. I would have had to call my mom otherwise and I don't really want to speak to her right now."

Willie laughs. "What? You came all the way out here with no way of getting back? And what'd your mom do?"

"Oh, no, someone from… someone was supposed to drive me back but—well. Uh. Anyway. And my mom—she. Let's just say she hasn't exactly been honest with me." Alex fiddles with the ripped threads on the knee of his jeans and tries to ignore the looks he can feel Willie throwing at him every few seconds.

"Hasn't been honest in what way?"

Alex hesitates. On one hand, he really doesn't want to talk about this. It is an especially bad idea to talk about this to Willie because he doesn't want to tell his crush that he's a _prince_ , where it might seem like he's trying to make himself seem impressive for his crush, which he certainly does _not_ want to do. Then again, Willie would have to assume Alex has a crush on him to jump to that conclusion and if Willie assumes Alex has a crush on him, Alex has bigger problems. _However_ , if there's anyone to tell, it would be Willie. Sure, Julie might be the obvious choice, but she'd push him to be honest with Luke and Reggie as well, which he… doesn't want to do. He's not sure if they'd resort to teasing him about it or ending up weird about it, and right now, he doesn't want to deal with either of those things. Willie though. Willie can keep a secret like no one's business. Julie still doesn't know that Alex's little sister accidentally killed her hamster when Julie asked Alex to watch her while Julie's family went on vacation over spring break in the ninth grade. Alex called Willie in a panic and Willie drove him to seven different pet stores until they found an identical hamster with a similar temperament. So, Willie could be trusted.

The question is, though, did Alex _want_ to tell him? To a degree, _yes_ , because this was Willie and despite being scared of saying things that would embarrass himself, Willie always made him feel safe and he wanted to share things with Willie. But also, telling Willie would make it more _real_. Telling Willie would bring it out from his grandmother's house (mansion? palace? castle?) and into the real world and Willie knowing about it would make it more personal. Right now, the further Willie drove from Alex's grandmother's house (mansion? palace? castle?), the further the anxiety got from him. He worries that if he tells Willie, that anxiety will come back.

But the anxiety will come back anyways, won't it? It's not likely that that's the last he's seen of her and her… crew? And he's going to have to face his mom too, who must know exactly what was happening today. So, maybe it would be nice to have someone on the outside to talk about it with… right?

Alright, so that's decided. He's going to tell Willie.

Alex sucks in a deep breath and it wavers. He goes to speak, but instead, he just lets out a small whimper instead. Willie looks to him, alarmed, and then back to the road. Alex hears the turn signal _tick, tick, tocking_ , and then the car is turning, and then stopping. Willie puts the car in park and twists in his seat to face Alex. "Hey, Alex," he says, reaching a hand over to grab Alex's left hand off his thigh. "Can you look at me?"

Alex looks at him.

"Cool, thanks. You having an attack?"

Alex blinks. Willie is still in focus, and he can feel Willie's hand in his, can feel Willie's thumb rubbing against the back of his hand, can hear the traffic on the streets rather than the blood rushing in his head. He shakes his head no.

"Great. That's great. Do you _want_ to talk about what happened today, or do you wanna go watch me crash and fall off my skateboard at the park while I try and do some gazelle flips?"

Alex laughs and draws in a steadying breath. It's still shaky, but less so. "I want to."

"Okay. Take your time, okay? We've got all the time in the world, yeah?"

"Yeah."

Willie smiles and squeezes his hand. Alex smiles back, but he doubts it comes out looking much like a smile. He looks away and looks out the front window of the car. They're in a drug store parking lot, parked far off to the side away from the clump of all the actual customers' and employees' cars. It gives them some semblance of privacy, yet it also draws attention to them by making them separate. Alex wonders if somehow, him now knowing he's a prince, if he's also somehow _separate_ from everyone else. If something about him has changed, and people's eyes are going to be drawn to him the way they are to a car parked away from the others in a crowded parking lot. On some level, he knows that's ridiculous. Nothing about him has changed. Hell, he hasn't even fully processed or accepted this fact. And yet his world still feels fundamentally altered and he thinks that, somehow, everyone will be able to see that on him somehow.

"Two days ago my mom told me my grandmother was in town and wanted to meet with me," Alex starts, not giving himself any more time to think. He's staring at a license plate number but even looking directly at it he couldn't tell you what it was. "It—well, my paternal grandmother. I know you know that Mike is my step-dad but when I was a year and a half my biological dad and my mom got divorced and I never heard from him, or my paternal grandparents, again apart from the yearly birthday and Christmas gifts. And you might remember I got the news that my biological dad passed away at the end of July." Here, Willie hums. "I thought, maybe my grandmother wants to connect with her only remaining family. That's how it started out, too. It really seemed like that was her intention.

"But then she asked about—fuck, I can't even remember his full name. But she asked me about the _prince_ of Beasiga. The _prince_ of Beasiga, who was my father." Willie's thumb stops rubbing Alex's hand but Alex doesn't let that stop him. "Now, she mentioned earlier in the conversation that my father never remarried, that I was his only child, that _he_ was _her_ only child, so that made… so I'm a prince? Of Beasiga. And the natural heir. And she wants me to take prince lessons so I can one day become king and _rule_ Beasiga, which I doubt she'd think would be a good idea if she could see me now. Sure, give the kid with panic attacks an army!"

It was quiet for a long moment and then Willie squeezes his hand. "Beasiga doesn't have an army. They only have a national guard." Alex snaps his head around to look at him. "I did a project on the country in tenth grade world history."

"See?!" Alex cries. " _You_ know more about this country than I do! And they expect me to _lead_ it?!"

Willie frowns. "Well, they'd give you lessons—"

"You—what you think I should go lead this country?" Alex gapes.

"Wha—n-no! I just meant that if you took those lessons you'd learn what I had learned. They wouldn't send you in empty handed," he says, and Alex notices Willie's thumb has started rubbing circles on the back of Alex's hand again. He feels some tension seep out of his body and he relaxes back into the car's seat and closes his eyes.

Alex sighs and brings his right hand up, pressing his thumb and forefinger into his eyelids until he starts to see white. "My mom… She _never_ told me. Sixteen years. Even after he died and she probably knew there was a possibility of this happening. How is that fair? I deserved to know about this."

"You did," Willie agrees.

The car grows silent after that. Only the noise of the stalled engine fills the air. Alex brings his hand away from his face and looks over to Willie, who is watching him with warm eyes. The weight of Willie's hand in his is comforting, enough that Alex has the split second thought of leaning over the gearshift and kissing his friend. That thought is shoved out of his mind as soon as it comes. His friendship with Willie is something he's never willing to risk. Well, 'risk' implies there's a chance that Willie might return his feelings, which Alex is sure he doesn't. Kissing Willie would be purely self-indulgent and Alex can't do that. It'd be nice, but—

"You're taking all of this very well," Alex says, breaking the silence of the car while also silencing his thoughts. "What are you _actually_ thinking?"

Willie grins and squeezes Alex's hand. "Oh, yeah. Very well. My best friend is a long lost prince, I'm not freaking out at all," Willie rolls his eyes. "I'm… thinking that I've always thought you were regal, so this—"

"Oh, come on," Alex rolls his eyes.

Willie leans back laughing, eyes crinkling at the edges and Alex's stomach flips. After a few seconds Willie sobers up and his laughter subdues into a soft smile. He sends a wave through his arm, shaking Alex's in turn. "I'm _thinking_ that this is a stressful situation but that you're gonna get through it. And that I'm gonna be here for you, okay?"

Alex squeezes Willie's fingers. "Okay."

Willie slips his hand from Alex's and readjusts in his seat so he's sitting facing forward again. His hand falls on to the gearshift. "I think you've had enough for one day, huh? Wanna go get tea?"

"Fucking _please_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! We begin the ACTUAL journey. 
> 
> As we go on, I hope the scenes I'm writing that are inspired by the movie are different enough that you don't feel I'm repeating the scene, but instead you feel like you're consuming new content. If not, feel free to voice your opinion and I'll take a closer look at my writing and try to rework it. I mean, there's no getting around the fact that some of it will be similar, but... I'm trying. I hope it shows. 
> 
> Consulates are usually just... buildings in the middle of cities? But in the movie it was Not. So I did kind of a mumbo jumbo and combined a house and a building and so you can picture it however you'd like (because that's the beauty of fiction!!) but I'm picturing a baroque-esque building that is several stories high with a tower or two. Maybe it is used as a consulate but it was also built with the intention of being a summer home in the states for the Beasigan monarch which is why it is different. Let your mind go wild. 
> 
> I'm at [sunsetcurbed](https://sunsetcurbed.tumblr.com) on tumblr. Feel free to come talk to me over there whether it be about this fic, about Willex, about the show, or about anything else you have on your mind! Also I post this fic on tumblr as well, I'd appreciate any love you could give it over there as well. :) 
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are always appreciated. See you in a couple of days!


	3. ain't gonna fight it 'cause it's useless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> By the time he's done getting ready it's nearly 9:15, which gives him forty-five minutes to eat breakfast and get to Julie's.
> 
> He heads to the kitchen and freezes.
> 
> Scratch that.
> 
> Which gives him forty-five minutes to avoid his mom and grandmother, eat breakfast, and get to Julie's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another sort of establishing chapter, but I SWEAR iswearisweariswear it’s the last of the sort. With this, everything that needs to be set up will have been set up and we’ll be able to truly get started. And that means the Willex will truly get started. Next chapter there’s quite a bit of Willex, so there’s that to look forward to and hopefully it will make up for the slow start. 
> 
> As always, thank you for the kudos, comments, bookmarks, and subscriptions! I appreciate them all. 
> 
> Chapter title from I Got the Music by Madison Reyes? Julie Molina? Julie and the Phantoms?

He wakes up the next morning feeling particularly exhausted. He didn't fall asleep until sometime after two the night before which, for most people on a Friday night wouldn't be an issue but for Alex, was an issue because he has band practice at ten, so his alarm wakes him up at 8:30.

He groans when the annoyingly chipper ringtone starts playing from his nightstand and presses his head into his pillow. He stays like that for a minute before accepting his fate and reaches an arm over and grabs his phone off the table. He silences the alarm and turns over onto his back to stare up at the ceiling. Yesterday had been one of the most mentally exhausting days he could remember, and yet, it had ended on such a high note that his mind was having a hard time categorizing it.

On one hand, the one and a half panic attacks were… not ideal. They took a lot out of him. And having to wrestle with the idea of him being a _prince?_ That was a thought that didn't leave him alone. But on the other—walking around LA drinking tea with Willie talking about nothing, singing along to the radio in his car as he drove them around, calling out scores for his tricks at the skate park, sitting on the same side of the booth at Chipotle just because they're used to it from school, but most importantly, the face Willie made when he pulled into Alex's driveway. It was so happy and so _reluctant_ , like Willie was thinking the same thing as Alex—that the day had been so nice, but that he didn't want it to end. Alex didn't get home until nine, and when he did, he simply gave his mom a raised eyebrow and went to his bedroom and locked his door. She tried knocking and yelling through his door multiple times the rest of the night, but Alex slipped in a pair of ear buds and put on Netflix and waited until well after midnight to go to the bathroom and brush his teeth.

So, yeah, Alex isn't sure where he sits with yesterday.

He sits up in his bed and throws his legs over the side, and goes about getting ready for the day. By the time he's done it's nearly 9:15, which gives him forty-five minutes to eat breakfast and get to Julie's.

He heads to the kitchen and freezes.

Scratch that.

Which gives him forty-five minutes to avoid his mom and grandmother, eat breakfast, and get to Julie's.

He walks past them without a comment to get a frozen breakfast sandwich out of the freezer and puts it in the microwave. Ava calls out a cheery hello from the living room and he calls one back as he gets a glass of water and grabs his anxiety medication, tipping a pill into his hand. He tosses it back and chases it down with water.

"Alex," his mom tries.

The microwave beeps.

Alex goes over and opens it, careful of the hot sandwich within the paper towel. He picks it up gingerly and unwraps it, but leaves it set to cool for a minute, grabbing a handful of almonds while he waits.

" _Alexander_ ," his grandmother commands.

Alex crunches a mouthful of almonds pointedly.

"Alex, they're calling you," Ava says from the living room.

"Oh, are they?" he hums, disinterested. "I didn't hear anything."

"Alex, _please_ ," his mom goes again. "Just give us a chance, okay?"

Alex looks at her and raises an eyebrow. He looks at the clock. It's twenty after nine. "I have to leave in twenty minutes. That's what you get."

His mom breathes out a sigh of relief. She jumps straight in. "I know you must be wondering why we didn't tell you. When your dad and I divorced, we thought we would _both_ remarry, _both_ have more children. You know how that turned out for him though. But… our number one priority was you growing up with a normal childhood. All I knew was I couldn't… I couldn't handle the primness and rules and I didn't want my child to have to grow up in that world and have to miss out on so many parts of childhood and Fred agreed with me. So we all agreed that distance was the best thing for all of us, especially when Mike came into the picture."

"Were you ever going to tell me, if he hadn't died?" Alex demands.

"We were going to tell you when you turned eighteen," his mom nods. "We even tried to wait, still, but… circumstances moved that up."

Alex frowns and turns to his grandmother. "And you? You were okay with this all?"

She flips her hands over so her palms are facing the ceiling but the way she holds her hands is still elegant rather than how most people would appear helpless. "It's not like I could disagree, now could I? I would be going against your parents' wishes, against my son's wishes. Of course I wish I could have known you, but I do understand their intentions, to an extent."

Right. He supposes she would be the most innocent party out of all of them. At least, that is, if she weren't expecting him to drop his entire life to go rule an entire country. He turns back to his mom and watches her. She crosses her arms over her chest and ducks her chin to her chest. "I'm sorry that our decision hurt you," she says slowly. "That was never our intention. We wanted to protect you."

"Right," Alex nods. He picks up his sandwich, which has cooled down considerably now. "Okay. Was that all, or?"

"Not quite," his grandmother says, holding up a finger. "I have something I would like to discuss with you."

He takes a bite of his breakfast. "Shoot."

She grimaces. "December 21st… there's an annual ball. I had the hope to present you as Prince Alexander at this ball."

From the living room, Ava gasps.

Alex swallows his bite of his sandwich and flicks his eyes towards where his sister is. She's holding onto her tablet, but it's completely forgotten in her hands as she stares into the kitchen with wide eyes and a dropped jaw. He turns back to his grandmother and shakes his head. "I told you yesterday, I wouldn't make a good prince. Again, I'm barely a functioning human."

Footsteps come running into the kitchen. " _Prince?_ "

"Yeah, yeah," Alex huffs, ruffling Ava's hair. She's twelve now—right at the age where she's starting to care about him messing up her hair. She squeaks and ducks away from him and fixes her hair and looks at his grandmother.

"Did you say Alex is a Prince?" Ava asks.

"He is, my dear," his grandmother smiles and Ava _shrieks_. Alex's hands fly to his ears, nearly dropping his breakfast in the process and his mom is quick to yell at Ava, silencing her effectively.

"Does that mean I'm a princess?"

"I'm afraid not," his grandmother says apologetically. "Alexander is a prince on his father's side, and you two share different fathers."

"Oh—that's okay!" Ava turns to Alex. "You're a _prince!_ "

"Not for long," Alex says, reaching over to tussle her hair again.

"That is… what I wanted to talk to you about," his grandmother says softly. "I already mentioned lessons once, but if we work with you until the ball… with some instruction, I really think you would surprise yourself as well, Alexander."

Alex shakes his head, laughing. "Prince lessons?" Next to him, Ava squeals again, but this time it's much softer. He looks down at her to find her beaming up at him, looking like she's a second away from clapping her hands together, too. Alex rolls his eyes.

His mom steps forward. "Yes, prince lessons." She looks between him and his grandmother and narrows her eyes. "Alex, why don't you give them a shot, okay? You're not committing to anything, you're not saying you'll be king of Beasiga one day by going to these lessons, they're just what they are at face value: _lessons_."

Alex narrows his eyes back at her. He knows his mom. He's gotten pretty good at reading into her unspoken words over the last sixteen years. He goes over her words again in his head and tries to find the hidden message—he's pretty sure it's a silent 'yet' added to 'you're not committing to anything'—but he can't be sure. "Okay… And?"

"And you keep your mind open." Yup. _Yet._ Alex holds back his scoff, because that'd be an immediate give away. "That's all. Lessons, and keep your mind open."

"Okay," Alex says, and takes another bite of his sandwich. It's cold now. He frowns, and looks at Ava who is next to him, now hopping up and down.

"Shall we start tomorrow?" his grandmother asks.

Alex scoffs. "No. Tomorrow's Halloween, I have a gig. We can start Monday. I have band practice Wednesdays and Saturdays though, so make sure you don't schedule anything on those days. I'll let you know if we book any other gigs."

His grandmother looks at his mom, confused expression on her face. " _Gigs?_ "

"Uh… events. Shows. Where they play."

"Ah," she nods, looking back to Alex. "What sort of band do you play in? You mentioned the band yesterday but not your music."

Alex raises his eyebrows, surprised at her interest. Then he thinks—it could be because it could be considered a royal scandal. Oh, isn't that a thought. His life could be considered a royal scandal now. "Uh—we started out more as rock, but lately we've been more pop-rock inclined," he says. Then, because he can, he says, "We're actually playing a nightclub in a few weeks if you'd want to see us play. There's a VIP box that I doubt anyone has rented out for our show since we're still up and comers."

He's not expecting her to perk up. "Oh, I would love that. You'll have to give me the information and I'll see what I can have John do."

"O… kay." He glances at the clock as he takes another bite of his cold sandwich. Somehow, even though it feels like it's been an eternity, only six minutes have passed. He moves over to the kitchen table and takes a seat, finishing off his sandwich in a few bites, and just barely keeps himself from groaning when his grandmother takes a seat across the table from him. He picks up his phone and starts scrolling through it, when she asks him a question about his Rothfuss book sitting over on the coffee table. He looks over at her and frowns. "How'd you know it was mine?"

She smiles, gentle and kind, and not at all like a women who is out to ruin his life. "You mentioned yesterday that you were an avid reader, and that fantasy was one of your favorite genres. I assumed from there."

Alex nods. "Have you read it? I mean… to know that it was fantasy…"

"I have," she nods. "I make sure to spend at least an hour a day with leisure reading, though I must admit when I'm not very busy it usually ends up being more than that. How do you feel about Kvothe?"

Alex's first reaction is surprise due to hearing his grandmother say 'Kvothe' because she pronounces it completely differently than he has been reading it in his head. His second reaction is also surprise, due to her asking his opinion on a book he's reading. But then he supposes this… this is really where it had _seemed_ their relationship had been heading. There was such an ease when they were getting to know each other yesterday, and she never made him feel like anything he said _didn't_ matter. Yesterday she wanted to hear about his life, down to the smallest detail, and today, she wanted to hear about his opinion about an asshole Kingkiller. It was hard to reconcile _that_ version of his grandmother with the version that told him he was a prince—that implied he'd be moving to Beasiga and ruling without giving him any say.

Sitting here talking about a book he was reading though, after just having agreed to _prince lessons_ , the two were starting to merge. They were still different, but more overlapped now, rather than two completely separate entities. She was his grandmother, yes, and she had interest in his life. Yet she was also Queen Louisa of Beasiga, and had a duty to her country. Alex supposes he can't be too upset at her for wanting him to be prince—after all, if he declines, that means their family's reign is over. Of course, _of course_ she'd want him to be prince. He can excuse her for being a little bit pushy at first. He relaxes into the chair, and the two images of his grandmother merge together even more.

And then he looks at the clock. He's in the middle of a sentence when he does, not having expected so much time to have passed, but when he sees that it's quarter 'til ten, he stands up so quickly that his chair falls backwards. "Shit!" he curses, bending down to pick it back up and then running to the door. "Sorry, grandma, gonna be late for band practice, gotta go! We'll finish this later!"

Alex skids his bike into Julie's driveway with a minute to spare and rushes into the studio. Reggie, Luke, and Julie call out happy hellos when Alex enters, and he echoes one back. Julie's watching him from her seat at the piano and he sends her a quick nod, telling her he's okay after their phone call yesterday. She had texted him in the evening, but he had been out with Willie, so he had told her he'd text her later and then… never did.

"Hey, uh, before we start," Alex says as he sits on his stool, "just so you guys know, my grandma is in town for the new few months, so I'll be spending some time with her. I told her no Wednesdays or Saturdays, and I told her no days we have gigs, but just a heads up, I'll be around a little less."

"Wait," Reggie frowns. "Your grandma? Didn't both your grandmas pass away?"

"Uh—my maternal grandma and then my stepdad's mom did."

"So…" Luke drawls. "Your dad's mom is in town?"

Alex swallows, then nods. "Uh, yeah. You know, I think I told you guys he passed away in July, right?" With three nods, he carries on. "Right, so, I'm the only family she has left now. So, I mean. It makes sense, right? She just… wants to get to know me, I guess."

"Aw," Reggie coos, "that's sweet. Have you met her yet? Is she nice?"

"No, yeah, she's great. Uh, she, uh, loves reading, just like me. She, uh, she's been great."

"That's awesome, man," Luke says, sounding genuinely pleased. Ever since he made up with his parents over the summer after his six month estrangement with them, Luke has put the value of family above just about everything else. ( _Just_ about. Luke's parents had to compromise that music was in their son's life and that it was there to stay.)

Julie, however, is quiet. She is staring at him with pursed lips, and he is sure she had plenty of questions—and he is sure she has connected his near panic attack yesterday evening to his grandma. He looks at her and pulls his eyebrows together, letting his head tilt slightly. Pleading and promise. _Please don't let them know_ and _I promise I'll fill you in_. He sees the moment Julie gives in as her shoulders relax and she gives him a fake, but still warm, smile. "That's great, Alex. Will we get to meet her?"

Oh, shit.

"Uh," Alex squeaks, "maybe? She, uh, she—she might. _You_. You might. I'm really not sure? We'll have to see."

It's a testament to how long his friends have been around Alex and his anxiety that they don't think his rambling and stammering are odd or out of place here. Except Julie. She knows, but not because of his rambling and stammering. Sure, the guys know about his panic attack because Julie had texted the group, but Julie is too smart not to use that information now, while the guys had let it go once they knew Alex was safe. So Alex, seeing that Julie is still focused on him, gives her a shrug and suggests they get started on practice, which Luke and Reggie eagerly agree to, and Julie nods along to as well.

They practice, write, practice, eat, practice, write, practice, goof off, practice, eat more, and then practice more. By 4:15, they all lay on the floor of the studio going over the set list for tomorrow for what feels like the hundredth time, but they're nothing if not thorough with their sets. They're debuting Finally Free tomorrow, which they played through fully for the first time today, so they're all nervous about that, but excited, too. There's a current running through the entire group, like static electricity—he feels like if he were to touch one of them he'd be shocked. He always feels like this before a gig, there's just so much pent up energy within their group, only for it to explode on stage at their gig. He thinks it is part of what makes them so good. Through all of this, he can almost forget about… everything else. He does, even.

Reggie's mom comes to pick him up about ten minutes later, and Luke runs inside to play Carlos in MarioKart five minutes later, leaving only Alex and Julie. Alex rolls on to his stomach and pushes his torso off the floor, pulling his legs beneath him and hopping up, ready to bid Julie goodbye when she stops him. The look on her face is what brings everything rushing back. He sighs.

"What happened yesterday?" she asks in a quiet voice, standing in front of him, arms hanging loosely at her sides. She's completely open to him, and he feels his stomach twist knowing that he's about to lie to, or at least not be completely honest with, her.

Alex brings a hand up and runs it through his hair, sending his eyes to the chairs on the ceiling before looking back to Julie. "It—it really wasn't as bad as I made it out to be, I promise. I just… I got some news, that I can't share, that shocked me. Me, my mom, and my grandma talked about it before practice this morning, so… it's fine."

"All right… Are _you_ okay, though?"

Alex doesn't answer immediately, because he learned a long time ago that if he didn't give Julie an honest, thought out answer to these kinds of questions then she would end up pressing. Gently pressing, but pressing, nonetheless. So he thinks— _really thinks_ —about how he is. He thinks about how he felt getting the news, and how his heart lost its rhythm in his chest for so long, until Willie was able to set it right again. Until Willie was able to take all the panic and anxiety and hurt that Alex was feeling and flip it, take it and turn it into release and laughter and a sense of _okayness_. Then he thinks of this morning, where he made a deal, one that he can keep until he can confidently step back from his role as prince without a fight from his grandmother and then move forward with his life as if this entire thing never happened. And he thinks of being surrounded by Luke, Reggie, and Julie, and how everything else had just melted away, how it had been like yesterday hadn't even happened, how it had been like he wasn't even a prince, not even now.

And he, well.

"Yeah, I'm okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I envision Ava to have Dizzy from Descendants energy. She already loves her big brother and then she finds out he’s a fucking prince. She’s losing her mind a bit rn. 
> 
> I don't know enough about skateboarding to write the scene, but I briefly mentioned it early in the chapter, but I think Alex rating Willie's tricks is adorable. When Willie is REALLY good at a trick Alex will be overly critical and give him so-so scores (even if it's just to rile him up) but when Willie is learning a trick, Alex will always hype him up and give him higher scores. One day over the summer between his sophomore and junior year he made score cards out of popsicle sticks and notecards and put them in his fanny pack and scored Willie that way. (Turns out it was more trouble than it was worth so he scrapped that idea pretty quick.) Willie loves it because sometimes after he learns a trick he gets lazy or, on the other end of the spectrum, complacent, so Alex being there to motivate him to try his best makes him want to BE his best. And it's never like, a burden? Because skating is something Willie chooses and wants to do, and that Alex actively encourages him in. ... ANYWAY 
> 
> As I said in the beginning notes, this is the last chapter setting things up. We get into some actual plot starting next chapter. Like I said in the way back beginning, like, chapter one, this fic is going to have a more romantically driven plot than the movie, so we really start to get into that next chapter. (Finally. I know y'all are waiting to read that as much as I am waiting to post it.) 
> 
> Come talk to me at [sunsetcurbed](https://sunsetcurbed.tumblr.com) on tumblr!


	4. i feel something around me now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Tell me about it, stud,” Willie grins, reaching up to brush something off of Alex’s shoulder.  
> Alex feels his face growing hot. Did—did Willie just call him a stud? In front of all of their friends? He looks at their friends who are all grinning wide—such a non-reaction that Alex is sure his must have imagine Willie’s words—and then back to Willie. “What?”  
> “What?” Luke cries. “Have you never seen Grea—has he never seen Grease?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi-ho, hi-ho, it’s off to Willex we go, hi-ho, hi-ho, hi-ho. 
> 
> Sorry it's a little late today. AO3 was down. 
> 
> Thank you for all the support. I genuinely appreciate all of it and all of you. 
> 
> Chapter title from Bright by Julie and the Phantoms.

Alex regrets telling his grandmother that they could start lessons on Monday.

Their gig at Drake's goes from nine until half past ten, at which point another band takes the stage. While their parents are all there (all _have_ to be there in order for them to even be able to play the gig) to drive them home right after, all of them are too amped up to fall asleep. They stay up until nearly three texting each other, first about the gig, and then about everything and nothing. Unfortunately, this means minimal sleep, as Alex's alarm comes to life only three hours later at quarter 'til six. Then it's seven and a half hours of school, and now— _now_ …

" _Why_ are you wearing _joggers_ to school? To the Beasiga consulate?" his grandmother asks, and he thinks she does a great job hiding the horror with exasperation in her voice. She gives herself away with the dramatic hand to her chest, though.

Alex sighs and lifts a hand to rub at his eyes. "I had a long night, sorry. I didn't even look at what I was putting on this morning."

His grandmother huffs. She drops her hand from her chest, shaking her head as she looks him up and down. "Dear, you've got to care about how you present yourself, tired or not. Even were you not a prince, this is an important life skill—how you present yourself influences those around you. How they treat you, how they act, and especially what they think. How you choose to dress is how you choose to portray yourself. And it influences _you_ as well. You would feel much more confident in a pair of well-fitted trousers, wouldn't you? And on that note—your hair."

Alex frowns. "My hair?" He reaches up and runs his fingers through it. "What's wrong with my hair?"

"Well, nothing really. But do you not think you could shape it up some? Use some product?"

Alex pulls a face.

His grandmother looks at him. "I'll call in my stylist. How's Thursday? We'll get you set with a new wardrobe and new hair, all right?"

"Wait a minute—"

"If you don't like it you can go back to wearing your old clothes," she waves him off, "and your hair will grow back, won't it? Just give it a chance, will you?"

Alex isn't sure if it's because she's making fair points or if he's really, really tired, but he nods. "Yeah, okay."

Which is then how he finds himself sitting in the ballroom of the consulate three days later as Tasha—his grandmother's stylist—unclips the barber's cape from behind his neck and throws it off of him. He watches as it, and the rest of his hair that had fallen on to it, falls to the floor. He feels bad for whoever has to clean this room later. He's not given the chance to feel bad for too long though, because Tasha is spinning the chair around to face the mirror. He looks up and—

It's actually. Not that bad.

The sides are a little too short for him, and he's going to _hate_ using product every morning to get it to stand up, but… it looks normal. It looks good.

"Wow," he says, for Tasha, Alden, and his grandmother's benefit. "I like it."

"Oh, wonderful!" his grandmother exclaims, clapping her hands together while rising to her feet. "Tasha, _thank you_ for all your work today."

"Of course, ma'am," Tasha says, curtseying politely. "It is always my pleasure to work with you, you must know."

"I do," she smiles, and takes the hand that Tasha holds out to her in hers and nods once. "Thank you, dear. I will contact you for my hair for the dinner in a few weeks as well, is that all right with you?"

"Yes, that's fine. And it was my pleasure, ma'am," Tasha says again, and then she's gone, and Alex is alone with his grandmother while Alden escorts Tasha out.

His grandmother walks up, standing behind the chair and placing her hands on his shoulders. She makes eye contact with him through the mirror and smiles. "Do you know what I think?" she asks. He hums a question. "You look like a prince."

He holds back a grimace at those words and assesses himself in the mirror. He's wearing a pair of dark wash jeans and a pale pink henley with the sleeves of the shirt pushed up nearly to his elbow. Half of him thinks that he looks like every asshole he's ever wanted to punch for catcalling Julie and Flynn when they were out walking around LA, half of him… kind of agrees with his grandmother. Now that he knows he's technically a prince, and now that he is dressed like this, and presented like this… he can see it.

It scares him.

"Uh, yeah," he agrees. "The clothes aren't half bad, either." They're not. They're really, really not. The clothes Tasha had thrown at him this afternoon were just regular looking clothes, albeit most of them are designer brand, but they're just… picked out for him, fitted to him, and then put together for him so he doesn't have to worry about whether or not something will match.

"You like them then?" his grandmother asks.

Alex nods, lifting his arms and looking down to study his current outfit again. "I do. Not as… posh as I was expecting."

She laughs brightly, and squeezes his shoulders. "No, of course not, Alexander. I know you're still in high school. I would never want to make you stand out. No. No, the goal here was to give you more confidence in yourself, that would never work if you felt you were dressed in some rubbish outfit that stood out at your school." She takes a deep breath and releases it. "Ah! I'm so glad you like it! You must tell me what your friends think tomorrow."

(Huh.

It scared him before.

He's _terrified_ now.)

He doesn't have to wait long to find out what his friends think. His bus gets to the school seven almost every day—today is no different. Reggie and Flynn live on the same street and take the same but which always gets there two or three minutes after Alex's. Luke drives, and since he and Julie live a block away from each other, he gives her a ride. They're almost always there five minutes after seven, sometimes earlier, sometimes later. Willie drives himself but he's a toss up as to when—or _if_ —he'll show up each day because of his other friends. Classes don't start until 7:22, and, apart from Willie, their lockers are all in the same bay, and their first classes are all in the same two wings that are right next to each other, so they all spend their mornings together. So Alex knows that it won't be long before—

"Look at you, buddy!" Luke yells, jumping on to Alex's back, one arm wrapping around Alex's shoulder and neck to cling for dear life, while the other musses up Alex's styled hair. Shit, he should have expected that. Maybe he should have left it unstyled for the first few days. "Lookin' all _fancy_ like, lookin' all—"

"Luke, get off of him," Julie commands, and Alex feels himself sway back. He grabs on to the inside of his locker so Julie pulling Luke off of Alex's back won't pull him over, too. A few seconds later, Luke drops off his back, and Alex stands up straight again. He turns to glare at Luke who is smiling innocently. Julie steps forward from beside her boyfriend and reaches a hand toward Alex's head. "Here, let me," she says, and then starts running her fingers through Alex's hair, tugging it until it's in place again. When she's done she wipes her hands on her jeans and steps back. "There. Back to normal before _this one_ had to ruin it. It looks good! New clothes too?"

"Uh, yeah," Alex nods, shifting on his feet and pushing his sleeves up his arms, just to have something to do with his hands. It doesn't occupy them for long, so they drop back uselessly to his side. "My, uh. Grandma. She? She wanted to—she wanted to uh, spoil me a bit, I guess?"

"Dude, you should have asked for a new kit," Luke tells him.

Julie roles her eyes and throws a backhand into his gut. "Alex just got a new kit in March, Luke."

"Yeah, but wouldn't it be awesome if he had two? Then he could keep one at the studio _and_ at his house."

"I, uh, don't think my mom would've let me get away with that, since she didn't even let me keep the old one," Alex makes up. "It's whatever. The clothes are cool, too, I guess."

"Hey, buddy!" Reggie's voice breaks in. "What happened to _you?_ "

" _Wow_ , Alex," Flynn adds, "are you getting… _fancy_ —" she winks "—for someone?"

"Wh—? No. It—my grandma bought me stuff, took me for a haircut, she just wanted to do something nice for me."

"She did something nice for _someone_ ," Flynn grins, looking at Julie, who shares a look with her best friend. Alex wants to ask but at the same time, he really does not.

Julie mumbles something under her breath to Flynn. She then looks over Alex's shoulder and her smile widens. "Oh! Speaking _of_ …"

Alex furrows his eyebrows together and twists around preparing for something potentially humiliating, only to relax immediately when he sees Willie. Willie's smile falters when he must see Alex's new look and his step stutters, but he recovers quickly and he offers a wide smile when he makes eye contact with Alex. Alex can feel the smile grow on his own face. "Hey," he says once Willie is close enough to hear.

"Tell me about it, stud," Willie grins, reaching up to brush something off of Alex's shoulder.

Alex feels his face growing hot. Did—did Willie just call him a stud? In front of all of their friends? He looks at their friends who are all grinning wide—such a non-reaction that Alex is sure his must have imagine Willie's words—and then back to Willie. "What?"

" _What?_ " Luke cries. "Have you never seen Grea—has he never seen Grease?" he demands, turning to Julie. Julie sighs heavily, reaching up to pat Luke's chest, as he rambles to her something about a missed experience and movie night and she's the one that he wants. Alex gives him a look, and then turns back to Willie.

"Sorry, I guess. If that was a reference, I didn't get it."

"No worries, bro," Willie says. He looks at the rest of the group. "We should have a movie night though, if only to keep Luke from premature death."

" _Thank you!_ " Luke shouts. "Do we want to do it tonight or tomorrow?"

"Luke's taking no prisoners on this one," Reggie leans over and says as an aside to Willie and Alex, still clearly loud enough for Luke to hear. He leans back upright and looks at Luke, "I'm good for either."

"Same," Flynn says. 

"I'll be with my grandma this evening," Alex says. "So tomorrow would probably work best."

Luke raises an eyebrow. "You'll be with her all night?"

"I go over after school and I'm there until seven. So if we do it tomorrow we'll have more time," Alex explains, hoping they won't think too much into the amount of time he's spending with her and why it's so structured. But, well. Non-princes have structured visits with their grandparents too, right? He honestly can't remember. His last grandparent passed away when he was twelve.

"Saturday it is then," Julie decides. "That work for you, Willie?"

"Yeah, I can make that work," he says. "You guys finish practice at four, right?"

"Yeah, we usually aim for somewhere around there," Julie confirms. "So you can come over any time after four."

"Right," he nods, and snaps his fingers, instantly turning them into finger guns, pointing them at Flynn. "You want a ride, then?"

"Please," Flynn says, and Willie nods, reaching forward to high five her. When their hands collide, she clasps his hand in hers. "We can make our own band in the ride over too."

"Ooh," Willie cringes, "not sure if you want me in your band. Unless you just want me to dance for you. I've got that covered no problem, but anything beyond that, I—" he makes a face and pulls his hand back from hers to drag it across his neck in a cutting motion (even though Alex _knows_ he can sing). "No go."

"Fine," Flynn huffs. "I guess we can let them have their thing."

"Oh, that's sweet," Reggie hums, propping an arm on Flynn's shoulder—the only one who could ever dream of getting away with that. "Did you hear that guys? She's going to _let us_ have our _thing_."

"How considerate," Julie coos.

Alex holds up his hands in a show of innocence. "I'm an innocent bystander if Luke murders Flynn for calling our band a thing."

"I wasn't going to murder her," Luke rolls his eyes, shoving at Alex's shoulder.

"Maiming her is also a crime," Willie adds.

The group around Alex laughs and Alex feels his chest expand, happy to be with his people. It's not that prince lessons have been horrible, but they've definitely taken a lot out of him this week, especially being added on top of his schoolwork. He barely has time to talk to his friends anymore, let alone be with them like this. Even at lunch he's been working on homework, just so it's more that he doesn't have to do later that night. They've all been great about it—offering to help with his homework, catching him between classes just to get in their four minute conversations, and staying up a few minutes later than normal to text with him when he finally finishes homework for the night. But… _this_. The entire presence of the entire group is just rejuvenating and Alex is angry that he's only got a few minutes of it left. But he's going to soak it up for as long as he can, because he knows that he owes his happiness to his friends and right now, he's really happy.

At lunch, he's busy doing his math assignment, even though it's Friday. With band practice _and_ the movie night tomorrow, and prince lessons on Sunday, he's not sure how much time he'll have this weekend for his homework. He's sure his grandmother would cut back on the lessons if needed, but if he can get it done at school just as easily, he might as well. He's hunched over his book and worksheet while his friends all make noise around him, Reggie jostling him every once in a while. Willie, however, never once bumps into Alex even though Alex can see Willie stand up multiple times to reach across the table to wrestle something away that Luke has stolen from him. It's surprisingly easy to get his work done despite the chaos. His anxiety drives him, causing him to hyper fixate on his work, but that also means that, like Tuesday, he forgets to eat.

The bell rings and Alex snaps his head up looking around him, his nearly completed math assignment still under his pencil. His friends are all getting up. Reggie grabs the piece of pizza off of Alex's tray and shoves it in his mouth. He mumbles around the food in his mouth, that only years of hearing Reggie speak with food in his mouth allows Alex to make out "you snooze you lose." He is, however, at least decent enough to throw away the tray of the food that he ate, so Alex doesn't complain too much.

He closes his worksheet in his math book, bookmarking the page where he left off, and slips the book into his backpack. He moves to stand up, but as he spins on the bench, he realizes Willie is still sitting next to him. When they make eye contact, Willie flicks his eyebrows up and down and smiles. "Back with us, hot dog?"

"Yeah. Sorry for ignoring you guys, I just—"

"Hey, no, that's not—" He reaches into his backpack and pulls out a bag of trail mix. "You didn't eat Tuesday, kind of assumed it was going to happen again at some point so I came prepared. Now at least you'll have something, dude."

Alex takes the pack from him and wills his face not to burst into flames and nods. "Yeah, thanks, Willie."

They both stand up and walk out of the cafeteria, heading towards their classes. When they reach the D wing, where Willie is meant to turn and Alex is meant to continue straight, Willie grabs Alex's hand and pulls him through the group of students to the wall. Alex follows confused, but willing, and frowns at Willie when Willie turns to him and leans against the wall. "D'you think your grandma would let me pick you up today instead of having her guard dogs take you home?" Willie asks.

"Huh? Why?"

Willie shrugs, nonchalant. "Haven't gotten to talk to you outside of text all week, and even text has been pretty sparse. I know you're busy, I get it, I do. But I kinda just wanna hang."

"What about tomorrow?"

Willie scoffs. "Come on, it's gonna go like every other movie night we have after band practice—you're going to make it through the first movie, which, by the way Luke's not going to let us talk through since you've never seen Grease before, and then you're going to be asleep within the first thirty minutes of the next."

"I will not—I won't—I—whatever," Alex mutters. He wants to refute it, but he can't drudge up a memory to do so. "I'll talk to my grandma. I don't see why it should be an issue."

"Great," Willie grins. "Have a great rest of your day, yeah? Text me the answer and address." He glances at the clock. "And you might wanna hurry to class too." Alex looks at the clock and curses, turning and rushing down the hall. He makes it to class with a few seconds to spare, and the anxiety of nearly being tardy morphing into the immediate focusing on class doesn't let him think too much on his potential… _hang_ with Willie later.

When he gets to lessons that day, he asks his grandmother later if Willie can pick him up and she tells him yes. So at seven he bids goodbye to her, Alden, and John, the head of security. Willie's car is parked in the driveway and, just like last Friday when he came to pick him up just down the street, it looks entirely out of place in this neighborhood. Alex doesn't care. He gets in the car, placing his backpack on the floor, and buckles himself in. Willie had started driving as soon as he shut the door, so when Alex looks up, they're already turned out of the driveway. "Where to, then?"

"I'm not sure," Willie shrugs. "I didn't plan that far ahead."

"You're a horrible date," Alex jokes, sinking further into his seat.

Willie casts a look at Alex. "Yeah?" he grins.

"The worst."

"Well I guess I just have to step up my game then," Willie hums, and flicks his turn signal on to switch lanes. It seems like he's made his mind up where they were going. "So how's school been—how did your midterms go? Junior year kicked my ass, and I didn't have the added pressure of learning to become a prince."

Alex laughs, but starts talking about his classes and what he got on his midterms, before asking Willie about his classes as well, and about what Alex should expect next year. About twenty minutes later, Willie is pulling into a parking lot, pulling out his wallet as he does so he can pay. Alex looks around at where they are and frowns. They're near Venice Beach but not _at_ Venice Beach, so Alex isn't sure what Willie's plan is here. However, there's a parking lot here, so Alex figures there must be something of significance.

They get out of the car and right away Willie leads him in one direction and, well, it all makes sense then.

"Seriously?" Alex groans.

"What, hot dog?" Willie asks, turning to him, holding his arms out at his sides. "Are you not impressed with my date?"

"This is _the_ most cliché Los Angles date," Alex tells him, taking a few longer strides so he can catch up to Willie, who's walking up on one side of the Venice Canals.

"Is it? Is it _really?_ Because by the look on your face you didn't even know where we were until just now. I think I'm winning at this whole date thing."

All right.

They really need to stop saying 'date' before Alex starts to get his hopes up. They're already up enough as it is—adding in banter about their non-existent date is… not helping him.

"Just because I've never been here before—"

"You've _never_ been here before?"

"No. My parents don't really do tourist-y places," he says.

A smile spreads on Willie's face. "Oh, that probably means I have more date material, doesn't it? All the tourist spots you've missed out on your entire life?"

Alex hums, and doesn't comment, because _fuck, stop saying date._

"This was actually my parents first date, too," Willie says, and Alex's mind malfunctions at the 'too.' Sorry, too? _Too?_ He runs Willie's words back in his head. Yeah, he definitely said _too_. "They met at Venice Beach and decided to keep their first date close to where they met since they thought maybe it was lucky or something." _Too_. "That's what my mom says, anyways. My dad always laughs when she says that, never agrees, but never disagrees, either. I _definitely_ don't agree, I don't think Venice is lucky or anything." _Too._ "I do think it's a good spot though, cliché or not. You can't deny that it's a great place, right? So, c'mon, hot dog. You can go on and admit that I'm actually the best date."

Alex laughs. He hopes it's just him that it sounds off to. "Not a chance, puka. A date isn't just the location, you know."

Willie quirks his eyebrows and pokes his tongue in his cheek. "You're right." He reaches over, grabs Alex's hand, and tugs. They start walking the canals and Alex expects Willie to drop his hand but he doesn't. "I can't ask first date questions since we already know everything about each other—" _first_ date. Alex is maybe panicking. "—so you gotta help me out here. What _don't_ I know about you?"

Alex's brain is currently short-circuiting, so thinking of these things isn't easy for him at the moment. He takes a minute to really think about everything that Willie knows about him and says, "I actually like the sofritas at Chipotle more than the steak. When Julie told me it had more sugar it ruined my whole 'it's healthier' disguise."

"Dude, I know that," Willie laughs. "You _devour_ sofritas. No, that doesn't count. Something else."

"I hoard books. I've literally got over a thousand books. I have three book shelves in my room and—"

"No, I knew that, too. I've been to the bookstore with you, and I've seen your room on Snapchat. Something else, man, dig deep."

"Okay, here," Alex starts. "No one knows—well, actually Julie probably knows at this point. But Reggie and Flynn don't—"

"Luke does?"

"I'm getting there," Alex says. He pauses. "He was my first kiss. And second and third and—a lot. We didn't… date? But both of us wanted… _practice_."

" _Really_ ," Willie whistles. "When was this? I thought he's been all eyes for Julie since he met her?"

"Yeah but they didn't get together until sophomore year. Anyway, I'm pretty sure he was practicing _for_ her," Alex admits. "I didn't care. It was just… nice, at the time."

"Huh. Well, yeah, okay, definitely didn't know that one," Willie acknowledges.

"Yeah," Alex laughs, "like I said, no one does."

"All right, your turn."

"You're not just going to answer?"

"You wanna ask the same question then? Something you don't know about me?"

"Oh." Alex looks down at the ground. In the corner of his eye he can see their hands swinging together. He looks towards them. They _look_ completely fine even though it _feels_ like his hand is on fire. "Uh," he clears his throat, and looks back up, looking at Willie. "If you could talk to any animal, what would it be?"

Willie's step falters and Alex opens his mouth, about to take it back, ask for a redo, when, "like, any _species_ of animal, or like, a single… _one_ animal, like, say I had a pet dog, I could only talk to that pet dog?"

"Like, a species?" Alex says, voice lilting into a question.

Willie hums, thoughtful, but he looks genuinely into the question, so Alex doesn't ask to take it back even though he feels like it had been a ridiculous question. Willie's face is so focused that Alex doesn't want to break him out of it. After a minute, he picks his head up from where he'd been watching the ground as they walked, and looks over at Alex with a confident look on his face. "Crows. Hands down. They're supposed to be one of the smartest animals out there. Did you know they understand water displacement? Like, scientists did an experiment where they put treats in water in long, skinny test tubes and gave the crows objects. They-they figured out that the heavier the object, the higher the treat rose. They learn safe and dangerous places to go, and they can remember good and bad people, and hold grudges against bad people and even pass those grudges down through generations. And they, sometimes they hold funerals? Which I think is really cool of them. They're can make their own tools or use things around them—there are crows that drop nuts in the street during red lights in path of car tires, let the cars run the nuts over, wait for the light to turn red again, and then go get the food. They just… they seem so cool, y'know? I'd love to talk to something that intelligent that isn't human."

In the second that it takes Alex to blink, he falls even further in love with Willie. Alex… can't believe that Willie is real. He took Alex's dumbass question and ran with it and didn't give some half-assed answer like most everyone else would have done. He put genuine thought into a inane question and even before he answered he had made Alex feel relaxed for asking a question that Alex had thought was dumb. Alex feels so at ease around Willie, even when he does something foolish like ask a completely out of place question, and Willie just… makes him feel like it's okay. Willie makes him feel like it's _not_ an out of place question.

"Alright, sticking with the animal theme, if you could be an animal for one day—what day?"

Willie really makes him feel like it's not an out of place question. 

"I—" Alex goes to answer the question, then narrows his eyes. Well that's not how he expected the question to end. He looks over at Willie and sees his shoulders shaking as he giggles to himself. He goes with it, just like Willie had. "Is it every week or just this upcoming day?"

"Hm. Every week."

"Sunday," Alex decides. "It'd get me out of the seven hour lessons I have coming up every Sunday for the next month and half for the foreseeable future and after that… wait, is this like… a werewolf situation where like… Sunday, boom, I'm an animal? Or do I get to like, change at will?"

"Let's go on the side of chaos. Boom, you're an animal."

"Oh, great. That's fun. That's awesome. I hope I'm not a dangerous animal."

"Nah, man," Willie grins, bringing his hand that's not holding on to Alex's and swinging it to bump Alex in the chest. "You'd be a golden retriever. But like, one who wasn't taken out enough as a puppy, you know? So you're scared of shit."

"Makes sense. Yeah, though, still Sunday. Gets me out of lessons. And it can't be Saturdays because of band practice, and I can't miss a day every week of school a year, so. Sunday is the only option. Plus maybe my parents would stop giving me disappointed looks every time I didn't go with them to church. I _can't_ Mom, Dad, I'm on four paws and slobbering."

Willie swings their hands exaggeratedly between them. "Who knows? Maybe if you were a dog they'd have an excuse to clip a leash to you and literally drag you to church." Alex looks at Willie, horror on his face. Willie laughs. "Alright. Your turn."

He looks back ahead. He dodges out of the way of a couple that's passing them, which means he has to press his body closer to Willie's. When they separate again, his mind is going so fast he can't keep up. He tries to think of something, tries to come up with anything. "What are you most proud of?"

Willie's eyebrows go up. Alex thinks he's asked _another_ stupid question for a second until, "huh. That's a good question. I'm… not sure? Obviously I'm really proud of my dancing, I'm really proud of my grades, my dedication to my work… I'm _really_ proud of my skateboarding. I've come a long way with that, and it's… you know my skateboarding is like… is like my happy place. But I also don't skateboard to show off or for a job? So saying that I'm _most_ proud of it doesn't feel right." He looks over at Alex and studies him. He tilts his head, and then looks back out at the path they're following again. "I'm proud of my friendship," he decides. "I'm proud when the kids at the skate park come to me when they need help with a trick, or when they want to show off a new trick. And when Flynn and Julie ask me to help them prank you guys. And when Reggie feels safe enough to tell me about his parents fighting again, and takes me up on my offer to hang out at midnight just to get him out of the house. And when Luke asks my opinion on a new song and genuinely cares about my opinion. And when I help you through a panic attack, and see you come back to yourself and know that you're okay. And—and just hanging with you guys, making you smile, making you laugh. I'm proud of that."

He feels overwhelmed for a moment, but when it passes, he feels so genuinely grateful to have a friend like Willie. To have someone who is not only willing to help him through his darkest moments, but is proud to do so, who isn't ashamed or embarrassed to be associated with the kid who has anxiety. He's grateful that his friends have someone like Willie: that Flynn and Julie have another mind to help them—with school as well as their pranks. And Willie not only helps Reggie with his parents, but sometimes Reggie will see Willie playing with a fidget toy and a few days later at lunch Willie will toss it to Reggie, holding up a new one saying his parents had accidentally gotten him two. Then with Luke, Willie helps him get away from music and just exist in the world and he's one of only five people who can do that, so that's amazing enough on it's own. And with Alex, Willie is there through the hard times, yes, but Alex loves most when they're celebrating the good times together because that's when Alex can appreciate it the most. It's just—Willie's incredible, he's an incredible friend, and Alex is so glad that Willie _knows_ that.

"I think I asked the better questions," Alex murmurs, at a loss for anything else to say. But, Alex really does think he asked the better questions in the end, even if they had been dumb. Or, maybe he didn't ask the better questions; maybe Willie just had the better answers. He feels like he got so much more out of Willie than Willie got out of him and for a second, he feels guilty. This had been Willie's idea—Willie had been the one who had wanted to find out more about Alex. Alex will just have to find ways to disperse pieces of himself into the rest of their conversation today to make up for it.

Willie tips his head back and laughs. "Uh-uh, no way. My first question got out of you that your first kiss was Luke Patterson. Clearly the superior question." Alex groans and drops his head. "Yours were a close second and third, I'll give you that."

Alex huffs, feeling his face heat up. "I'll just think of a better question."

" _Nothing_ is going to beat finding out that Patterson was your first kiss," Willie says, squeezing his hand. It sends a jolt through Alex, and reminds him that they are, in fact, still holding hands. That they are walking around Venice Canals holding hands. On a " _date_." Oh, fuck him. He looks over at Willie who is looking back at him with a smug grin on his face. "So. Your Royal Highness—" Alex groans, and Willie laughs "—what exactly have you been doing at those lessons of yours?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all might have realized by now I like talking in the end notes, and this time is no different. 
> 
> I put a lot of thought into the class schedules EARLY on into the fic, when I thought I might use them more. I... Did Not. So I just had these sitting there so I had to put them out into the world to make them feel like they were worth something. So now you can know who shares classes with who. They’re in mods—there are 16 mods in a school day. Most classes are broken down into 2 mods, coming out to be ~50 minutes, but at LFHS, the performing art you specialize in is a four mod block. 
> 
> Alex: 1-2: precalc, 3-4: english, 5-6: econ, 7-10: music, 11-12: lunch, 13-14: public speaking, 15-16: biology.  
> Julie: 1-2: precalc, 3-4: public speaking, 5-6: english, 7-10: music, 11-12: lunch, 13-14: biology, 15-16: econ  
> Luke: 1-2: biology, 3-4: public speaking, 5-6: econ, 7-10: music, 11-12: lunch, 13-14: english, 15-16: precalc  
> Reggie: 1-2: public speaking, 3-4: english, 5-6: econ, 7-10: music, 11-12: lunch, 13-14: biology, 15-16: precalc  
> Flynn: 1-2: public speaking, 3-4: english, 5-6: econ, 7-10: music, 11-12: lunch, 13-14: biology, 15-16: precalc  
> Willie: 1-2: calc, 3-4: chemistry, 5-6: gov, 7-8: psych, 9-10: english, 11-12: lunch, 13-16: dance 
> 
> Dance is at the end of the day bc sweat lmao 
> 
> (I put Willie in dance because LFHS is a performing arts high school so... he needed a performing art. And Booboo does martial arts and kills all his dances in Descendants, so it felt like the obvious choice.) 
> 
> Also I know in the show the girls have a dance class but in my mind they're sophomores in the show and that counts as their phys ed requirement and in my high school phys ed only went through freshman and sophomore year. And then you had to take extra classes like econ and gov and I'm assuming econ and gov are requirements everywhere? Idk man high school is stressful I'm so glad I'm done with it. 
> 
> Also, show question: someone please tell me why Julie is in calc? Like, I’m not imagining her to be a senior and in every high school I’ve ever heard of calc is the highest-level math you can take? I’m so? confused? 
> 
> Feel free to come talk to me at [sunsetcurbed](https://sunsetcurbed.tumblr.com) on tumblr! See you on Thursday!


	5. 'cause everything is rushing in fast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What the fuck?" Luke murmurs across the table from Alex, just loud enough to grab Alex's attention from worksheet. "What the fuck?" he says again—much, much louder. His head snaps up and his eyes, burning, land on Alex.
> 
> Alex flinches back. "Dude, what?"
> 
> Julie is leaning into Luke's space, reading whatever is on his phone that's made Luke so upset. The rest of the table is silent, even Greg and Shawn. Alex is just… waiting, at this point, really, but Luke seems too angry for words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the love as always, and also as always, it’s appreciated. 
> 
> Chapter title from Stand Tall by Julie and the Phantoms.

Their movie night starts off as normal with the group in the kitchen making their snacks. Alex has no reason to suspect that anything will go differently than his past experiences. So when things do... change, he's thrown off.

In Julie's living room, there's a couch, a love seat, and a recliner. Luke and Julie always share the love seat and Flynn claims the recliner. That leaves Alex, Willie, and Reggie to figure out who gets the two armrest seats of the couch and whether the other wants to take the middle cushion or just lounge on the floor. They… don't have that issue today.

Reggie is the first one inside from band practice so he is the first one done making his popcorn so he gets first claim. When Alex and Willie make it out, Willie gestures for Alex to take the other, and quirks an eyebrow at him. "I'll figure something out," he says. Alex eyes him warily but takes the seat anyways, grateful for a place to set his water down. Willie stands there for a moment, staring between Alex and the middle cushion. He sets his popcorn next to Alex's feet, then sits on the middle cushion with his back facing Alex, and reclines himself back so he's lying across Alex's lap. He grins up at him. "Told you I'd figure it out."

Alex quite literally has no idea what to do or say. What comes out is: "I'm going to drop so much popcorn on you."

"Cool. More for me."

He's thankful for his friends, because over the next hour, every single one of them sends him a _look_ when Willie's attention is elsewhere, which lets him know that he's not just being dramatic. This… this is new and this is—

Alex doesn't want to call it weird.

He's actually quite enjoying it, once the initial awkwardness has faded away. He likes the weight of Willie in his lap. It's grounding. And Alex has an arm across Willie's abdomen, and Willie is absentmindedly playing with Alex's hand that's resting on Willie's side, and Alex likes the feel of Willie's fingers on his. Still, it's all overwhelming, but Alex finally has his proof that he needed to refute Willie: he's wide awake and doesn't fall asleep at all through the second movie, which Willie teases him about from his lap.

He spends the rest of movie night trying not to wonder what this could possibly mean because he knows the most likely answer is that it doesn't mean anything.

Days blur together for Alex after that—he doesn't have an off day (he doesn't have an off _hour_ ). Honestly, he likes that. He likes the constant going, the constant moving, the constant action in his brain. It keeps him from lingering on one thing for too long, from letting one thing manifest and grow into something beyond itself and gnaw away at Alex until he's a shell of himself.

He has his prince lessons, therapy twice a week—which his grandmother had offered to bring to the consulate after he had a panic attack in front of her on Sunday—, school, band practice, his new Friday "date" with Willie after prince lessons, and then on Saturday the 13th, Julie and the Phantoms play Camelot, a wildly popular nightclub that they'd worked their entire high school career to book. They're excited about it, and Alex is even more excited about it because his grandmother has _actually_ booked the VIP suite, which, as Alex had expected, hadn't been reserved. She invites Alex's parents to come as well, so they hire a baby sitter for Ava and Austin and make a night of it, and Alex plays his heart out (not that he usually doesn't, but this feels special). The next day, at his shortened Sunday prince lesson, he catches his grandmother humming along to Finally Free a few times, though he doesn't point it out. He doesn't need to bring attention to it. Just… knowing is enough.

Somehow it's already Monday the 15th, two weeks into his prince lessons. He is getting more used to the routine now. He still does his homework at lunch, but he doesn't focus quite as hard, as he has learned that he has enough time left at the end of each day to do it. Still, sometimes it is nice to watch Netflix instead of doing homework. That's his hope for tonight as he sits at their lunch table, bent over his math homework. Reggie and Flynn are lost in conversation and Willie is talking about some skating competition with Greg and Shawn, while Julie and Luke are on his phone.

"What the fuck?" Luke murmurs across the table from Alex, just loud enough to grab Alex's attention from worksheet. "What the _fuck?_ " he says again—much, much louder. His head snaps up and his eyes, burning, land on Alex.

Alex flinches back. "Dude, what?"

Julie is leaning into Luke's space, reading whatever is on his phone that's made Luke so upset. The rest of the table is silent, even Greg and Shawn. Alex is just… waiting, at this point, really, but Luke seems too angry for words. Alex can see him literally shaking. So instead he turns to Julie to gauge what to expect from Luke based off of her reaction. The way her eyebrows are halfway up her forehead and her lips are parted, he guesses it is something big. And then her eyes flick to him. "Alex," she starts, but Luke cuts her off.

"So, what," Luke hisses leaning over the table, dropping his phone like he's completely forgotten it. "You were going to drag us along for as long as you could and then drop us at the last minute to go live in some castle in a country you didn't even know the name of a month ago?"

"Luke," Julie whispers, grabbing at his chest to pull him back.

"Thought maybe you'd get one last hurrah, but oh, no, don't even bother to _mention_ it to us," he spits, spinning in his seat fluidly, standing up, and storming out of the cafeteria. Julie sends Alex and apologetic look and then chases after Luke. Flynn sighs and gets up from the table, chasing after her best friend.

Reggie is staring, wide eyed, shell shocked. "Uh… _what?_ "

"I… don't know," he says even though he has a guess. But he's not sure how Luke would know or how his phone would factor in. Alex reaches for the phone that Luke had left abandoned and freezes. One of his instagram pictures is on the screen, but it's not on instagram, it's on a news site. Beneath it, there are several blocks of text.

_Prince Alexander of Beasiga, 16, is a student at performing arts high school Los Feliz High School in the Los Feliz District of Los Angeles, California. The prince is in a popular pop-rock bank with three other members (Julie Molina, Luke Patterson, Reggie Peters). The band is called Julie and the Phantoms and they were last seen playing at the popular nightclub Camelot, November 13_ _th_ _where sources confirmed his identity. The prince is the band's drummer and a back up vocalist._

_Alexander has been on the honor roll at his high school multiple times throughout his schooling career and is in the highly renowned music program at Los Feliz High School. He is close with a small group of friends who mostly keep to themselves. According to all sources the prince is currently unattached romantically and has never been linked to anyone, not even close friend Julie Molina._

_Sources say that Prince Alexander will be presented at Beasiga's annual Independence Day Ball on December 21_ _st_ _, accepting his role as future ruler of the small but mighty country._

Alex drops the phone to the table after that, completely uninterested in anything else that it has to say. He doesn't need to read a news article to know about his life. He is _living_ it. Except he certainly isn't planning on accepting his role as future ruler of Beasiga on December 21st.

On either side of him, Willie and Reggie lean in to look at the phone. Willie's hand immediately comes up to his shoulder and squeezes while on his other side, Reggie snorts.

"Dude, _what?_ " he laughs. "Is this news article calling you a prince?"

Alex looks at Reggie. He feels his knee start bouncing under the table, and Willie must too, because his hand goes from Alex's shoulder to Alex's knee. "Uh… yeah. It is." he says. He takes in a deep breath when Reggie laughs harder and lets it out. "Reg. It's right. I—I am."

"Oh, sure," Reggie laughs, elbowing Alex in the side. When he looks over to Alex and sees his face though, Reggie pauses. Slowly, the longer he looks at Alex, the more the smile on his face fades. After a minute it's nearly gone. "Dude, seriously?"

Alex swallows. "Yeah, Reg." He reaches for the phone and holds it up shaking his head. "But—but this isn't—I didn't—I've made _no_ decision. Well, yeah, I have—I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna be a _prince_. Two weeks ago I almost passed out during my public speaking midterm. Do you really think I'm planning to throw away the band to be a public figure for the rest of my life? Do you think that'd go well for any of us?"

"Of course not," Reggie says, seemingly offended that Alex thinks Reggie could share Luke's thoughts. "You love our band. I know that. Besides, even if you were going to move and become prince, we'd find a way to make it work."

Alex stares at Reggie for a long moment, and then feels a small smile form. "Thanks, Reg."

Reggie shakes his head. "That's not something you thank me for, man. That's just how we work. We're a band. That doesn't stop just because you're royalty now."

"You're taking this surprisingly well," Willie says from Alex's other side. "I knew Luke was gonna freak—didn't realize how much—, I said Julie's gonna try and find a way to fix it in her own way—probably offer to talk with his grandma—, and I guessed Flynn was gonna reference Prince Charming, William, and Harry all within twenty-four hours of finding out, so there's still... twenty four hours left for that. But I really wasn't sure for you. And yet I'm still surprised. Huh."

"I don't really know how you're supposed to react when you find out your best friend is a prince, to be fair," Reggie points out. Alex and Willie both laugh. Reggie narrows his eyes. "Wait. _You knew?_ "

Willie grins. "Oh, yeah. From day one."

"We've been best friends since kindergarten, Alexander!" Reggie gasps, dramatic and exaggerated, in a way that lets Alex know he's not really upset.

"Yeah, well," Willie leans into Alex's space and rests his chin on Alex's shoulder. "What we have is stronger."

Alex feels his heart pick up into overdrive and his face heat up, all while Reggie raises his hands in surrender. "Whoa, okay, I know where I'm not wanted."

"Who said we didn't want you?" Willie asks in a deep voice.

"Okay!" Alex yelps, shifting so Willie's chin falls off of Alex's shoulder. Willie starts giggling, and Reggie falls into laughter, and Alex just feels like he's about to combust. He stares at the table while the two of them get this out of their systems, which leads to staring at Luke's phone, which leads to thinking about the article, which leads to—"Oh, my god."

"What?" Willie and Reggie ask at the same time, both still laughing.

"The news published a story about me."

"Uh, yeah, we were just reading it," Reggie laughs a little more, but Alex notices Willie go silent next to him.

"Yeah, I know, Reg," Alex says. "But—this is supposed to be a secret, at least from the public. I admit I didn't tell you guys for reasons that don't matter anymore, but—they're not supposed to know I exist yet."

" _Oh_ ," Reggie says, slipping from laughter to serious just like that. A lot can be said about Reggie not taking life in general seriously, but a lot can also be said when it comes to him taking the lives of his friend's seriously. "That's not good."

"No, it's not."

"When was it published?" Willie asks.

Alex picks up Luke's phone and unlocks it—eleven years of being his best friend having earned Alex that privilege—and looks at the publication time. "An hour and a half ago. Why?"

"Hey, Alex?"

Alex turns in his seat to find Flynn standing behind him. "Yeah?"

"Principal Lessa wants you in her office."

"What?" he frowns. "Why?"

"Your… grandma? is coming. There's a lot of news stations outside the school waiting to talk to you," Flynn explains.

Willie sighs. "That's why."

"Fuck," Alex says. He twists in his seat to get up, but Willie's hand on his arm stops him. He looks at Willie.

"Hey. See if you can get out of lessons today. I think you deserve it. If you can, text me and I'll wait for you after school, we'll go do something that will get your mind off this shit, okay?"

Alex feels so overwhelmed with relief and love and joy—with Reggie's reaction, with Willie's care, with their friendship. He nods at Willie, and then stands up and collects his things. He leaves Flynn with Reggie and Willie and makes his way to Principal Lessa's office, which is on the other side of the building. To get there, he has to pass through the front wing, and through the front doors he can see multiple news vans parked in the normal student pick up lane. He groans to himself and carries on faster to the front office.

His grandmother and John make it to Principal Lessa's office within five minutes of him, and they quickly get down to business. They discovered that it was a leak from one of the college interns at the consulate—that she was at the Julie and the Phantoms show at Camelot and was talking about Prince Alex once she recognized him on stage. Unfortunately, one of those people she had spoken to had been a journalism student with a job at a local paper that had looked into the story, which—likely to the student's surprise—had actually checked out.

Through all of this Alex is surprised that he keeps his fragile composure, even though he can feel his heart pounding in his chest. It's just… the news breaking means eyes on him. And, well. He has to admit now that Julie was right, at least partially. He might still suck at giving speeches (but also probably not because he got an A on his speech when it was one on one with only him and Mr. Kullins) but really, the truth is he can't have people looking at him because he's scared of what they'll see. He's scared he'll let them down. He's scared they'll notice everything wrong with him. Fuck, he's scared they'll be able to know what he's thinking, just by looking at him. Half the time, _he_ wishes he didn't have to listen to his own thoughts, so even just the thought of other people knowing what he's thinking…

So, yeah. No surprise, Julie was right. She usually is, even if Alex likes to pretend that she's not at first. She knows it too, so at least he doesn't have to admit it to her.

It's been just about an hour since they all gathered when the bell rings to signal the end of what would have been Alex's public speaking class. His grandmother looks at Alex and clasps her hands together. "Well. Shall we see if police have escorted them away and get you out of here? We can get an early start on the 1800s history."

"I was actually gonna talk to you about that," Alex murmurs. "Uh—my friend wants to know—you know with. With my anxiety this has been a lot. So he suggested maybe skipping lessons today?"

Her face softens. "Oh, why Alexander, of course. I don't know why I didn't think of that. I'll call your driver and have him take you straight home."

"Oh," Alex frowns, "well, he actually—we actually thought we might. Just hang out a bit? Get my mind off of today? So he was going to drive me."

There's a long pause. "All right," she says. "As long as you don't go out anywhere too public, at least today, not without any security. Please, Alexander, for my peace of mind?"

"Oh, no, totally," he agrees. "We're probably just going to get tea and maybe get food. Sit in his car and talk about how this sucks."

His grandmother simultaneously pulls a face and laughs, and that's how he knows that he's growing on her, improper language and all. "All right then. I hope your afternoon with your friend helps," she says sincerely. She stands and turns to Principal Lessa. "Thank you greatly for allowing us to visit your school and use your office today."

Principal Lessa shakes her head. "It is not a problem. I am just sorry this happened. Please know that we will do everything we can to ensure that he is as safe as can be."

His grandmother smiles at her and then walks out of the office, followed closely by John. Alex is left sitting alone with his principal which—awkward. She gives him the choice of going back to class or hanging out in the front office for the last period of the day. Since his last class of the day is biology—which first, he enjoys and second, means he could potentially be missing something important—he opts to go back to class, but not before sending off a quick text to Willie, promising to meet him at the end of K wing after class.

Biology goes by quick and it's clear that no one in his class has seen the news yet, because not a single eye turns to him the entire class, aside from his late entrance. He can't say the same for the rest of the school, as he can feel a few eyes on him as he makes his way through the halls after class has ended. It's not the majority, not even close, but it's enough to be noticeable, enough to make Alex's skin crawl, heat creep up his throat, and spots dance in his vision. He tries his best to ignore them, but it's hard, especially when he hears his name a few times.

K wing is a reprieve. It's the least crowded wing in the entire school, and even though it leads to the student parking lot, since people who drive themselves don't have to rush, the flow of students leaving is slow and not all at once. Alex is grateful for the lack of stares, and pulls out his phone as he waits for Willie. Swiping through his phone, the typical list of suggested articles pop up and he freezes when he sees when he's not in not only one but _three_ of them. So, people in his biology class may not have known today, but they definitely will tomorrow, along with everyone else in all of his other classes, and everyone else that he passes in the halls. Alex felt sick dealing with the few stares he got today, how in the hell is he going to manage the entire school looking at him tomorrow?

Or, maybe he's just being really self-absorbed. Maybe they won't care. They might see it, read it, think 'oh, ha, what a nerd,' and write it off. They'll pass him and won't look at him because why would they care that he's a prince? It's not like they live in Beasiga. It's not like him being Prince of Beasiga impacts them in any way. So, yeah. Self-absorbed.

"Hey, hot dog."

Alex clicks his phone off and pushes it in his pocket, pushes his thoughts away. "Willie. Hey."

"You ready to go?"

"Yeah, I'm ready."

Alex figures that this is going to be like their Fridays, where Willie picks him up and sort of just—wings it as he goes, but as soon as he gets in the car he has a purpose. He drives them to Alex's favorite tea shop and, before Alex can even begin speaking to the cashier, asks for the order to go. When their tea is ready they start driving again, a fifteen-minute drive until they're at one of the hiking trails just outside of Los Feliz. Alex supposes it's just to give them something to do, or to keep them away from other people, he's not sure why Willie chose this, but he doesn't think Willie factored in the tea to the hike. The tea is hot in his hands while they walk so he has to keep passing it back and forth between them.

"See, with invisibility you could skate wherever you wanted within reasonable distance, but with teleportation you could skate in a lot more places _legally_ by just popping away," Willie explains, answering Alex's question about his reasoning for his choice of super powers. "So like, it'd _have_ to be one of those two for me, I'm just… I don't know which one."

"I feel like you'd get more added benefits beyond the skating perks with teleportation," Alex says. "Go on vacation whenever, break in places, no rush hour traf—"

"I'm sold. No rush hour? Down."

Alex watches Willie make an exaggerated motion with his hands and then kicks at the trail dirt. He smiles and turns away.

"What about you then?" Willie asks. "What's your super power?"

"I don't know," Alex admits. "Is there a super power where you just… don't get anxious?" Next to him, Willie laughs. "No, I… I'm not sure. Indestructibility might be nice. I… I, like, wanna die of old age. Not in a car crash or some freak accident."

"Nice. Fits with your brand."

"What brand?"

"Anxiety."

They keep talking—they talk most of the time, about weird encounters they've had in Downtown LA, about whether or not ghosts are real, but never about the news article—sorry, arti _cles_. And when it's silent it's nice, too. And then sometime later—he's not sure how much later because he hasn't looked at his phone once, but their teas are gone and thrown away in trailside garbage cans—they make it to a peak. They take a seat in the dirt right off the trail and in the distance he can see Downtown LA. Alex's legs are stretched out in front of him and he leans back on his hands, and Willie sits next to him, cross-legged. They're close enough that Willie's knee is pressing into Alex's thigh and Alex is trying not to think about that, because he still can't make sense of what has changed the past couple of weeks, of _how_ it's changed and _why_ it's changed—of the touches of the hand holding of the dates of the— _this was actually my parents first date, too_ —of the _too_.

"So what'd your grandma and, uh, her people say about all of this today?" Willie asks after a few minutes, finally broaching the subject.

Alex shrugs. "They weren't happy, obviously. It _was_ , uh. An intern from the consulate who did it. I feel bad, but it's just… I mean… it was just… everyone knew that the press wasn't meant to know, right? They had a briefing over that. And I don't know if she wasn't there for it or wasn't paying attention or if she just didn't care… But, yeah, a journalism student got her first published article in LA Times because of it, at least." Willie's eyebrows shoot up, mirroring Alex's exact initial reaction. "But, um. Grandma's really mainly concerned about my safety, you know? Lessa had to go over our school's security with her a few times for her to feel secure, and John asked to have someone from _his_ security team in the front office for anyone who visits throughout the day so they can vet them, which Lessa agreed to, but… I don't know. It _feels_ over the top, but… you didn't get to see it, but there were so many news vans outside the school today, man. It was wild. So maybe it's not over the top. It's—just. Man, this is just like the prince thing all over again. It feels like a joke, or like a dream, you know?"

"Yeah," Willie says, nudging Alex's shoulder with his. "How's your anxiety dealing with it?"

"Honestly? Not that great," he admits. "Julie made me realize that it's not so much public speaking I'm bad at as it is people… noticing _me_. And now? So many people are going to notice me and I don't know how to handle that. I've always been anxious, and then I became a prince. Which did not calm me down. Now, to add to that, the world now _knows_ I'm a prince. What do you think that's going to do for my anxiety?"

"Huh," Willie huffs. He looks over at Alex, tongue poking in his lower lip. His eyes drift from Alex out to looking at downtown LA, and then his entire demeanor changes. "I bet I know something that will help," he says, and in one quick motion hops to his feet. Alex watches him from where he's still sat in the dirt. Willie stares down at him with a maniacal grin on his face. "Yelling. on. a mountain." And then he throws his head back and screams.

Alex drops his jaw, whipping his head around. "Willie!" he gasps, reaching over and grabbing at the other boy's leg. "Willie—shh!" Willie stops, laughing, and looks back down at Alex. Alex stares up at him. "We're okay! Everything's okay!" Alex calls out as loud as he can.

"C'mon, man!" Willie encourages. "Ah!" he screams, much shorter than his first go. He nudges Alex with his foot.

Alex huffs. "Ahhhh," he breathes, sounding more like he's sinking into a hot bath than he is dropping off the top of a roller coaster.

Willie laughs, loud and open, and reaches down to grab the front of Alex's hoodie. "No, dude. You're doing this. Come on. Stand up. Spread your feet, brace yourself, take a deep breath. Ready?" Alex does everything Willie says and then bites his lip, hard. He can already feel the scream welling up inside him, ready to burst out. So when Willie screams at him, Alex screams back, and feels a pressure release somewhere deep inside him. When he cuts off, he already wants to do it again, so he does, and for much longer this time—this time, he screams until his lungs are screaming in their own way for air, and Willie screams right along with him. Tension that Alex didn't even know he had snaps and he feels like some lock inside of him has been broken. He's breathing hard and feels himself beaming at Willie, who has grabbed on to him at some point and is still holding him in his grip. Alex, in his current state of mind, really doesn't want Willie to let him go. And yet, Willie flashes his eyebrows and takes a step back, dropping Alex's shoulders in the process.

"Feels good, right?"

Alex grins. "Yeah. It does." And then. "Oh, my god." He looks around them again and yells, "we're okay! Everyone's fine!" In a normal voice he says, "there's going to be a news article later tonight about the search for two hikers who were screaming for help, isn't there? Because that's how my life is going."

Willie tosses his head back and laughs, and falls back to the ground. Alex joins him a second later, hesitating only because he's not sure if he should sit as close as they were initially sitting or not. He settles on a middle ground—sitting close enough that Willie could brush against him, but that he wasn't pressed against him. When he's settled back into the dirt, Willie starts the conversation back up. "I am excited to see what rumors might pop up about you though," he says with a waggle of his eyebrows.

Alex has a sudden thought. "What if they find out I'm gay?" Oh, god.

Willie frowns. "I thought you were only out to us?"

"I mean, technically, but there have been rumors at our school for—for _how_ long now?" Years. There have been rumors for years. And all it took was one person like that intern talking to the wrong person and passing that rumor along and then Alex will have to—have to ask Flynn to pretend to date him or something and— _no_ , god, no he can't do that, to himself or to her. "And like you just said, rumors are all the news need—and I don't—I don't want to have to deal with a fake girlfriend to get those rumors to go away, or, or—"

"Alex," Willie coos, gripping Alex's bicep tightly in his hand. "Alex, calm down. It'll all be okay. You won't have to. Okay?"

"But my parents," he says, realizing. Oh, god. It's not just the public he has to worry about. "My grandma—they don't, she doesn't—she doesn't know."

"That's okay," Willie says.

"She should know though. I'm just—I'm not… brave enough…" …but he can be.

He just screamed at the top of a mountain for the hell of it. It's not a very tall mountain, it's really much more of a hill, but that takes away from his point.

"Alex, what, of course you—"

"Willie?" Oh god. Whatever that lock that broke inside of him was, it was _really_ , truly broke. And there was no going back.

"Huh?"

He closes his eyes. Okay. He's doing this. This is a thing he's going to do. He's going to be brave. He's going to do this, and then he'll be brave enough to tell his grandmother, right? If he can do this he can do anything. He's going to do it. He is. Just in—3, 2, "I like you," he blurts out, and… it's out there. He did it. Some pressure in his shoulders releases but—but that's not all he has to say. "And like, before you say something dumb like 'I like you too, dude.' I just. I mean in the way that's probably closer to the way that means 'I'm in love with you' than anything else. So like. Maybe not I like you. Maybe I love you. I don't know. I'm not sure how that's supposed to feel but I've felt it for a long time, specifically towards you, and it's never gone away, and it's only gotten stronger, so maybe that's love, but maybe I just have a really big crush on you? I don't—"

He's cut off by—

Huh.

He's cut off by Willie kissing him.

Without hesitation, he kisses back, hands automatically reaching up to hold Willie's face, his thumbs tracing over Willie's cheekbones as their lips move against each other. Willie's knee presses way too hard into Alex's thigh, probably hard enough to leave a bruise, and Alex can feel Willie jostling back and forth, can feel his hand sliding along the dirt as he shifts his hand to change his position. It's a little awkward, but it's—

It's _good_.

Willie pulls back far too soon, but Alex can feel the grin spreading on Willie's lips against his, before they even part. Willie doesn't lean all the way back. He pushes their foreheads together and bumps their noses together. "Maybe I just have a really big crush on you, too," he says.

"Oh."

Willie laughs, and sits back then. "Alex?"

"Huh?"

"You know that means I love you too, right?"

"Oh. No."

"Alex?"

"Huh?"

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re half way through the heart of the fic now, because chapter 11 is an epilogue. 
> 
> Lessa didn’t try to be as overbearing as Gupta, but she was formal as fuck. She did not use a single contraction the entire time Louisa was in her office. She went back to her thesis writing days and whipped out her thesaurus mind and tried to impress Louisa. She even used some words that Alex and John and even Louisa didn’t know. When she said, “we will cogitate this matter and figure out the best course of action” everyone just smiled and nodded but no one knew what she was saying. 
> 
> They scream at the top of Glendale Peak. It’s not a mountain whatsoever but Willie and Alex call it a mountain bc it sounds cooler. (… ok _I_ call it a mountain bc it sounds cooler to write than ‘hill.’) 
> 
> I know some people might be disappointed in how “early” they get together in this fic, but this was never meant to be a fic where they didn't get together until the end. I always knew they were going to get together now, it was one of the first things I figured out. I knew we were going to see way more of their relationship after they were together than before. When I set out to write this fic, I set out to explore three things that are the driving forces of this fic:  
> a) Prince Alex and the journey he’d go on  
> b) what would get him through that journey—be it friends or therapy or stepping into himself or all of the above and  
> c) Willex, and the impact Willex would have going both ways (how Willex would impact Prince Alex, how Prince Alex would impact Willex).  
> I did the math and after posting this chapter there’s still roughly 23k words of story and then 9k words of epilogue (so about 32k words of overall fic left) to tell/finish telling these stories in. And remember: just because Alex and Willie are together now it _does not_ mean that their development is over. 
> 
> As for WHY it happened now… Alex is at a point where he’s both as vulnerable and as confident as he’s ever been, especially in this chapter. His secret that he didn’t even want his closest friends knowing was just revealed to the world and now he’s anxious that he’s going to be outed somehow too. _But_ the screaming not only released tension but also pumped him up, and he’s never been on such a high before (well, maybe, but not in recent history). Mix those two together, and put him with a) one of the people he trusts most in the world and b) the person he’s in love with and who has been more touchy-feely with Alex as of late and… it just comes pouring out. 
> 
> Come talk to me at [sunsetcurbed](https://sunsetcurbed.tumblr.com) on tumblr!


	6. been so long and now i'm finally free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sun has already set by the time they get back to the car and with a glance at his phone he sees two things. First, that it's already half past six and second, that he has… a lot of missed calls and texts.
> 
> "Oh," he says, before he even buckles his seatbelt. "Is the group harassing you too?"
> 
> Willie glances over at him with a confused look and then pulls out his phone. "Whoa, yeah. Wonder what that's about."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad y'all liked last chapter! Thank you all for the love, as always, it's appreciated! 
> 
> warning: there’s homophobia in this chapter, but it’s not like… explicit? It’s more implied. ... Sort of? Like, they’re homophobic, and obviously homophobia is homophobia, but they’re “trying” to be subtle about it. One of them thinks they’re not actually homophobic. There are no slurs, there’s no physical abuse. 
> 
> Chapter title from Finally Free by Julie and the Phantoms.

The sun has already set by the time they get back to the car and with a glance at his phone he sees two things. First, that it's already half past six and second, that he has… a lot of missed calls and texts.

"Oh," he says, before he even buckles his seatbelt. "Is the group harassing you too?"

Willie glances over at him with a confused look and then pulls out his phone. "Whoa, yeah. Wonder what that's about."

In skimming through the messages, Alex gets the gist of it—Luke is sorry, the group is worried about him, and after a while, they start to get worried about Willie as well. Before Alex can answer any of them, Willie has already sent the group text a message explaining that they were on a hike and hadn't looked at their phones. Within seconds, a message from each person in their group arrives, all variations telling them to come to the studio. Willie's eyebrows go up. He looks at Alex. "You up for it?"

Alex isn't sure if he is or not, but they're his best friends and he knows Luke is probably having a melt down, so he nods. Ten minutes later, Willie is pulling into the Molina's driveway. Reggie comes bouncing out of the garage, drumming his hands on the hood of Willie's car, and the two of them laugh as they unbuckle and get out.

"Hey, guys!" Reggie yells.

"Hey, man," Willie greets, walking towards him and tossing an arm around Reggie's shoulders, dragging him towards the studio, hurrying along fast enough that Reggie has to stumble to keep up. They're laughing as they go and Alex smiles as he watches. He follows behind them at a slower pace, so when he gets in the studio, Willie has let go of Reggie and is saying hi to the other three already. Alex looks from Flynn to Julie and then his eyes land on Luke, who is staring at him. He's sunken into the couch, eyes round and just on this side of miserable.

It's now going on seven hours since they've seen each other, and Alex knows the majority of that time, Luke has understood that Alex has no plans of leaving the band. And, well, Luke's first thoughts might always be music, but he also does genuinely care about people too. That's especially true for his band—for Alex, Reggie, and Julie. Alex knows that Luke is feeling guilty about the whole thing. He knows that the entire thing is behind them now, that Luke knows he's staying, that Luke knows Alex prioritizes the band too.

… He also knows that the band wasn't the only reason Luke was upset earlier.

Alex knows Luke. They haven't made it through eleven years of friendship on sheer luck.

"It's okay, dude," Alex says.

Luke laughs but it's not all there. "I'm still sorry."

"I didn't tell you guys, so. I'm sorry too."

"Yeah, well, _I'll_ forgive you if you say hi to William and Harry for me," Flynn says from where she's lounging.

" _Yes!_ " Willie whoops pumping his arms and twirling around.

Alex shakes his head. "Uh-uh. She didn't—"

"She called you Prince Charming at lunch," Reggie tells him.

"Oh. Well." Alex brings a hand up and scratches behind his ear, and looks at Flynn. "Thanks for that."

"Any time," she smirks.

"Why _didn't_ you tell us?" Luke asks, and there it is. The other reason Luke had been upset.

Because, well. If the band had been Luke's only concern, it likely would have ended in an argument at lunch, then and there. Luke was passionate about music and he fought for what he was passionate about. But him storming away today? That wasn't out of passion. That was out of pain. He had been hurt that Alex hadn't told him, had been hurt that there was something about Alex that he didn't know. After all, Luke had been Alex's _person_ for years. He was the first person that Alex came out to, the first person he turned to after a fight with his parents, the first person he went to for help. But that has changed lately. Since Luke got with Julie and since Alex's feelings for Willie developed further, the two of them had different _people_ now. It wasn't that they were any less close—not at all. They still told each other everything. They just weren't always the first to know, not anymore. But this… Luke hadn't known this _at all_.

"I… I didn't _want_ you to know," he admits while he stares at the ground, unable to see Luke's face as he admits this. " _I_ barely wanted to know about it. I mean, this lady shows up and tells me I'm a prince and that I've gotta learn how to act like one and learn the history and politics and culture of another country and—I didn't want to think about it, man. And I knew telling you guys would make it more… real. I didn't know if you guys would think it was funny or if you'd think it was weird. And—and even if we didn't talk about it you'd still _know_ and I'd still _know_ you knew and I'd be wondering what you were thinking so then I'd wanna talk about it not to talk about _it_ but to find out your thoughts and… it didn't have anything to do with you guys. I was just… I didn't know how to deal with it. I _don't_ know how to deal with it. So I just… didn't."

"You told Willie," Flynn points out with a raised eyebrow. Alex kind of wants to fight her right now because he's _trying to fix things with Luke, Flynn_ but he sees that Luke's shoulders are more relaxed now, so he thinks he's in the clear.

"I… I needed to talk to _someone_. And Willie—Willie—"

"What they have is _stronger_ ," Reggie quotes Willie from earlier. Everyone immediately ' _ooohs_ '.

Earlier, it was a joke. Earlier, it was Willie teasing Reggie. Earlier, it was wishful thinking.

Now?

Now Alex has to turn his eyes to the floor because he's scared his burning face is going to give him away and maybe Willie doesn't want that and—

Something grabs his hand. He jumps and looks down at his hand to see another hand in his. He follows the hand up, up the arm, over the shoulder, landing on the face of Willie. He's got a small smirk on, but he tilts his head to the side and bounces his eyebrows. Alex understands the question in the movements and turns towards him. Willie takes that as the answer he needs and brings his hand up to curl around Alex's neck and draws him in for a short, heartfelt kiss. The 'oohs' change to 'oh my gods' and Willie and Alex have to break apart because Alex starts laughing at Luke's high-pitched screech. Willie doesn't let go of his neck but he steps away. The smile one Willie's face is blinding and Alex is willing to bet his matches.

"Dudes, I thought that was a _joke!_ " Reggie yells.

"It was," Willie tells him, stroking the side of Alex's neck with a gentle thumb. "At lunch, anyway."

Their friends all start talking over one another and Alex laughs, moving with Willie to take a seat on the ground. When Julie demands to know how it happened, Willie smirks. "We went on a hike, screamed a bit, and then Alex told me how he felt and I kissed him."

" _Alex_ made the first move?" Luke asks, disbelieving.

" _Hey_ ," Alex frowns.

"No offense bro, but we've been waiting for years now and you haven't done shit. Excuse me for my surprise."

"You were friends with Julie for three and a half years before you made a move, I did it in two."

"Yeah well you've liked Willie since kindergarten," Reggie says.

Alex dives across Willie's lap to smack Reggie. "I didn't even know him in kindergarten!"

"But longer than ninth grade, at least," Luke says confidently. "Longer than two years."

Alex's face goes up in flames and he stares at the ground. He can see Willie looking at him out of the corner of his eye. "I didn't even _know_ him though, thinking he's cute doesn't count."

"How long have you liked Alex, Willie?" Reggie asks. Oh, god. Alex doesn't want to know. It's going to make him sound so much more pathetic.

Alex turns his head in time to see Willie look at Reggie and shrug. "A long time. Before I even really knew him I thought he was cute. Thank god he turned out to actually be as interesting as I had hyped him up to be."

"Really?" Alex asks, feeling his heart rate speed up. Hyped up? Willie had thought about him enough before they knew each other to have expectations?

Willie turns to him. Alex must have his anxiety written all over his face because Willie's eyes go soft and he smiles. "Yeah. The day I ran into you on the beach? With the hot dogs? I was actually looking for you. I'd seen you there already that day and I wanted to see you again, so I wasn't really paying attention to where I was skating because I was focused on trying to find you." He hums and knocks their shoulders together. "I did."

Oh.

"O… kay," Alex says, looking down at his hands and picking at the side of his thumb. He'd figured out what his feelings for Willie were in the sixth grade, and even at that age he knew that boys liking boys wasn't the majority. So he didn't hold out hope of Willie liking him back, even if sometimes his mind did like to pretend back then. When Willie came out to them when Alex was in ninth grade, Alex had already gone three years thinking ( _knowing_ ) that there was no way that Willie could like him back. But then in the few months of knowing Willie, Alex had come to realize that Willie was just entirely too good for Alex. In ninth grade, learning Willie liked boys didn't change Alex thinking ( _knowing_ ) Willie couldn't like him, even if sometimes he did like to hope. It just became for a different reason. So hearing that Willie _had_ liked him, and for 'a long time'… Alex wasn't sure what to do with that information.

He doesn't get too long to contemplate it (beyond the thought of 'what took us so long then?') because after the group throws a few more questions at Willie, they turn their attention to Alex.

"So what have you _really_ been doing after school? With the prince stuff?" Reggie wonders.

"I really _have_ been with my grandma. She's, uh… the Queen of Beasiga by the way. We're just… I call them prince lessons." Everyone laughs. Alex smiles. "They're… It's like etiquette lessons mixed with Beasiga lessons—history, politics, government, culture, economy—mixed with world politics lessons mixed with foreign language lessons."

"And… you do this on top of school?" Julie frowns, her face clearly concerned for Alex.

He nods. "Yeah, but my grandma is really considerate of my time. She even helps me with my history and econ homework most days and gives me extra information."

"What kind of things do you do?" Luke wonders.

"Well, most nights I eat dinner over there, right? But apparently my posture sucks so they tie me to my chair." The entire group laughs again and Alex laughs with them. "It's also just… a lot of studying. Uh… Let's see… Beasiga began by a charter during a war between its two neighboring countries in 1634 and formed into a country in 1715. They're a constitutional monarchy with a two-party system. Over half of their GDP can be accounted for through tourism. They haven't been involved in a war since the 1810s. They got rid of their army in the 1880s and signed treaties with other countries for foreign protection. Uh…" he looks at his friends, who he realizes asked what he did—not what he learned. "Um. I'm learning how to… carry myself? like a prince. We're working on emotional intelligence this week. Things like self-awareness and empathy and interacting with others. There's some dancing? Not the fun kind, though. Ballroom dancing."

They carry on like this until it's quarter until eight, at which point Alex can't ignore the hunger pangs in his stomach. He promises to discuss it more with them tomorrow if they want, or that they can text him if they have any pressing questions, and then he and Willie take their leave.

He expects that to be the end of a stress filled day, but when they pull up to Alex's house, one of the Beasigan limos is parked on the street out front.

"I would offer to let you come in since we haven't actually eaten dinner," Alex murmurs as Willie turns in the driveway, "but I have no idea what's going on inside. I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Willie says. He reaches over and twines their fingers together and squeezes. Alex looks over at Willie. Willie smiles and leans in. They'd kissed a few more times on the hike, and then the once at Julie's, so it feels natural now for Alex to meet Willie half way. They keep the kiss short—they're in a car outside of his house and his family is inside, and they don't know he's gay, so. Plus, something royal might be happening inside if the limo is anything to go by, so it's not the time to be pushing even if he wants to. Willie is the first to pull away (Alex thinks it's probably because he's the one with better self-control) and when he leans back in his seat he lets go of Alex's hand and smiles. "You should get inside. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Uh, yeah," Alex says. He sends one last look at Willie, says bye one last time, and then grabs his bag and gets out of the car. Willie waits in his driveway until Alex has unlocked his door and is inside, and then he backs out of the driveway and drives off. Alex closes the door behind him, dropping his backpack on top of the shoes he has just toed off, and wanders into his house. "Mom? Dad?" he calls.

"In here," his dad calls from the dining room.

He follows the voice through the rooms of the house until he's standing in the entrance of the dining room where he finds his parents, his siblings, his grandmother, and John sitting around their expanded dining room table. They all have plates in front of them, either empty or nearly empty. It looks like Chinese and Alex takes a moment to be surprised that his grandmother would eat take away Chinese food. Then he realizes she probably didn't plan her visit, and they had to order take out, and Chinese was a better option than pizza. "Hey," he says. The group all calls out a greeting.

"Alexander," his grandmother says. "We were just discussing the events of today and ideas for security going forward. We're going to see how the next few days play out and go from there."

"Sounds good," he says. "Is there any more of that? I haven't eaten."

"Yes, in the kitchen," his mom nods towards the kitchen, and Alex goes at once to make himself a plate. He's back, taking a seat at the table next to John after a minute, and bites his lip. "Mom, Dad, Grandma? Can I talk with you before Grandma leaves tonight?"

His grandmother looks at the clock on the wall. "It's getting quite late. Will it take long?"

"Uh… no. No. Just—"

John clears his throat and excuses himself from the room, clearing all the empty plates. He takes them through to the kitchen and turns on the sink to start rinsing them off.

"Ava, Austin," his mom calls, getting his siblings' attention. "Why don't you two go to your rooms? You each get half an hour of Switch time."

No more needed to be said—they were out of their seats and running out of the room as soon as she said the word 'Switch.' Alex snorts, and looks down at his full plate of food. He debates taking a bite because he's absolutely starving, but he'd rather not be talking with his mouth full for this.

"So—with this news thing, there's going to be rumors, right?"

"We'll take care of all of those," his grandmother says, shaking her head. "You don't need to worry."

"Well—I. I'm not overly worried. I mean, rumors are rumors, right? You can just prove them false, right? Someone says I do drugs, I take a drug test. Someone says I'm not really my father's son, you guys have the paternity test," he says. "I'm not really worried. And like, I'm not really worried about what I'm about to say either because there's not really any malicious people at my school, even if there are rumors about me. I don't think anyone would go to any news source and talk about those rumors either, especially because they only know them to be rumors. The chances of this getting out are slim to none. But, I'm sixteen and—and—" and Willie "—and I've been learning a lot in prince lessons. And part of that is confidence. And part of confidence for me is being brave, which… I have, historically, not been. But today I was. And—I'm trying to be right now? It's harder. It's always harder in the moment. But—well, yeah, I'm gay."

Alex wants to make some astute observation about the silence that follows his declaration, but he can't, because it only lasts a second or two. Rather than stretching on like he thought it would, it breaks quickly because his grandmother smiles and says, "why, Alexander, thank you for telling us."

Alex looks at her, head turning a little too quick for his neck's liking and blinks. "You—you're okay with this?"

"Well, why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know, I just. Well, not everyone is. And I thought you—"

"Now that the world knows you are a prince, I was going to invite you to a dinner we're having at the consulate next Thursday," his grandmother says, and Alex closes his mouth from where it was formed around his next word, confused at the sudden subject change. "It's a very important dinner and many members of our government will be there. Perhaps you can meet our Prime Minister, Jeffry Marley. And his husband."

Alex feels like _something_ in the air has changed.

Beasiga's Prime Minister is gay? Is openly married to a man?

He blinks, looks down at his plate again, but he's not really hungry anymore. He thinks. One of his biggest hold ups about being Prince of Beasiga was the fact that he was gay. He didn't think that he could be Prince due to his sexuality, or at least didn't think the people would accept him because of it.

The monarch—his grandmother—appoints the Prime Minister, not the people, so… "And how do the people feel about Jeffry?"

"Oh, wonderfully," his grandmother waves him off, as if him asking is a ridiculous question. "We were among the first to legalize same-sex marriage—it has been legal in Beasiga since 2005. Our citizens are plenty happy with our leaders, and they would be plenty happy with you, as well."

That… That's…

Alex can't think about that right now.

He turns to his parents. "Mom, Dad?"

His dad is staring at the table and nods at him in acknowledgement, and his mom is looking at him with a smile, but he knows her well enough to know that it's not… it's not a smile. His stomach sinks. "Of course you know we love you, sweetie," she says. He's not sure if his grandmother can hear the tension in her voice, or if it's something that takes years to tune into. But he can hear it. "Thank you for telling us."

"Yeah, of course," he says, but the building good mood he had a minute ago has gone to shit with their dismissal.

"Well, then," his grandmother says, noticing the souring of the mood. "I think it's time for John and I to go. Alexander, I trust I'll see you tomorrow, all well? … after the day you've had?"

He blinks. He's pretty sure she's asking if he's safe to be left here. "Yeah. I'll be there tomorrow, fine and ready to learn about Beasiga in the 1700s."

"Good, I'm glad. Well…"

"I'll show you out," his dad says, standing up from the table and walking towards the kitchen to where John was, not sparing a glance in Alex's direction.

"I will see you tomorrow, Alexander," his grandmother says before following his dad.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow," he calls back. When she's gone, he finally takes a bite of his food, but there's no taste to it, which is shocking for the fact that it's Chinese food and Chinese food is always flavorful. He doesn't think it's an issue with the food, but instead his brain. His stomach needs food though, so he shovels it in, bite after bite, not stopping even as he hears the front door open and close, even as he hears the doors of the car outside open and close, and not even as he hears his dad slam the bedroom door. Alex sees him mom flinch at that last one and sighs. "You wanna go join him? Slam some bathroom cabinets closed to get some of that anger out while you're at it?"

Her head snaps up and she looks at him. "I'm not—I'm not _angry_."

Alex scoffs. "Sure."

"I'm not!"

"Right," Alex nods. "You're _not_ angry. He is. _You're_ disappointed."

She opens her mouth, leaning forward, ready to say something, and Alex braces himself, but the words never come. She falls back into her seat. She mumbles something under her breath that Alex doesn't quite catch and he frowns.

"What?"

She furrows her eyebrows together. "It's all going _wrong_ ," she repeats. Alex reels back, stunned. She barely takes notice, barreling on. "Thing after thing in your life, it all just keeps piling on and I don't know when it's going to stop. When you were in seventh grade you _loved_ math and science and you wanted to be like Mike, do you remember? We started planning for Stanford or Yale or, hell, even Berkeley if you couldn't get into one of those. But then you got more serious about the drums. And then… then you and your friends made that band. And you got into Los Feliz, so how could we say no? It's still a top school. But then you started talking about gigs and tours and albums and… Alex, you've done great with the band, really. So we thought—maybe you'd put college on hold for a few years to pursue your music, but then you'd go back." She nods to herself assuredly, and looks up at the ceiling, drawing in a deep breath. "And then your dad dies. Not having had any other children, leaving you the heir to the throne of Beasiga. Something he and I had every intention to avoid for you, because I… I didn't want you growing up in that life. I didn't want you growing _into_ that life. Into a prince and then a king who would be all about a country and not about himself and have no room to live your own life. And then that man has to show up claiming his right to the throne, so your grandmother has to contact you early. Throws off your entire junior year. It puts you in a position where you have to choose if you actually want to be prince or not. You're not mature enough to make that choice! You just got your driver's license this summer. And now—now you won't even get a normal family."

Alex stares across the table at his mom, completely unsure of what to say. There's a lot to unpack there, and there's a lot that he wants to argue with her on. He's about to start when—"What do you mean a man showed up wanting the throne?"

"What do you mean?"

"I _mean_ , what are you talking about? You said something about a man claiming a right to the throne," Alex reminds her. "What was that about?"

"Oh," his mom says. "I'm not sure if I'm meant to tell you about that if you don't already know."

"Well I know _now_ , so tell me."

She looks at him and sighs. "There's a man in Beasiga who, if you renounce your claim, is next in line for the throne. I don't know much about him, but he's… pushy, and he's been pressing your grandmother about you. It's why she decided to tell you before your eighteenth birthday."

"Do you know his name?"

"Covington, I think," she says. "Why is this so important?"

Well. That's a good question. "I just think I deserve to know these things," he makes up. "You guys hid enough from me for sixteen years." This is something he needs to think more on, though. He stands up from the table and carries his plate towards the kitchen. When he's at the exit of the dining room, he turns back to his mom. "By the way, mom. I will get to have a normal family. Unless I choose to become prince. Then, _only_ then, maybe my normal will be a little different." He moves to the sink to rinse off his plate, not bothering to give his mom time to answer.

It's when he's rinsing the sauce and rice off the plate that he starts to think about what really just happened. Coming out to his parents and grandmother, finding out the country he could potentially be prince of is pretty fucking progressive and would accept him, being all but shut down by his parents, finding out that there was someone ready to take the throne should he step down, and then—

 _Unless I choose to become prince_.

He didn't say that for his mom's benefit.

He slots his plate into the dishwasher and grabs his backpack from by the front door, then makes his way to his room. He closes the door behind him and moves to his bed, falling down on it and pulling out his unfinished homework so he can complete it.

 _Unless I choose to become prince_.

Where the _fuck_ did that come from?

Okay, yeah, being gay was one of his biggest arguments against accepting his role as prince. Before tonight, he never could have dreamed of it. Before tonight, he couldn't even come out to his parents, how was he expected to come out to an entire country? But… but after tonight… He came out to his parents. And his parents didn't react well. And Alex—he's anxious, yeah, but he's not panicking. And Beasiga is apparently a lot more accepting than Alex's parents, so coming out to that country isn't as scary anymore. Hell, coming out to the world isn't as scary anymore—his parents are the ones in a position of power over Alex, at least immediately, and they're just quiet, angry, and disappointed.

Did Beasiga's progressive views really change his stance on being a prince _that_ much?

No, he doesn't think so.

Covington was also a factor.

Sure, Alex doesn't know much about the man—doesn't know _anything_ about the man—but if his grandmother felt pressured by anyone, well, that can never be a good sign. He's gotten to know her quite well over the past couple of weeks and she's not one to back down. She'd gotten into an argument with him over _his own lyrics_ and refused to accept his word when he pulled the 'I wrote the song' card. Alex knows it's not just that he is easy to go up against, because he's seen her in meetings with diplomats from other countries. She's like the goddess of reasoning Athena—but her reasoning isn't actual reasoning, it's just an impossibility to argue against her. So someone forcing her hand… Well, Alex feels threatened. There's no way this Covington man can be a good person, and he suspects that's why his grandmother had come on so strongly at first. She's scared for her country.

Is that enough for Alex, though?

He's thinking about it now, he admits that much. He can't _stop_ thinking about it. The thing is: the prince lessons are working. He can not only eat with correct posture and the correct utensils at a meal now, but he's also learning more and more about Beasiga and its history and is genuinely enjoying his time doing so. He's noticed his confidence has gone up. He's even started speaking with a different cadence to his voice. The care he has for the Beasigan people he's heard and read about and had the opportunity to meet and talk to is overwhelming and he wants to be a part of their lives, wants to improve their lives. He has _ideas_ to improve their lives, _good_ ones that his grandmother has heard and approved of. All the things his grandmother is trying to instill in him are showing up, but there are still two very obvious issues.

Number one: he's in a band. He can't leave that band. He literally just promised that band he would not be leaving them. He doesn't _want_ to leave the band. He loves playing the drums, loves singing, loves making music with his friends. Wednesdays and Saturdays are the best days of the week and he could never dream of giving those up.

Number two: two and a half weeks ago he stood in front of a room of twenty students to give a speech and nearly passed out as a result. Public speaking is still a part of being a prince, and being in front of crowds is still a thing that he can't do. Of course, now that he's actually listened to Julie, he knows it's more the whole… attention thing when he's alone, not the speaking thing, but. Being a public figure involves attention.

He supposes he can bring it up with his therapist—after all, he sees her tomorrow afternoon—and see if she has any suggestions about overcoming that, but…

Why is he thinking about this?

What changed so drastically from this afternoon at lunch, when he was positive in telling Reggie that he'd made his mind up, to now, when he was considering asking his therapist for tips to help him so he could maybe be a prince? What made him go from scoffing at the idea of ruling a country to figuring out ways to make it possible? Why was he considering taking such a huge leap in his decision all of the sudden?

And then he remembered.

The lock.

The lock that broke somewhere inside him today.

He's not sure what the hell it had been holding back, but whatever it was is open and free now and Alex isn't sure if he's scared or excited about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luke was just a sad dude. Like, okay, first thought was yeah, “wait, what about the band?” But second thought and the bigger, more lasting thought was: here’s this massive thing about his best friend and he… doesn’t know it? He has to find it out from the _LA Times?_ And then—and THEN—does that mean his best friend is leaving him? His best friend is moving away? Forget leaving the band, his best friend is leaving _him?_ He’s hurt. Listen—he processes emotions _well_ but he doesn’t process them _quickly_.
> 
> More on Willie’s crush: He’s just as much a disaster as Alex, maybe even more so because he doesn’t have anxiety backing his, he has ADHD and chaos. So he remembered Alex from elementary school, but he didn’t have, like, a lasting interest in him like Alex did. But then, as they got older, he started seeing him around the beach more. He went from recognizing him to thinking ‘oh, he’s cute.’ And then he saw him in the halls and... So—Alex had gotten his attention. He’d hear Alex laugh and try to imagine what would make him laugh—maybe they had similar senses of humor. Or he’d see his drum sticks in his back pocket and wonder if he’d ever let Willie mess around on the drums or if he was one of the people who was over protective that Willie would offend just by asking. Or he’d hear him talking about a show as they passed each other and want to ask his opinion on it, because Willie had watched that show too and the writers did a really good job with the plot twist, didn’t they? So. He was just curious.
> 
> When he saw him at the beach the Sunday to begin the second week of school that year, he kept skating loops to see him again. He had nothing else to do. But then when he skated by again, Alex was gone, even though his friends weren't. So Willie turned and looked for him, and DID find him. Just not with his eyes. After they got their yelling and apologies out of the way, Alex noticed who Willie was.
> 
> Willie got to ask about the plot twist of that show AND he made Alex laugh. He’d figure out a way to ask about the drums later on. But he found his way seamlessly into their group after that, showing up to their table at lunch the next day after vaguely mentioning that he might sit with them. (He had planned to, 100%.) He was pretty much only with his other friends at the skate park after that. He was with Alex’s group before school, at lunch, after school, on the weekends. He went to their band practices just to hang out and offer critique.
> 
> He found out about Alex’s anxiety pretty early on when Alex has a panic attack. Willie felt absolutely helpless and watched the group handle it calmly and thought: how? And he started researching—like full academic journals printed and highlighted—anxiety and panic disorder and panic attacks and anxiety attacks and exercises. It became a hyper fixation and focus for him so much that he would miss dinners and forget to do homework. And then he talked to Alex and he kept a list in his phone.
> 
> Alex came out to him when Willie was a junior and Alex was a sophomore. It was the beginning of the year and they’d been friends for a year. Alex said he usually waited longer to tell people but that he trusted Willie entirely and it felt wrong with him being a part of their group and not knowing. Willie originally felt hopeful, thought maybe he could tell Alex about his feelings, but then he thought: no??? Alex just said he trusts you??? Don’t break that trust by making him uncomfortable??? As time went on, he started to suspect more and more that Alex DID return his feelings, but he still wasn’t sure. Willie wasn’t sure if he was projecting, but he also wasn’t sure that… he wasn’t.
> 
> Willie’d never had an SO before because he just… wasn’t interested in anyone until Alex, truthfully. Well, yeah there were passing interests, of course there were. But he’d never held a romantic interest in someone for longer than a few months. The one with Alex had just kept going and getting longer and more intense. But, see, he always heard the story of his parents first date and thought: I want that. Because his parents were best friends before they were husband and wife. They still talked about their first date and Willie associated the Venice Canals with good things because of that. So he knew if he ever got the courage to ask Alex out, that’s where he’d take him.
> 
> And then Alex said “date” in the car, and Willie… he used that ADHD impulsivity and jumped.
> 
> Alex doesn’t think Venice Canals was actually a date, and he’ll fight that it wasn’t because he didn’t know that it was. But Willie… Willie says that it absofuckinglutely was a date and he’ll fight that it _was_ because I CALLED IT A DATE A THOUSAND FUCKING TIMES ALEXANDER.
> 
> (shout out to the anon who asked if venice canals was actually a date and i gave a vague answer: there’s the true answer.)


	7. all the focus on me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stares don't start until a couple hours in the next day. Everyone is too tired in the morning to be paying attention in the hallways. On the way to econ though, after meeting up with Luke and Flynn, he can see people stop and double take when he walks past, he can feel the eyes on him, hear the whispers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always! Y'all are my faves. 
> 
> warnings: the very first scene is a panic attack described as the feeling of drowning. later on a character voices past worries about being followed. 
> 
> If you don't want to read the panic attack, ctrl + F "Alex sits up" and go from there. 
> 
> Chapter title from All Eyes on Me by Savannah Lee May? Carrie Wilson? Julie and the Phantoms?

The stares don't start until a couple hours in the next day. Everyone is too tired in the morning to be paying attention in the hallways. On the way to econ though, after meeting up with Luke and Flynn, he can see people stop and double take when he walks past, he can feel the eyes on him, hear the whispers. A pressure starts building in the middle of his forehead and there's acid in his throat. Luke and Flynn notice when he starts to lag behind them, his eyes focused on the floor, even though they're not _really_ focused on the floor because everything is kind of… blurred and hazy. He thinks he's stopped walking by this point. He can still feel the eyes on him.

"Heeey," Luke's voice sings, coming up on Alex's right. "Hey, buddy, I'm gonna grab your arm so I can take you over to the wall, okay?" Alex thinks he nods. He still feels the eyes on him. Luke gets him to the wall and presses his back against it and tells him to sit down. Alex slides down until his butt hits the ground then closes his eyes. He draws his knees up to his chest and even though he can't feel the eyes anymore, he can remember the whispers over the rushing of the blood in his head. His throat burns. "Hey, Alex," Luke says, close to Alex's ear. "I'm gonna count for you, and I need you to breathe with the numbers, okay?" He then starts in on one of Alex's breathing exercises, and Alex goes with it, even if he can't quite make it to eight on the exhale because he doesn't have enough breath and his chest burns with the lack of air. Oh, god. He doesn't have enough breath. He draws in a deep, gasping breath to fill his lungs but it doesn't feel like enough. He can't get enough—it's not enough—there's not enough—

He doesn't remember going under water, but he's drowning now. He doesn't know when he got here. He doesn't know _how_ he got here. He doesn't know where the surface is and how to swim up to it. He feels weighted down. His limbs are heavy and—and he can't even feel his fingers. Oh, god. He can't feel his fingers. He tries wiggling them but nothing happens—nothing except an increase of noise under the water. He vaguely registers his heart beating in overtime, trying to keep up with his body. His body is trembling, of that much he's sure, but it's not disturbing the water around him, because there are no ripples, there are no waves. He's shaking but everything around him is calm.

"Alex, can you hear me?" Alex lifts his head and opens his eyes—the water got into his eyes. Either that or he's crying—to see two people in front of him. One is crouching beside him and one is standing in front of him and holding her backpack on the side that the other isn't on, blocking him from sight of anyone who might pass. Alex draws in another breath, filling his lungs as full as they'll go. "Can you hear me, Alex?" Alex looks at him. Luke. He looks up at the girl. Flynn. He nods. "Sweet. Can you tell me five things you can see?" Backpack, board, locker, garbage, orange. "Orange? Wh—oh, my hoodie, yeah. All right, four things you can feel?" Dirt on floor, wall against back, rings on fingers—didn't he not have fingers?—, shoes against toes. "Three things you can hear?" Luke's voice, desks moving around, and the front office phones ringing. "Two things you can smell?" The chemicals from the bathroom right behind them, his Old Spice deodorant. "And what about taste?"

Alex sits up straighter. "I'm good now," he says.

"Uh-uh," Luke shakes his head. "You've got one more. You're finishing this, come on. Please."

"Mint, from my gum earlier."

"Good, buddy," Luke praises. "How you feeling?"

"Like shit," he admits.

"Do you want to go to the nurse?" Flynn asks.

"No. No. He can't do anything. All he ever does is has me sit there for a few minutes and then sends me back to class anyways."

"We could go to the front office instead then," she tries. "They could call your mom or dad—"

"No," Alex shakes his head. "I don't—I don't. I don't want to bother them. I'll be fine."

"They're your parents," Flynn frowns. "You wouldn't be bothering them."

"We can just skip econ," Luke says. "Go hang out in the music room, Mrs. Harrison would let us. We've already missed the first fifteen minutes. And Mrs. Lewis would understand why we skipped too, she's chill."

"I… I couldn't…"

"Yes you could," Flynn says, "and you are. You need a _break_ , Alex. If you won't go to the nurse and won't go to the front office, then we're doing this."

Flynn and Luke drag him across the school to the music room where Mrs. Harrison is setting up for the lesson. When Flynn explains what happened, Mrs. Harrison offers to email Mrs. Lewis and explain the situation, so Alex relaxes. She gives the three of them free reign and Alex makes his way immediately to the drums. He's exhausted, but the drums are his happy place. The drums will rejuvenate him. He starts out with a steady beat, trying to give his heart something to follow, and then starts to add on to it. Luke joins in on the guitar and then Flynn on the trumpet, and they have a small jam session, just the three of them. It almost makes him completely forget that he'd just been drowning for the better part of fifteen minutes.

He manages to make it the rest of the day without another panic attack despite all the eyes on him. His friends all walk him to class, even though he doesn't have public speaking or biology with any of them, and he's grateful for that. But by the time he makes it to the consulate that afternoon, he's still mentally and physically exhausted. It's Tuesday, so his first thing to do is therapy, and he's… not exactly looking forward to that. He is planning to ask about how to overcome his anxiety so he has a chance at being prince if he decides, but after today, he's not sure if that's even possible. But, according to his therapist it is.

"Right, we'll get to that, but you told me the other day that you think your friend Julie had a good point about your social anxiety, can you remind me what that was?" his therapist, Tessa, asks.

"Uh—she thinks, when people are looking at me with the band, or with other people, I don't get anxious, or as anxious, because I think people are perceiving me in relation to the people I'm with, and I think they're seeing me as I see the people I'm with. But when people are looking at me as me, they're looking at me how I look at myself."

"And how do you look at yourself?"

Alex snorts. "Badly?"

"What do you mean by 'badly'?"

"Just… I'm anxious, I worry about things that normal people don't worry about and I have fears that normal people don't fear and I'm wired really tight. And I'm boring—I feel like I'm not interesting and all I talk about is music, and now Beasiga, and sometimes school, and the books I'm reading which are someone else's thoughts, not mine. I have weird thoughts, like those weird fears I mentioned and just… weird things running through my head that I wouldn't want to tell other people and I constantly worry that I'm accidentally going to say one of those weird things but I also feel like people somehow know what I'm thinking anyways like they can read my mind? And then I can be mean to good people, like when I met my grandma I just… I ran out on her and I didn't even give her a chance, y'know? And I make snarky comments at my friends sometimes that sometimes can cross a line and I don't mean to, I just… I don't have as much patience as I feel like everyone else has? And I'm gay, which isn't… that's not bad but some people think it is so sometimes I hate that I am, especially because my parents aren't okay with it. I say things that sometimes make me sound stupid or just… absolutely wild, and I always feel out of place, like everyone else belongs and I just don't have a reason to be there. … And my friends are _such_ better people than me that I'm not sure how I ended up being friends with them," he says, the words tumbling from his mouth with barely any thought.

Tessa nods, and Alex wants to laugh. Anyone else that he unloaded that on would have stared at him with concern and maybe asked if he was okay, but she just. She just _nods_. "So you value your friends very much?"

"Very much."

"And their opinions?"

"Yes."

"And yet you question their choice to have you as a friend?"

Alex frowns. "Not… not exactly? I just… More like I don't know how I got so lucky."

"But you value their opinions."

"Yes," he says, cautious now.

"So if your friends have chosen to be friends with you, they must see something in you, much like you see something in them, meaning they think very highly of you as well. And if you value their opinion, then… perhaps you should ask their opinion on you, and put some stock in that," she suggests. "Perhaps start viewing yourself as they see you instead of… _badly_."

Alex frowns. All the negative thoughts about his friendships creep into his brain at her suggestion: what if they're just friends with him because they don't know how to break it off? What if they lie to him? What if they're only friends with him to use him for the band? What if they're just genuinely too nice of people that they let him stick around?

He shakes his head.

If there's one thing he knows, it's that his friends love him. For fuck's sake, Willie and him just started dating, and Willie easily could have just turned him down or walked away instead of kissing Alex. It's cruel of Alex to think so negatively of his friends, and his stomach twists with the thought of them ever finding out. They'd be hurt at his lack of trust, which is that last thing he wants.

"And what, it's that simple?" Alex asks her. "I ask my friends how they see me and then I stop having panic attacks when people look at me?"

"No, not even close," Tessa says. "That's just a starting point. No, you have to learn to recognize what's happening, realize why it's happening, and then find the coping mechanisms to reevaluate the situation in real time." Alex stares at her and tilts his head. "Take today for example," she says. "If you had these skills you would have been able to _recognize_ you were panicking because of the staring and whispering, _realize_ it was because you thought people were looking at you critically, and then _reevaluate_ —tell yourself that people were looking at you because of the news articles and their stares were out of curiosity rather than judgment."

"That… makes sense," Alex says.

"Another skill would be exposure therapy, which I think you're going to be getting whether you like it or not, even if it's not exactly… monitored or traditional. But a lot of eyes are going to be on you, and while it's going to die off soon enough—they're high schoolers, they lose interest quick—, use it to your advantage. When you start to feel overwhelmed, recognize what is going on, realize why, and reevaluate the situation that you're in. And don't get frustrated if it doesn't work the first time, or even the first few times. It's a learning process, and it _will_ take time."

He surprises himself the next day when he stops a panic attack in its tracks, needing no help from his friends. His anxiety is still there, but even when he sees a girl point and her three friends turn around and look at him, it remains _only_ anxiety. Once that anxiety does happen to pass, it leaves him on a high, so high that he looks at Willie at lunch and asks, "you're out to the entire school, right?" and when Willie says yes, Alex kisses him. When he pulls away, Willie is absolutely fucking beaming. They kiss a few more times throughout lunch, and then in the hallway after lunch, and people are staring at Alex again but Alex thinks: people aren't staring at him to judge him, they're staring at him because he kissed Willie. And isn't that awesome? He'd stare at whoever was kissing Willie, too.

The next two school days pass uneventfully, despite all the eyes on him. He has a few close calls with anxiety attacks, but no panic attacks, and either his friends or his new coping methods are always there to keep him breathing steady. The only other noteworthy thing that happens is that his dad has actually starts speaking to him again by Thursday—no mention of Alex's coming out on Monday, though. Alex thinks he expected this, to be honest. See, his mom thinks that because she's not calling him every slur in the book or kicking him out that she's not being homophobic. She thinks that she's being supportive. She had said the other day "just because I support you doesn't mean I have to be okay with your choice" even though she… clearly did not support him. Still, she still loved him even if she didn't support him, and that's more than a lot of kids who came out to their parents got, so Alex… he dealt with it. But… his dad.

Alex knows Mike, and he knows that he's going to ignore it, and then maybe find a girl to set Alex up with. The subtle 'I'm telling myself I've forgotten about this but I haven't actually at all, I'm just pretending it never happened' classic Mike move. He's done it before, and Alex knew he'd try it in this case if given the chance, so he is hoping to get the chance to introduce him to Willie sooner rather than later. Chances are he'll stop talking to Alex again, but at least Alex will be able to be with his boyfriend without the looming threat of being set up with a girl. (He's not sure when he stopped caring about having the man he viewed as his dad in his life, but he's pretty sure it probably started the night he walked away from Alex's coming out without a word.)

When seven pm comes around Friday night and it's time for Alex and Willie's date, their first date where Alex will actually be able to kiss Willie, Alex is all too eager to hurry out the consulate's front door to Willie's Honda as it pulls up and jump in the front seat. Just—he's a little confused this time, because as he puts his bag at his feet, he notices Willie turning the keys and pulling them out of the ignition. Alex looks over at Willie.

Willie sighs. "Can we go talk to your grandma?"

Alex doesn't know how to reply, so he's left stammering out, "uh, y-yeah. Yeah! C'mon."

They both get out of the car and Alex leads him to the door. Alex watches as Willie gets patted down by security and waved through, and then grabs his hand to take him back to the library where he had just been with his grandmother. He hopes she's still there.

Thankfully, she is, and when they reach the library, she looks up from her book. Her eyes widen. "Alexander! I thought you'd left. And who is this?"

"I'm Willie, ma'am—er, Your Majesty," Willie greets, stepping forward without thought. Only Alex's hold on his hand keeps Willie from going any further ahead.

His grandmother gets up and walks over to them. "Oh, you're Alexander's friend—" she dips her eyes down to their hands "—boyfriend?" Willie nods. "No need for the formalities, dear. Louisa is fine. William, you said your name was?"

"Uh, Willie."

"Willie," she repeats back. "I'm thankful to meet you."

"Me too," Willie nods. "But there's, uh, there's actually a reason?" Alex tightens his grip on Willie's hand. Willie squeeze's back and Alex isn't sure if it's reassurance or if it's grounding Willie.

"Oh?"

"Yeah," Willie nods. "I wanted to talk to you and Alex both at the same time. I might have just had Alex tell you about it, but I wanted your opinion too, so, I just—I'm sorry, can we sit?"

"Of course," she says, and motions over to the couches in the corner. "Sit wherever you'd like." The three of them migrate over and take their seats, and then his grandmother returns her attention to Willie. "You were saying?"

"I was in Hollywood this afternoon running an errand for my mom and a man approached me. He didn't approach me like a stranger though, he knew my name. Or, he said, 'Willie, right?' I didn't know him. I still don't, but—I didn't really know how to get away. I couldn't just tell him to uh… uh… go away. I didn't want to be rude. And we were in public, so I wasn't in danger," Willie says this with a squeeze of his hand, and Alex knows it's for him. The more Willie has been talking about the situation, the more anxious Alex has been getting. Willie clears his throat and continues. "But he started asking me some stuff about Alex, like personal stuff about who he was as a person and his family life… And then some stuff about Alex and Beasiga. He started getting… _really_ specific about Beasiga too—like stuff that I only know because Alex has told me. I was as vague as I could be, I didn't even answer most of them, I promise. But, he was really pushy. He wanted to know, really bad, to the point where he was nearly bribing me? Something about skating the streets of Hollywood? Which, yeah he might have just said because I was literally skating the streets of Hollywood, but… It… I know there are obsessive people out there, I do, but what I don't know is how to handle them. Especially not when it comes to someone else. I know because I'm connected to Alex the things I do could be connected back to him, so I can't just… be rude to people. I mean, not that I would want to be. But, I don't know what to do in these situations."

"I'm so sorry," Alex murmurs, turning to face Willie and putting his free hand on Willie's knee.

Willie turns to look at him. "No—don't be. It's not your fault, okay?"

"Yes it is—"

Willie lifts his hand to Alex's face and brushes his thumb along his cheekbone. "No. It's not. Now be quiet. I'm here to speak with Louisa." He drops his hand and turns back to Alex's grandmother. "Do you have any… _advice?_ on how to deal with this in the future?"

"Yes, I do," she says, "but first, was the man who approached you in a suit?"

Willie nods. "Yeah."

"Did he have a rather extravagant jacket? With crystals embedded in it?"

Again, Willie nods, this time with narrowed eyes. "Yes…"

"That was Mr. Covington, I'm afraid." Alex feels his hand clench reflexively around Willie's. Willie whips his head around to look at Alex, but Alex is focused on his grandmother. His grandmother stands up and walks over to a shelf on the far side of the library. She pulls a book off the shelf and makes her way back. "Alexander, we haven't covered the Covingtons yet, but they're a grand family, and an important family in our country's history. Beyond the Mercers, the Covingtons are one of the most respected families in Beasigan history. Thomas Covington was the main author of our Constitution."

"My mom mentioned Covington," Alex says.

His grandmother sighs. "I supposed she might."

Willie looks between them. "Okay, his family is important, but who is _he?_ "

"Caleb Covington is next in line for the Beasigan throne should Alexander decline," his grandmother says.

"W-wait. _That_ guy?" Willie asks. " _That_ guy will be running the country if Alex chooses not to?"

"And he wants to," Alex mutters.

"Oh, he really wants to," his grandmother huffs, pacing back and forth in front of the coffee table. Alex would drop his jaw, but he thinks he's too shocked to even move the muscles to do that. He's never seen his grandmother lose her composure, has never even dreamed of it happening. "He wouldn't stop pestering me for weeks about it. He threatened me that he was going to contact you if I didn't do it myself. It was either force a sixteen year old boy into a role that he didn't want to be ready for, or end up having that sixteen year old boy hate me for the rest of my life because a loathsome man told him about me and didn't give me a chance to explain myself." She stops her pacing and puts her hands to her forehead. She shakes her head. She looks up at Willie through her hands. "I'm truly sorry he approached you Willia—Willie. Clearly, not only does the man lack manners, but also discretion."

"Don't be sorry," Willie says. "It's not your fault."

"Nevertheless," she sighs. She looks at Alex. "I doubt he would dare to think to approach you, but I'll gather a picture of him and have John send it to you so you can be aware of who he is. You can also send it to your other friends so they can seek to avoid him as well. Do warn them not to let him know they know who he is, though. You either, Willie. If he knows you know, he won't have any reason to refrain himself from pressing even further. That being said, you don't have anything to fear from him other than persistence. He'd never risk his standing in Beasiga—he still holds a high title even if he does not become king and he will not readily give that up. He may crave power but he already _holds_ power and he's not a stupid man."

"You… really don't like this guy," Alex says.

His grandmother looks at him and laughs a small laugh. "Was I being obvious?"

"A bit," he smiles. "But it was good for me. Really humanized you."

"Was I not human before?"

"No, not really," he admits. "You're like, perfect."

"Oh, Alexander, I'm far from perfect," she shakes her head. "Remind me to tell you some stories about my early days of royalty with my husband sometime. _Those_ will humanize me."

He grins. "Looking forward to it."

"Well," she says, clasping her hands together, "I don't want to keep you two here all night. Unless… is there anything else you need or want to discuss, Willie?"

"No, I'm good. Thank you so much for listening and figuring that out. It was really freaking me out, so…"

"But of course," she says, waving him off. "It's no worry at all. I'm only sorry you had to go through that. And I do hope I'll see you around more? Please feel free to stop by to say hello, or even join some of Alexander's lessons if you have the time and feel like it."

"I'll take you up on that offer, definitely," Willie says, standing from the couch. Alex gets up as well. "It was really, really nice to meet you, Louisa. Again, thank you, so much. We'll leave you to your reading now though. We'll see you around."

"Bye, Grandma," Alex says, and then tugs Willie out from the space between the couch and the coffee table. His grandmother calls out a goodbye after them and they send waves over their backs.

They're quiet on their walk through the consulate and out to the car. It still remains silent as Willie turns on the car and they get strapped in and Willie puts the car in drive, but as soon as he goes to pull into the street, Alex feels himself break.

"Why didn't you call me?" he demands.

"I knew you'd freak out," Willie says, shooting him an apologetic look. "Besides, I called my mom after, so I could talk to someone because I thought—kidnappers don't take people on phones, right?"

"You were worried about being kidnapped?!"

"Not—not _really?_ " he shrugs. "I was more worried he was going to stalk me to get to you. So I've been pretty hyper vigilant all day. I drove twenty extra minutes before I came to pick you up today just to make sure no one was following me. No one even _was_ following me. But… just in case."

Alex blinks. On one hand, after Willie's experience today, that's a completely understandable reaction. On the other… "I think, like, by dating me, you're getting some of my anxiety." Willie leans his head back and laughs. "No, I think it's a thing. Like, every time we kiss, a little bit of anxiety leaves me and goes into you. It's why I've been doing better lately."

Willie reaches over and puts his hand on Alex's thigh. "You've been doing better lately because you're doing better. Not because of some magic kisses."

"You saying our kisses aren't magic?"

Willie squeezes Alex's thigh, hard, and when Alex looks over, he can see Willie's cheeks darkening a shade. "I'm—I'm _saying_ , I'm proud of you, you know that, right?"

"Oh." Alex blinks. "Hang on, _how_ did we go from you worrying you were going to get kidnapped to you being proud of me? _How_ is that a logical progression?"

Willie laughs again, and Alex falls back into his seat, helpless.

They end up at Chipotle, sitting in a back corner booth on the same side of the table, thighs pressed flush together, shoulders brushing as they eat their bowls and watch YouTube videos on Willie's phone. They overstay their welcome, but no one kicks them out. It's just… they're just not sure where else to go. With Alex's lessons not ending until seven and the sun setting far before then, there's not too much to do on their Fridays besides sit and talk and goof around somewhere. But then Willie has an idea and pulls Alex out to his car.

"I don't know why I'm only thinking of this now," he says as he's driving down a residential street. "It feels like the obvious answer for a Friday night hang out," he says, right as he turns into a driveway. Willie shuts off the engine and gets out of the car and Alex follows, slower.

He's never been here before, but he's pretty sure this is Willie's house. If he's right, and he realizes he is as Willie unlocks the door, then that means Willie's family is inside, or at least some of them… probably. Alex has met Willie's older sister Taylor, since she was a senior when Alex was a freshman in high school. She had driven Willie home the day they had met at the beach. After that, sometimes at lunch she'd come bug her little brother and steal a chip from him and give him trouble and she always said hello to Alex and the others. But Taylor was off at NYU now. Willie's little sister Jamie doesn't go to Los Feliz High School since she isn't in performing arts but Alex has met her in passing. Willie would drive her places when he was meeting the group, and then she'd go her own way, and they'd go theirs. But Willie's parents? Alex has never met them, not once. And now, with no preparation, he thinks he's about to.

He follows Willie inside and looks around. It's definitely Willie's house—there are pictures of him and Taylor and Jamie dotted all around what Alex assumes to be the living room. He tries not to let his eyes linger on any of them too long, not wanting to intrude on any of their family memories (though, he supposes they're displayed for a reason). Willie slips his shoes off so Alex does too, and he follows him through the house.

They slow down when they pass an archway, and Alex looks in to see a sewing machine set up, fabric flowing out of it as it hums violently. There's a woman sitting behind it, staring down at what she's working on with intense concentration. On the other side of the room is a man sat behind a computer with a gaming headset on, leaning into the computer with focus.

"Hey," Willie says casually, and the noise of the sewing machine stops. Both the man and the woman look over and smile.

"Hey," the woman greets. "You're home early. How was your day?"

"Good. Alex and I ran out of places to go, so I brought him back with me," Willie explains, throwing a thumb over his shoulder to point at Alex. The woman's eyes flick to Alex. "We're gonna go watch a movie or something."

"All right," she says. "Let us know if you need anything. Alex, it's nice to meet you."

"Uh, it's nice to meet you too," he says. And, well. Huh. That wasn't bad at all. What was scary about that?

He follows Willie again until they're into what Alex assumes is Willie's room. As soon as Alex closes the door behind him, before he even has the chance to look around, Willie is dropping his backpack on the floor and walking towards Alex. "Hey," he says, putting his hands on Alex's hips and walking Alex back until Alex's hips and back are pressed against the door.

"Hey," Alex says back. He's surprised at how cool his voice sounds when in reality his heart is trembling.

"Wanna watch a movie?"

"… not really."

"Huh," Willie huffs. He leans forward, resting all of his weight on Alex. Alex's heart isn't just trembling anymore—his insides are completely rattled. "Well what are we supposed to do, then?"

"I dunno," Alex mumbles. This time there's a waver in his voice, but his tone is still strong, his voice is still confident. He traces a hand up Willie's side and around his back. His hand comes to fall on Willie's shoulder blade, his fingers reaching to brush the area in the middle of his back. His eyes flick from Willie's eyes to his lips and then back again. "Guess we'll have to figure it out, huh?"

"I think I have monopoly around here somewhere," Willie suggests, bringing his hand up to curl around Alex's neck. Alex feels a shock go through his body. The hand slips around so Willie's got a hold on the back of Alex's neck rather than the side of it, and Willie's eyes turn dark. He uses his hand to bring Alex forward a bit, but because of their position—Willie's body pressing his to the door—it ends up just tilting Alex's head back. Willie nudges Alex's chin with his nose and grins.

"Too boring with two players," Alex says, straightening his head again and tilting it down so the few inches he has on Willie stop feeling like a barrier. It's just… he doesn't lose himself with Willie, he just… feels vulnerable, feels like he's being taken apart piece by piece only to be put back together in an even more beautiful, sensible way. He shifts his weight on his feet, moving their entire position against the door, and then slips his hand that's still by his side beneath Willie's shirt and strokes his side. He feels Willie shiver lightly beneath his fingers. "What about scrabble?"

"You're much better with words than I am, not a fair game," Willie hums, and grabs Alex's wrist to stop him from caressing his side. Alex pushes down a feeling of smug satisfaction of finally getting through to his boyfriend. Willie presses Alex's wrist against the door and pushes their foreheads together, shutting his eyes as he does so. Alex lets his fall shut as well. "How about… tic-tac-toe?"

"Hmm… no, too predictable. What about hangman?" he asks, then, limited in his options with one hand pinned to the door, curls the fingers he has resting on Willie's upper back, digging his fingers in as deeply as he can. He's not expecting that to be what makes Willie break, but it does. As soon as his fingers press into Willie's back, the other boy is diving into Alex, connecting their mouths for a frantic kiss. Alex isn't prepared for it, had been expecting Willie to come back with another suggestion, so he gasps into the kiss. Willie mimics him, parting his lips as well, and then Alex can feel Willie, taste Willie. Alex's heart pounds in his chest and his blood rushes through his veins and the symptoms of… _this_ are so similar to the start of a panic attack but during a panic attack Alex feels like he's drowning and now… now he feels like he's flying.

Willie uses the hand behind Alex's neck to pull him away from the door as he steps backwards, knowing the layout of his room so well that even while his attention is focused entirely on Alex, he can lead Alex slowly while walking backwards until they reach the bed. At that point, Willie breaks the kiss and hops on to the bed, looking at Alex with a clear invitation, but there's also uncertainty, as if moving to a bed is somehow a huge step. And Alex supposes in a way it is. They've only ever managed kissing in a vertical position and in public, which in turn, has kept all of their kissing more… tame. Simple. Mellow. They've never gotten to be a teenage couple and just… make out. Still, it's cute that Willie has had this pause, is so obviously waiting for Alex to make the next move. So Alex does.

He climbs on the side of the bed, staring at Willie, and knee walks over to him until he has one knee on either side of Willie's hips so he's straddling him. Willie stares up at him, hair fanned along his pillows, and his face is several shades darker than usual. Alex bites his lip to stop himself from grinning, and instead leans down to bump their noses together, careful to keep their lips separated even as Willie tries to kiss him. "I like your room."

"You haven't even seen my room," Willie says, eyes flickering between Alex's eyes and his lips.

"Sure I have." He flicks his eyes to the side. "You've got blue bedding. And monopoly, somewhere."

Willie groans, scrunching his nose. "Are we really doing this _again?_ "

"I don't know," Alex hums. "I like affecting you."

"You always do," Willie tells him. He slips a hand up and cups Alex's jaw. "Always have."

"I like being able to _see_ it," Alex admits. "I feel like I'm always the one giving in to you. Half the time you kiss me out of nowhere and I just—I don't know how to react after. You make me stupid."

Willie grins and huffs out a laugh. Alex is so close he can feel Willie's breath wash over his face. "Half the time I kiss you out of nowhere because I'm gone on you, dude. Most of the time, me kissing you _is_ me being affected. You probably just did something hella cute."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh," Willie says. "Like, god, like right fucking now. ' _Oh_ ,'" he repeats with a roll of his eyes, and then surges up, locking their lips together. This time, Alex is at least a bit more prepared. He kisses back immediately and tries to take control this time. It takes Willie a minute to notice Alex's goal, so there's a bit of a battle between them—Willie leading subconsciously and Alex trying to sway it into his favor, until suddenly Willie realizes and backs down without any more of a fight. Willie relaxes back into his pillow, his hand drifts from Alex's jaw to his hip, and he brings his other hand up to slide beneath Alex's shirt to just rest on his stomach. Meanwhile Alex cards his fingers through Willie's hair, using his hold to gently guide Willie's head to where he wants it to be. He's propped up by his elbow on one side of Willie's head, so he uses that hand to play with strands of Willie's hair mindlessly. And slowly, his lips work against Willie's, and Alex wants this moment to last forever, wants to live in this feeling of being loved, being wanted, being held, being desired, being Willie's. Realistically he knows it won't last forever.

For right now, tonight's enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you may have noticed this has been turned into a series.  
> Long story short, I have no self-control and have already branched off into writing one shots in this ‘verse. No one who knows me is surprised. One is already complete, three more are in the works, and I have ideas for two more. If you have anything you want to see in this ‘verse, whether it be from before, during, or after the main story (the main story being this fic you’re reading right now), let me know! I’m willing to explore other characters POVs from this series as well, Willie’s in particular, so.  
> List of one shots so far:  
> \- Willie and Alex first meeting at the beach (complete, will be posted 2/2, a week after ysmfinb finishes posting)  
> \- Willie helping Alex through a panic attack (in progress)  
> \- A panic attack role reversal (Willie has one, Alex helps) (in progress)  
> \- ~~domestic discussions  
> \- Caleb and Willie's meeting from this chapter  
> \- [redacted – spoiler] (in progress) 
> 
> Yeah, so one thing I wasn’t a fan of with the movie the Princess Diaries was that we never see Mia go through any journey with her social anxiety. Like. It’s a legit disorder and for her to go from puking to public speaking so quickly without speaking to someone, without doing some sort of CBT or DBT or exposure therapy, without… SOMETHING… idk man. Maybe she just really hated public speaking and didn’t have anxiety, but Alex 100% DOES have anxiety, so. We see a short insight on what he’s going through with his therapist. And NOTE: I am NOT a therapist, so don’t read what I write and take it and run with it. I’ve BEEN to therapy for social anxiety and have also put in some research for this fic, but. Still. If you struggle with social anxiety, seek out a therapist and they’ll find a plan that works for you. 
> 
> Also, Alex’s coping is NOT as instant as it seems in this chapter. I gave him one major success, but he’ll still have struggles-- the one shot of Willie helping Alex through his panic attack takes place months after this fic's main story ends and he's clearly still having panic attacks. He’ll have them his entire life. He’ll be managing his anxiety his entire life. That’s! o! kay! Count your wins! Count your successes! Celebrate them! Kiss your boyfriend in front of the entire school because you’re so damn happy about them! 
> 
> Fun fact: I actually did have a panic attack in high school once and my band teacher let me hang out in the practice rooms and emailed my bio teacher and explained what happened. So that’s where that scene came from. 
> 
> I think Willie and Louisa would have a really fun relationship. I think their relationship would be a lot like the fluff scenes of Mia and Clarisse’s from Princess Diaries. Like, that scene with the arm wrestling machine? I can 100% see between Willie and Louisa. The fan scene from PD2? Willie sees Louisa with a fan and asks to see it and then starts making silly faces behind her back to Alex while she’s reading and she all but chases him around with it afterwards once she realizes. They decide to make cookies for Alex when he’s off studying legislation with a member of parliament and instead of just having their kitchen staff do it, they do and it takes them hours because Willie can’t stop laughing at Louisa’s cluelessness with everything kitchen related and that causes her to start a literal food fight with Willie. Alex and Willie don’t leave the consulate until eight that night because Willie has to get cleaned up and borrow clothes. They’re just children together. 
> 
> “You saying our kisses aren’t magic?”  
> That would 100% be a time where Willie would have kissed him bc he was overwhelmed with affection for him but he couldn’t bc road safety so he just held on for dear life instead. Someone help this man his boyfriend is too cute and he can’t handle it 
> 
> Also a literal just... a thousand words of pure, simple Willex fluff because a) we deserve it and b) Alex needs to know that Willie is as dumb for him as Alex is for Willie. 
> 
> Come talk to me at [sunsetcurbed](https://sunsetcurbed.tumblr.com) on tumblr!


	8. live it like it's now or never

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You what?" Willie's voice comes from behind him.
> 
> "Oh, thank god," Flynn breathes.
> 
> Reggie nods. "You're our only hope. Kiss him until he forgets about the embarrassing thing he did last night."
> 
> Alex gasps. "So you admit it was embarrassing!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started my spring semester yesterday! Today I have a class after I’m posting this so I won’t be watching my email with bated breath for comments since I can’t :) not :) do that :) if I don't have something to do. But my class is only an hour and fifteen minutes so hahaha that won’t last me long. I also had class at 9 am though so I'll probably take a nap too. Normally I go for drives and listen to the JatP album after posting because I get so anxious.  
> Ahhh, The Life of a Fanfic Author: Kay Edition! Loves writing fic, gets anxious posting it, craves validation (especially 0.5 seconds after posting) 
> 
> Anyways, as always, thank you for the love. It’s much appreciated. As stated above, I crave validation so all validation provided is just!!! incredible. 
> 
> Chapter title from Now or Never by Sunset Curve? Julie and the Phantoms?

The dinner goes just about as well as Alex is expecting it to which is to say: terribly.

Well, no.

The night starts off fantastically.

His grandmother takes him around, introducing him to plenty of people both from Beasiga and from other countries, and he remembers all of the proper etiquette for introducing himself and getting to know them. There's a particularly gleeful moment when she introduces him to Caleb and Alex says, "oh, Covington—your ancestor was the main author of our Constitution, correct?" and Caleb's eyes show surprise as if he hadn't actually been expecting Alex to have been studying up on Beasiga all this time. And meeting Jeffry Marley is extremely pleasant as well. Alex doesn't come out and say 'hey, I'm gay too!' but Jeffry has his husband with him, and no one in the room bats an eye at them. Everyone seems to enjoy meeting Alex, and Alex genuinely enjoys meeting everyone.

Dinner goes well enough, too. He uses all the correct silverware, doesn't talk with a full mouth, manages to casually slip his boyfriend into conversation with Jeffry earning a small smile out of him, and is surprised to find he likes all of the food. Daniel, Jeffry's husband, starts asking Alex about his life and Alex freezes up for a second, but manages to get out a little bit about himself. The two men are fascinated with Alex's involvement with his band, and Alex sees Daniel pull out a pen and a business card and scribble something down, presumably his band's name, before slipping them back into his jacket. His grandmother keeps sending him approving looks from the head of the table and he feels grateful, and also a little hopeful, which is something that he's not going to think too much on right now.

So. That's all gone great.

After dinner however, there's time for talking in the hallways. And, well, it's been a long day. And Alex is used to wearing tennis shoes, not dress shoes, and he's used to double knotting his shoes, not single knotting, so he's not used to his shoe laces coming undone. He's not sure if he's ever had a shoelace come undone. So he's entirely surprised when he's walking with one of the diplomats from another small country talking to them about policy and doing really well, thanks, when he goes to take a step, only for his foot not to lift and he starts toppling towards the ground. Instinctively, he throws his hand out to catch himself but whatever he grabs doesn't stop him, it goes tumbling down too, and as it does it makes an ear splitting _crash_ and _clang_.

At this point, Alex is on the floor along with whatever he knocked over, and he can't hear… anything. The entire hallway has gone completely silent—well, he thinks. His ears are still ringing. His eyes are squeezed shut, scared to see the damage, and scared to see the faces of people around him looking at him. However, delaying it is only going to make him feel more ridiculous when he does finally get around to opening his eyes, so he bites the inside of his cheek and peeks one eye open.

The diplomat he was speaking with, Mariana, if he remembers correctly, is staring down at him with surprise. She looks like she wants to say something but she doesn't, instead opens and shuts her mouth before flicking her eyes to the side. Alex opens his other eye and follows her gaze and just barely holds back a groan. An entire suit of armor is lying disassembled on the floor of the Beasigan consulate's main hallway. "Well… shit," he mutters, quiet enough that no one but him can hear, even in the silence of the hallway. He scoots over to the suit of armor and reaches for it, particularly, one of the hands that's lying nearest him. He picks it up gingerly and frowns. "Nice to meet you too," he says in a normal voice, and with the acoustics of the hallway, it travels.

Down the hall, he hears someone snort, and then someone else laughs. Then, the elbow joint of the armor falls off, and someone else joins in on the laughter. Alex joins them, trying to find the humor rather than the anxiety in the situation, and soon enough, the night is carrying on.

But _oh_ , it sticks with him.

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad," Julie says the next morning as he mopes at his locker.

" _I dismantled an entire suit of armor by tripping on my shoelace_ ," Alex stresses.

"You what?" Willie's voice comes from behind him.

"Oh, thank god," Flynn breathes.

Reggie nods. "You're our only hope. Kiss him until he forgets about the embarrassing thing he did last night."

Alex gasps. "So you admit it was embarrassing!"

"Completely," Luke says.

" _Luke!_ " Julie cries.

Luke pulls a face. "What happened to honesty is the best policy?"

Willie takes Alex's hand and uses it to tug him into his chest. "So, what happened then?" Alex sighs and recounts the story to Willie, who listens patiently. When he's done, Willie nods. "Okay. How'd the rest of the night go?"

Alex frowns. What about the suit of armor? "Uh… good, I guess?"

"You didn't set anyone on fire or anything?"

He scoffs. "You have so little faith in me?"

"Just checking," he grins, and squeezes Alex's hand. "Did you meet Jeffry?"

"I did. And his husband. Daniel. They showed me pictures of their daughter. No one in the room gave a shit when they walked around holding hands."

"Yeah? Did you tell 'em about me?" he asks in a teasing voice.

"I know you're joking, but I did actually," Alex admits.

The smile on Willie's face dims just a bit from where it was at—bright, easy, and teasing—and falls to something still brilliant but more… personal, earnest, and awestruck. His eyes flick between Alex's eyes and his lips. He leans forward and gives Alex a quick but ardent kiss, and then steps back. "I'm gone on you," Willie says, and Alex can't stop the smile from breaking out on his face, realizing that's Willie's way of saying Alex has affected him in some way in this moment.

To their left, Reggie lets out a noise of disbelief. "How does he _do_ that?"

Alex looks away from Willie to his friend and frowns. "Do what?"

Reggie shakes his head and looks between Luke, Julie, and Flynn, who all also look surprised. Alex looks at Willie who smirks at Reggie. "Magic kisses," he says.

"Hey, you said those weren't real," Alex argues.

"Of course they are, hot dog," Willie says, and then kisses Alex.

It's not until almost four hours later, sitting in music next to his friends, that he realizes what Reggie might have meant that morning. Alex had been all but panicking about the suit of armor to them before Willie had shown up, and then with a quick back and forth, Willie had gotten Alex's mind off of it so sufficiently that Alex didn't even think of it again until now. Before him, Julie had been trying to reassure Alex for five minutes that it was okay, had been trying to calm him down. Now, Alex could understand Reggie and the other's confusion, because Alex wasn't sure how Willie did it either. He does it a lot, too. He kind of just… guerrillas Alex's anxiety and emotions sometimes—stops his anxiety in its tracks and elicits something else inside of Alex. It's like he knows Alex's mind to the point that, as long as Alex isn't hyper fixated on something, Willie can flip it and walk his mind away from whatever it is that is making Alex anxious and calm Alex down without him even realizing it.

But it's not even just that. The screaming on a mountain wasn't flipping his anxiety on itself. It was recognizing tension in Alex that had no other release and finding an outlet for it. Because Willie does that. He does that for Alex. He notices these things in Alex and then does these things for Alex _._ Willie understands Alex's anxiety well enough that he can beat it more often than not. Alex is only just learning coping mechanisms himself and yet, looking back, Willie has been doing things like this from the start. Which, well, it makes sense because sometimes Willie will come to him with sections of research, pieces and parts highlighted that he thinks will be useful to Alex, but Willie is the one to read _all_ of it, is the one to actually process and understand it. And he does all of that _for Alex_.

 _And_ , Alex thinks back to Venice Canals, he's _proud_ that he's been able to do all of that for Alex.

Alex looks at the clock. He needs music class to be over now. He needs it to be lunch so he can see Willie, because even though Willie has _said_ , Alex has never fully understood, but now he does.

When the bell rings almost forty minutes later, Alex is up and out of his seat before anyone else in the class. He doesn't think he listened to a word that Mrs. Harrison said in the last hour and he might feel bad on a normal day, but today he doesn't. He doesn't wait for his friends, just heads straight for the cafeteria, and doesn't stop until he's at the back table. Of course he's there before anyone else, so he has to wait, but not long. Willie packs his lunch, so he's the first one to get to their table, and he shows up about two minutes after Alex gets there. He raises his eyebrows at Alex.

"Are you not eating lunch today?" he asks, setting his bag next to Alex's on the table.

Alex stands from the bench so he's in front of Willie and he smiles. Willie automatically smiles back at him. "You love me," Alex says.

"Yeah," Willie says, voice mostly sure but a hint of confusion creeping in. "I do."

Alex cradles Willie's face in his hands and kisses him. "You love me," he says again against Willie's lips.

Willie laughs and turns his face into one of Alex's hands. "I'm gone on you. Why?"

"Not—no reason. I just. I'm just realizing."

Willie reaches up and grabs Alex's wrists to pull his hands away from his face and steps back. "You're _just_ realizing? I told you almost two weeks ago."

"Yeah, I was like, pretty sure I had dreamt that part up."

He slips his hands down Alex's wrists until his hands are holding Alex's. "Alex?"

"You love me?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, good."

"… Alex?"

"I love you."

"Oh, good."

(*)

Willie goes to prince lessons with him that afternoon. When Alex had asked his grandmother if it would be all right when they were getting ready for the dinner yesterday afternoon, she'd been overjoyed.

"Well, I invited him back for a reason, now, did I not?" she huffed.

"We weren't sure if you were just trying to be nice," Alex said.

She rolled her eyes. "Well, I was, but I was also being genuine. On top of him being a lovely gentleman, he's your boyfriend, Alexander. If you're going to stay with him, that means he's going to need instruction, too."

" _Oh_."

She looked at him. "Had you not thought of that?"

"No!" Alex yelled. "Oh, god, that's so much pressure on him. This has been so much pressure on me. I can't do that to him, I can't—"

"Relax, Alexander," his grandmother attempted to soothe, though it did not work too well. "A consort would be important, yes, but not nearly as important as a ruler. What Willie would go through would be completely different from your experience. Much, much less stressful. _And_ , he would not be pressured to learn so much at once as you have been. You… are in a very unique situation, my dear."

That did manage to calm Alex down, which is the only reason that Willie is here standing next to him now.

"Willie!" his grandmother sings, opening her arms for a hug. "It's so lovely to see you again."

"Louisa," Willie greets, stepping in to hug her, "nice to see you, too."

"And Alexander," she says as she steps back from Willie and pulls Alex into a hug, "your friend has been reassembled and put back on his stand." Alex groans and Willie laughs. She lights up at Willie's laugh. "Ah, so he told you about that, then?"

"Totally," Willie says. "At least now people won't forget him."

"Oh, no they won't," she smiles. She looks to Alex. "You'll laugh about it, too, in time. At my first event I spent too much time at the fondue fountain. Your grandfather encouraged it, of course. But not only did I end up with a chocolate stain down my dress, but I also ended up getting sick from all the sugar. I got such a headache after an hour that I stumbled into the table and spilled the fountain."

"That didn't happen," Alex says, fully confident.

"Your great grandfather took pictures, he found it so hilarious."

" _No_ ," Alex breathes.

"It took me _years_ to get over it, but looking back on it, it was quite funny. I hadn't had chocolate in years. My mother was quite strict with my diet, so your grandfather told me to go wild. I took him too literally."

"Oh, man," Alex says. "You told me to ask about your early royal days but I still haven't. We should definitely talk about them today so Willie can hear them too."

His grandmother laughs. "I would love to, but today, we're dancing. Perhaps I can tell you a few stories while you two dance."

"Dance?" Willie asks, perking up.

"Yes. You dance, correct?"

"I do." Willie nods. "I'm actually at Los Feliz for dance. I'm assuming we're going to be doing ballroom which I haven't done for a few years, but I'm sure I'll pick it back up."

"I'm sure you will," she nods, and motions for them to take their place on the dance floor. She turns the music on low. "Now, I'm assuming Willie is going to be your date for the Independence Day Ball in December, so I figured you two could use some time practicing. While you're doing that I'm going to be quizzing you on Beasiga… and giving you a few stories about my early days."

They dance for almost an hour and then head to the library to discuss some upcoming policy changes. They end up talking and goofing off some as well, which isn't entirely unheard of the more Alex gets to know his grandmother, but Willie's presence certainly seems to encourage it. Then, they have dinner together so Willie and Alex don't have to find somewhere to eat. After, they make their way to the living room to just sit down and talk for a few minutes before Willie and Alex head out. At one point Willie asks about the cultural differences in Beasiga versus Los Angeles, and his grandmother looks at him for a long moment. 

"If Alexander chooses to accept his position, his parents and I discussed him spending next summer in Beasiga if he'd like," his grandmother says. Alex blinks. Really? He wants to ask if he could do that even if he doesn't accept his position, but then his grandmother continues, "I hope you know you're more than welcome to join us as well. Of course I'm sure you might want to spend the time with your family before heading to college." 

"No, uh, I could do both, maybe?" Willie says, looking between Alex and his grandmother. "I'd really like to see Beasiga, especially if Alex accepts his position." There's a weight to Willie's words, one that Alex doesn't really understand. The look that Willie shares with his grandmother though… he's pretty sure she understands, and he wants to yell that it's not fair that she's already got some secret communication with his boyfriend. They've met twice! But Alex is mature now, so he bites his tongue. 

"I think that would be a good idea. You're certainly welcome to spend a few weeks with us, that would still give you time at home with your family," she says. "Have you decided what you're going to college for yet?" 

Willie's eyes flick to Alex. He shifts in his seat. "I'm, uh, thinking about psychology." 

"Really?" Alex asks, unable to stop himself from blurting out the question. 

"Yeah," Willie nods. "It's… just a thought right now. I was going to tell you but I wasn't really sure how to bring it up? Seemed kind of random to just say. Just… with all the research I've done over the past few years? I've actually enjoyed it too. And I'm good at it, I guess. So, it's just. I've just been thinking about it." 

"No, yeah, I get it. I think it sounds great," Alex tells him because, well, he does. Willie is absolutely right. Psychology is something he's good at and something he enjoys and something he's already delved into. It makes complete sense and Alex is just upset that Willie didn't think he could tell him before now. Alex would have loved to hear about this at any point, random or not. 

"I think psychology sounds like an excellent choice," his grandmother says. "I'm sure you would be very successful with it. Well, I'm sure you would be very successful no matter what you choose." 

Twenty minutes later they're in the car, leaving the consulate behind for the week. "That was fun," Willie says as he drives down the street. "Do you think she'd mind if I came again next week?"

"Uh, no," Alex shakes his head. "She'd probably love it again."

"Would _you_ mind?"

"What? No. I'd love to have you there."

"All right. You should ask her next week then."

Alex bites his lip. "I should warn you though."

"Hm?"

"She—she _does_ like you. That is one of the reasons she wants you around. But she also thinks—since we're dating—you should get some lessons too? Just—you know. Just in case," Alex says.

"Just… in… case?" Willie frowns, shooting a look at Alex.

"Yeah, you know, in case I accept the crown, in case I move to Beasiga, in case you… decide you want to stay with me if I do that," Alex mumbles, curling in on himself as the worlds leave him.

"Hey," Willie says, and Alex can tell from the way his body is angled in his seat that he wants to be looking at Alex right now rather than the road. "Well, wait." He flicks his turn signal on and turns into a parking lot. "Hey, okay, look," he says as he parks, and then turns to Alex. "D'you remember what you said when you told me you loved me the first time? Something like it's been a while and your feelings were only getting stronger with time? Well it's the same for me. For two years now I've been gone on you. And it hasn't gone away, and it's only gotten stronger. It's only _getting_ stronger. I have wanted you for so long, and I have no plans to give you up. And I'm not going to pretend everything is going to be perfect. We're going to have to figure a lot of shit out, _especially_ if you choose to accept the throne. Because there's still college, and me not fully knowing what I want to do with my life, and the fact that we're still just teenagers but. But I'm also not going to pretend that I don't love you. I want to make this work. I know we've only been dating four weeks, but I've loved you for two years, and you _are_ the man I wanna be with in this moment and that's what matters." Willie stops here, and leans forward so his elbow is resting on the armrest. "I don't care if I need to take lessons to make this work."

"O… kay."

Willie smiles. "Okay?"

"Uh-huh," Alex nods. He pauses and then, "I mean, it's not like I'm even gonna accept the crown—"

"Alex," Willie says. Alex cuts off and frowns. "I know you've been thinking about accepting the throne more lately, even if you haven't told me."

"What?" Alex frowns. "You do?"

He laughs, reaches across his body with his left arm to take Alex's right hand in his hand. "You've started talking a lot more hypothetically. Like even just before, you said something about if I would stay with you if you were Prince. Why would you say that if you were dead set against it? Ever since you found out Beasiga has a gay Prime Minister, you've been referencing it different. Apart from just now, you haven't said 'I'm not going to accept the crown' since you found out about Jeffry. You've started bringing the country up more in conversation, which, yeah, you've been learning about it five days a week, it'd be hard to avoid talking about it, but you're so passionate about it. It's not surprising that you're thinking about stepping up, Alex."

Alex bites his lip. "The same night I found out about Jeffry, my mom let slip about Caleb. Covington." Willie squeezes his hand, pressing him to continue. "I figured out he wasn't a good guy even without my grandma telling me. So, yeah, I started thinking about it that night. Like, really thinking about it. And I have been since then." He sits back in his seat and runs a hand through his hair. "But, like, I still have the band, you know? And I still have the whole thing with not being able to be in front of people." _I still have you to consider_ , he wants to say. "Those are _major, major_ things. And I can't just, like, forget about them, you know?"

"Yeah," Willie agrees.

"But I also can't leave Beasiga to Covington. How shit of me would that be? Did you know he proposed to cut income assistance last year? Did I tell you that? And he—he suggested barring refugees from entering our schooling systems. Our country is only 0.8% refugees, so even a smaller percentage are children! What harm could they _possibly_ be doing? And, and—"

"Yeah, but those didn't work, because Beasiga has a great Prime Minister, and parliament, and citizens. Caleb wouldn't just get to do whatever he wanted," Willie reminds him. "And Beasiga isn't your responsibility."

"Isn't it though?" Alex asks, his voice pitching up. "I mean technically until I—if I even do—renounce, I am their Prince. Which would make them my responsibility."

"You are your responsibility, first and foremost."

He grimaces. "That sounds a little selfish."

Willie shakes his head. "It isn't. Even if it were, and we're just speaking hypothetically here, the sooner you sort yourself out, the sooner you make a decision about Beasiga. Isn't that better for them?"

Alex hesitates. "I guess?"

"So right now, you're your focus," Willie tells him. He leans over the gearshift and draws Alex in for a kiss. Alex sighs, feeling tension start to drain from him as he processes the conversation they've just had. Beasiga's King does hold more power than rulers in some other countries—not as much as countries like Liechtenstein or others of the sort—but they're still not all-powerful. Willie was absolutely right about that, and Alex needed to be reminded of it. Caleb wouldn't be able to do everything he wanted. … But he _would_ get to appoint the Prime Minister, and he would have more sway and he would—"Stop thinking," Willie hums against his lips.

Alex frowns and pulls back from the kiss. "Sorry."

"No you're not," Willie says, gripping his knee and squeezing. "But that's why Beasiga would be lucky to have you. I am serious though." Alex hums a question. Willie leans in and kisses him again, soft, then pulls away. "You are always my first priority, and Beasiga _will_ be okay without you until you figure out what _you_ want. Not what you think is best. What you _want_. Now lets go get tea."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re getting closer and closer to the end! Two chapters left and then the epilogue! I hope you’ve all been enjoying this. 
> 
> Willie is torn between being offended that Alex didn't believe him/realize for two weeks about Willie being in love with him and being elated that Alex _knows_ how much he loves him now. 
> 
> There’s a distinct difference between two people who start dating after knowing each other for a few weeks talking about long term, and two people who have been best friends for years and are already in love with each other before they started dating talking about long term. Obviously Willie and Alex are still realistic and know not everything is perfect and that they have only been dating for two/four weeks, but they also _know_ each other, so there’s not going to be much left that would potentially ruin their relationship that they didn’t know about one another. They know the good and bad parts about each other, they know the other’s wants and hopes, they know the quirks and habits. I, and they, look at it as: their friendship was the ‘getting to know you’ stage of dating and they’re currently in the ‘looking at what comes next’ stage. 
> 
> Tea helps me cope with my anxiety so I gave it as a coping mechanism to Alex for his, which is why they’re always getting it. Willie got addicted to Alex’s favorite teashop because they visit it so often. He’s very particular about his tea though and he’ll only drink tea from two teashops in all of LA. 
> 
> Find me at [sunsetcurbed](https://sunsetcurbed.tumblr.com) on tumblr. :)


	9. stuck in my head with nothing left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex has the personality of a shut-in, but the mind for bettering the lives of the common people. That's what his country needs. 
> 
> But… can he?
> 
> Princes, kings, rulers… they're born. They're not made. And that's what his grandmother is trying to do. She's trying to make him one. And it's not like she's doing poorly, per se, but… he's Alex. He wasn't born to rule a country.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the love, as always, it's appreciated. <3 
> 
> Chapter title from Bright by Julie and the Phantoms.

Weeks pass. Time blurs by Alex and he just barely keeps up with it. Julie and the Phantoms plays a large company's winter holiday party, Willie attends more lessons with Alex (this, Alex particularly enjoys as Willie is tied to his chair at dinner for posture like Alex had been at the start of lessons), his dad stops talking to him again once he finds out Alex is dating Willie, and at school they've just finished finals and started on their break today. In the past two weeks Caleb has approached Willie twice more when he's out around Hollywood. They've been brief. Just exchanges of Caleb asking how Willie is, and then asking how Alex is, but Alex knows Willie is put off about it. Alex is too, and becomes even more so when Wednesday the 15th, six days before the Ball, Willie texts him again.

**(17:59) Covington just legit sat and had tea with me and started talking with me and flat out asked if you were gonna accept the crown or not**

**(17:59) "It's killing us all, is he gonna accept or not? Do you know?"**

**(18:00) So not only does he lack manners and discretion, but also patience** **lmao**

Alex tenses his jaw and clutches his phone tight in his hand. He raises his arm as if he's going to throw it, but then lowers it back down, slowly. He lets out a long breath and texts Willie back quick, telling him to get home safely, and apologizes for Caleb. Then he tosses his phone to the side and looks back to where his band is sitting. He was just about to get up to join them so they could work on some harmonies, but he wanted to check his phone first. Now they are all staring at him and he is frozen to the spot.

"Sorry," he murmurs.

"What's up, buddy?" Reggie asks cautiously.

"You, uh, remember that Covington guy we showed you and warned you to stay away from?"

"Yeah?" Julie asks.

"He's been going after Willie the last few weeks. He had tea with him today."

"What?" Reggie frowns. "Why?"

Alex sighs, not really wanting to get into it but also knowing his friends deserve the explanation. "Caleb is next in line for the throne if I choose to decline. And… he wants it. He's trying to get information out of Willie. About my decision."

There's a minute long pause in the room. No one has anything to say to that. He didn't really expect them to. It's a shitty thing, and it's a shitty thing that can't be changed or stopped. Willie's already being tailed by two security every time he goes out in public for safety, but he's told them not to interfere unless he motions to them. He's yet to feel threatened enough that he's had to. He's been handling it incredibly according to his grandmother and security though—giving enough information to keep Caleb from getting angry, but not enough to give anything away. Still, it makes Alex's blood boil. That Willie is in the situation in the first place to 'handle it incredibly.' God, he fucking hates Caleb Covington.

"You remember what I said last month?" Reggie's voice cuts through Alex's thoughts. Alex looks up. He frowns, shakes his head. Reggie smiles. "Even if you move, become prince of some country, we'll still find a way to make this work. We're a band."

The way Reggie says 'band' doesn't sound like he's saying 'band.' Not even close. No, because the weight behind the way Reggie says 'band' is the weight behind the way many people say 'family.' Alex can hear clear as day in Reggie's tone that Reggie is calling Alex and Luke his brothers and Julie his sister. That Reggie is calling this band his family.

Luke stands up from the couch and swings his guitar onto his back. "Yeah man, look," he says, "I'm sorry for how I reacted that day, but even if you—even if you choose to be prince you're still our drummer, y'know? It might complicate things, but Reg said it. We'll make it work."

Alex blinks the welling tears out of his eyes and clears his throat. "Well—I'm not. I-I can't, you know? That's not… I'm not. It's just not who I am."

"But it kind of is, now," Reggie argues. "I mean aside from the argument that you could redefine their monarchy to fit who you are, you… you've been in those prince lessons for over a month now and you've made _serious_ progress with your social anxiety. You… you don't just have a prince's title anymore. You _are_ a prince."

"He's right," Julie agrees. "You've made so much progress in just over a month, and you'll have so much more time to grow into this role. I think this is your thing, you just haven't accepted it yet. Don't write it off yet. I don't want you to regret it down the line."

"Where is this coming from?" he demands. "I thought you guys knew I wasn't going to accept."

"We knew for like, the first few days," Reggie says, "because you told us. But after that you never mentioned it again, but you talked about Beasiga _a lot_. So we like, kinda started to doubt it a little."

"I think I know more about Beasiga than the US at this point," Luke grumbles, grabbing at the guitar strap across his chest. "But yeah, dude. You literally just said 'if' not 'when' a minute ago. And if you were serious about giving it up, you could've just told Willie to tell that Caleb guy that you were stepping down and then Caleb would leave him alone."

Oh.

That _is_ a thing Alex could have done.

But Alex _really, really_ isn't sure if he wants to renounce his claim, and now he's even less so.

Alex swallows around the lump in his throat and looks away from his friends. His eyes fall on his hi-hat, and he thinks: they're willing to make it work if he accepts his role as prince. His shoulders feel looser, his head feels clearer, his heart feels lighter. He's not sure _how_ they'll make it work, but he's positive that they can find a way. Which makes his decision a whole lot harder now. In the start, there had been a lot of reasons that he had been ready to reject his role as prince, but over time, more and more of those reasons had fallen away until only a few remained. Today there had been two main reasons remaining: the band and his anxiety. After this talk they're having now, only one of those remains. And even that one has been slowly falling away the better he became at coping.

The further Alex delved into the Beasigan world over the past month and a half, no matter how reluctant he had been at first, the more he loved it. He was fascinated with his country's history, he was eager to theoretically be a part of solutions to problems the country faced, he was in love with their culture. And the more he envisioned being a prince, the closer he stepped towards the role. His etiquette lessons had changed him in small but meaningful ways, he was more confident in himself due to the therapy and coaching both, and, watching his grandmother, he was struck that he could do much, much worse than to aspire to be like her. He is confident that he could be a better ruler than Caleb—policy wise, anyways. Caleb has the personality of a public figure, but the mind of a conqueror. Alex has the personality of a shut-in, but the mind for bettering the lives of the common people. _That's_ what his country needs.

But… can he?

Princes, kings, rulers… they're born. They're not made. And that's what his grandmother is trying to do. She's trying to make him one. And it's not like she's doing poorly, per se, but… he's Alex. He wasn't born to rule a country.

"Do you think I _can?_ " he asks

"Buddy, you definitely can," Reggie says. "You've got this."

"Apart from being cheesy and saying that I think you can do anything," Julie smiles, "I really think you can do this, Alex. I think you think you can do this too; you just don't want to admit it because you're scared."

Alex doesn't know if it's that he's scared, exactly, but he's just… he really doesn't know if he _can_ do this. There's so much to it and Alex wouldn't even know where to begin. No, he wouldn't be all-powerful, so he would be helped along, would be more of _a_ voice than _the_ voice. But even that was daunting. What if he wasn't up to snuff? What if he made a fool of himself? What if he did something that hurt the country? Is he willing to take those risks? Again, he asks himself: _can_ he do this?

"In third grade you were the last of us to make it all the way across the monkey bars," Luke says. He's staring at the notebook that's in front of him but then his eyes flick up to meet Alex's. They're intense and Alex feels himself sitting up straighter under his friend's gaze. "But once you made it across, you could do it faster than me or Reg. And then in fifth grade when we started school band, you got a satisfactory on your report card for drums for the entire first year. Fucking _look_ at you now. When you asked me to teach you guitar, you couldn't get the strumming patterns right for _forever_. Now there isn't a song you can't play. You got a thirty on the ACT, which was _great._ And you did it as a sophomore. But you wanted to do better. So you studied, went back, and took it as a junior and got a thirty-four to get your pick of colleges. … And then your grandma shows up. And calls you a prince. And _that's_ the thing you decide you can't do?" he asks. He scoffs and shakes his head. "No. You can. You have been. Dude, you _are._ "

Alex stares at Luke, completely stunned. If he's being completely honest, he didn't expect Luke to support Alex in this—didn't expect Luke to be pushing Alex _towards_ being a prince. Sure, Luke had already agreed with Reggie, had already said that they'd find a way to make Alex being a prince work with him in the band, but Alex wasn't entirely sure if he was serious or not. Apparently he was. Very.

He carries Luke's words home with him that night and thinks on them as his family eats dinner, and as he plays MarioKart with Ava and Austin, and as he gathers up his dirty clothes for his mom to do laundry. As he brings them to her, he draws in a deep breath. When he reaches her, he lets it out.

"Mom?"

"Oh!" She spins around, dropping the laundry basket in the process. "Oh, sweetie, you scared me."

"Sorry," he says.

"It's fine," she shakes her head and leans down to grab the basket. She starts loading the washer back up and twists to look at him. "What's up?"

"I—Beasiga."

She hesitates with her next handful, and then stops loading the washer entirely. "Yeah?"

Alex draws in a deep breath and starts. "I've been—thinking a lot lately. You told me to keep my mind open at the start of this and while I didn't originally, it… I opened it up after a while. And now I've been thinking about… about accepting my role as prince." One of his mom's hands drifts up to her chest and she sucks in a breath. "I haven't made up my mind. I… I _really_ haven't made up my mind. I have no idea how the hell I'm _going_ to make up my mind, and how I'm going to do it in six days. But… but I wanted to ask you. If I do… do you think I _can?_ "

His mom looks off to the side and the hand on her chest presses down and rubs over her heart. She blows out a breath. "Well… that's a heavy question." She looks at him and tilts her head. "I think… I think probably. I… I don't think you could have done it before those lessons your grandma gave you—"

"Oh, not a chance," Alex snorts.

His mom smiles. "Right. But I think now you probably could. I mean, no one really knows if they can until they try. I think you could try."

Alex smiles and thanks her, and turns to go back to his room.

"Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"You don't feel like you… have to do this, do you?" she asks.

"No, Mom. I don't. If I felt like I had to there wouldn't be a chance in hell I would be considering it."

He retreats to his room and opens his laptop to put on Netflix. He barely pays attention to what he puts on, and pays even less attention to the screen while it plays.

Prince lessons the next day start in the morning since there's no school. Alex makes it until lunch before he breaks.

"You… you know I've been considering accepting my role as prince," Alex states. His grandmother nods. "I've not come to a decision. But I wanted to talk to you about it anyways."

"All right," she says, putting her fork down. "We can absolutely do that."

"There are a lot of reasons I am considering taking my place as prince. I'm sure you know most of them. But there are a lot of reasons I'm wary of it as well. My band—they say we'll make it work, but we haven't actually figured out how we'll make it work, and I don't want to give that up. And, well. My anxiety. It's gotten better, I've developed coping mechanisms and I'm sure over time I'll develop more, but as of right now it's… I'm really, well, anxious about it. And… well. The main one, and the thing that has been pestering me _all_ f—freaking night. I-I—" he looks down at his plate, nerves getting the best of him. "I don't know if I _can_. The band told me I could, and my mom told me I probably could, but… I don't know how I'm supposed to know if I _can_."

"Alexander," his grandmother says immediately. He looks up at her and finds her smiling at him. "I have… watched you study century old texts, memorize policy after policy, research Beasigan law. I have seen you change the way you hold yourself, develop coping strategies for anxiety, step into who you are in ways that you never thought you could before this last month and a half. And I have seen your ideas for the future of your people, seen your care for your people, seen your heart for your people. I don't think there is anyone who can do this better than you _can_."

"My people?"

"They've just been waiting for you to arrive," she tells him, and Alex knows that she's speaking of the people of Beasiga.

He bites down on his lip and looks down at his chicken.

_His people_.

He… really likes the sound of that, actually.

The next few days fly by quickly, too quickly for Alex to really process. It's mainly because he's stressed, like, majorly so. He still hasn't come to a decision by Monday. He's at Willie's at his grandmother's suggestion, trying to decompress and relax, but it's not… it's not really working.

They're lying in Willie's bed watching a movie, but Alex isn't even sure what movie it is. Willie's head is pillowed on Alex's chest and Alex is running his fingers through Willie's hair. Willie's got one hand tucked underneath Alex's shirt, rubbing his side with his thumb, twitching his other fingers every once in a while, brushing against the side of Alex's back. It's nice and quiet and Alex wants to stay here forever but.

But the ball is tomorrow.

The ball is tomorrow and he still hasn't made up his mind.

For days now he's been asking people if they think he can do this. Obviously the band, his grandmother, his mom… but also his limo driver, also Tasha, also Alden and John and the security guards managing the consulate doors and a few of the other staff he'd gotten to know. He'd even emailed Mrs. Harrison and Principal Lessa. He'd texted a few of his friends from school that he mainly talked to in class. The overwhelming majority have been yeses. Alex doesn't know how many of those are genuine yeses, and how many just don't want to hurt his feelings. Not that his feelings would be hurt, because he's the one constantly telling himself that he _can't_ do this. A few people, like his mom, have said 'probably.' They've backed up their reasoning, though. They've said that no one really knows until they do something. They've said that Alex-before-prince lessons wouldn't have been able to but Alex-now probably could. They've said that as long as he keeps his head on straight. There haven't been any nos, but again, people might just not want to hurt his feelings.

He hasn't asked everyone though.

"Willie?" Alex whispers.

"Hm?"

Alex waits for a long moment. He's scared to ask, because he doesn't know what he wants Willie's answer to be. He wants Willie to be honest, but he desperately doesn't want to hear Willie say that Alex can't do this. Also more importantly, he doesn't know what he'll do with Willie's answer. What if Willie thinks he _can?_ Will that influence his choice?

Willie shifts his head on Alex's chest to look up at Alex, and he realizes he's taking too long. He draws in a deep breath, making Willie's head fall with his chest, and asks, "do you think I can do this?"

"The speech at the ball? Yeah, Alex, you'll be fine. You've been doing really great with your anxiety," Willie assures him, squeezing his side.

Alex sighs. "No. I mean, thanks but, I—being a prince. A king. Ruling a country. Do you think I can?"

Willie flips so he's on his stomach, his arm curled around Alex's waist. He shimmies up the bed until he's face to face with Alex and looks him in the eye. "Man, I don't know," he says, and Alex's heart starts to drop. "All I care about is whether or not you're willing. That's the important part. That's the part that's gonna make a difference."

Alex blinks.

So, he has to be willing.

… Well, is he?

The short answer is he doesn't know.

The long answer is that, first, Caleb Covington is next in line for the throne and Alex (and countless others) doesn't want him to take the throne. Alex is the only one who has the opportunity to stop him. By taking his rightful place as prince and eventually king, and then by eventually having a child, Caleb would no longer have his claim. Second, Beasiga is a country with strong ties to many countries around the world. It didn't survive for over three hundred years, over one hundred of those without an army, by being anti-social. Alex would have an opportunity to impact not only Beasiga, but also the world. It wouldn't be anything revolutionary or that would create world peace, but if he can take even a single step towards making even one country a better place for even one group of people… he thinks the entire thing would be worth it. Finally, Beasiga is full of people he cares about, even if he's never met them, and he wants to make their lives better. The people in the country are passionate and full of life and Alex can tell that just from hearing and reading about them, just from news stories, just from social media. He wants to make a difference, wants to leave a mark.

After that though, he has to think of the life he'd be giving up. Even if they managed to make things work, what are the chances he'd ever get to go on tour with the band? Slim to none. Security wouldn't hear of it, and he wouldn't have the time to leave for six months. Willie said he would stick with Alex, but what if things got too hard? What if the pressures of royalty were too much for Willie and he didn't want that anymore? And his future kid—kid _s?_ His mom and biological dad had hidden him from the royal world because they wanted him to live a "normal" childhood. What would a royal childhood mean for any children he'd have? One of them would grow up to be ruler of Beasiga one day and would be feeling the same pressure he is right now. They'd also be wondering if they could do it. Or—or maybe not. Maybe he was right when he said that rulers were born. Maybe the fact that he was thrown into this at such a late age is the reason he doubts himself so much.

And then—then he thinks… he can recite many Beasigan policies and when and why they were developed, he can quote multiple Beasigan laws and tell you when and where they were passed, and he can discuss Beasigan history back to _before_ the start of the country. And he's proud that he can do that and he likes that he can do that and he wants to learn even more about Beasiga. Over the last month and a half he's prepared for this. And it's not like he's going to become _king_ next week, just prince. He's still got plenty of time before he becomes king. He'd have time to graduate college before he becomes king, and in that time, he could learn plenty more about Beasiga's policies and laws and history, and even its people and culture and architecture and so much more.

But… he's scared.

There it is, he admits it now. Julie was right again, no one is surprised.

He's absolutely terrified.

Stepping into his role as prince means giving up the life he's known for sixteen years and accepting the life he's known for _one month_. It means giving up the life he expected and taking on the life he… well, that he couldn't have even dreamt up. And it means accepting something about himself that he really, really didn't want to accept.

That he is, in fact, a prince.

Being a prince, later king, makes him _separate_ from everyone else. It makes him somehow more untouchable to a certain group of people—actually, to most people. It takes away his normalcy. Beyond that, it puts him on a pedestal and in a spotlight and illuminates all of his flaws, all of his mistakes, all of his missteps and setbacks and failures.

A prince. Could he be that?

He technically _is_ , whether he likes it or not, but… if he accepts it, well… There'd be no going back. Is he willing to give up this life for that?

In economics, they learned about opportunity cost. It's the concept of what you miss gaining by opting for a different choice. For example, by going to school, a person is gaining knowledge, but the opportunity cost is that they're giving up a few extra hours of sleep. If they choose to go out with friends rather than study, they gain time with friends, but the opportunity cost is the hours they could have spent studying and the potential grade they could have gotten had they spent those hours studying instead. As Alex thinks on it, he wants to laugh. Those examples are accurate but they seem so insignificant compared to his situation. What's the opportunity cost if he decides to become a prince? What is it if he _doesn't?_ All he knows is that there are two things that Alex can't sacrifice in his choice. There are two things that he will not allow to be his opportunity cost. His band and…

Alex blinks up at Willie, who's suddenly even closer than before, and it doesn't take much at all for Alex to lean up and close the gap between them. Willie kisses him back, opening his mouth under Alex's lips and sighing. Alex presses back into the kiss, and slips a hand into Willie's hair and guides him deeper until they're both lost in each other. Alex feels his heart fluttering, hears their shaky breaths between kisses, and tastes traces of Willie's toothpaste on his breath. Willie has been with him through this all, and has pushed him not to do what he thinks he should do, but what he wants to do. Alex wants Willie, yes, but what he _really_ wants… he _wants_ Willie to be beside him in Beasiga.

He pulls back.

"I'm going to be Prince," he whispers.

Willie smiles. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

There's a long pause in the room, the only noise being the sound of whatever movie is playing in the background. Willie is staring at Alex, flicking his eyes over parts of Alex's face, searching for any sign of hesitation. He settles on Alex's eyes and gives Alex a weighted look.

"Love you, Prince Alex," Willie says, and then they're back to kissing, and Alex feels like these are the two best decisions he's ever made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a chapter and the epilogue to go! 
> 
> This chapter was one of the hardest to write. Like, I knew why he was choosing Beasiga, but putting that into words in a way that wouldn't leave the reader, who knows this character, feeling like it's completely out of character... that was intimidating, and I'm not even sure if I pulled it off. Because that was my biggest fear starting this fic: Alex choosing the throne at all would be out of character. But I think with the reassurance that he wouldn't lose his band, and the thought that he won't lose Willie, and his confidence that he could be a good prince/king, it makes sense for him in this 'verse.


	10. 'cause now we know what we're worth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Good luck tonight. I look forward to your speech.”
> 
> And that left him where he is now, completely sure that he has made a mistake in his decision.
> 
> He picks up his phone.
> 
> (15:54) lmao nvm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've reached the end of the main story! 
> 
> Thank you for the love. Always appreciated. <3 
> 
> Chapter title from Finally Free by Julie and the Phantoms.

Alex is _not_ going to be Prince.

He’s not sure why he said he was going to be in the first place because clearly it’s an absolutely ludicrous idea. Alex is barely a functioning human, he can’t be a _prince!_

He’s pacing his room, keeping his eyes averted from the charcoal grey suit that’s laid out on his bed. He’d just taken it out of its garment bag and it has been taunting him, as if saying _this is your future, you don’t belong._ And he doesn’t belong, does he? The suit is like nothing he’s ever worn, not even for the dinner a few weeks ago, and if he chooses to become prince this suit would just be the first of many, and—it’s too good for him. He’s not good enough for it. He’s not good enough to be Prince.

He looks at the clock. His driver is supposed to be here to get him in six minutes, but Alex hasn’t even started to get dressed. His family has already left for the Ball, and he’s got no idea what to do.

He might not be having these thoughts if it weren’t for his surprise visitor a few minutes ago, but then again, he might have ended up here no matter what. But, really, how else was he supposed to react after Caleb Covington shows up at his door and completely runs his spirit into the ground? His decision was already standing on pretty shaky legs this morning once he’d woken up, the high from last night gone. By the time he’d taken his anxiety medications, eaten breakfast, showered, and helped his family get ready he was already starting to doubt himself. He was planning a back up speech in his mind. And then—

“Alexander,” Caleb said from the front of his porch, leaning against one of the beams. Alex’s family had just left minutes before, so he was left to face Caleb alone. “How nice to see you.”

“Yeah,” Alex said, “it must be, considering you drove out of your way to come find me. What are you doing here?”

“Such insolence. I’m just here to congratulate you on your big night. Not everyone gets to speak at the Beasigan consulate. You’ll be up there addressing hundreds of people from all around the world; quite the feat for a sixteen year old with almost no formal training.” There was a glint in Caleb’s eye, as if he had known about Alex’s anxiety, knew that Alex’s stomach was flipping as soon as ‘hundreds of people’ left Caleb’s lips. “I just wanted to stop by and ask—“

Alex shook his head. “No,” he said, willing his stomach to settle. “No—okay, I know what you’ve been doing. Chasing down Willie, stalking him to get a read on me. It’s not going to work. You can’t make me do anything.” Caleb stares him down. Alex feels himself bending, as if he’d just disrespected a superior, but he doesn’t crack, doesn’t break.

“Stalking? Please. I just wanted to get to know William,” Caleb said. “He seemed to love skating the streets of Hollywood so much it wasn’t hard to find him. I just thought, as Speaker of the House of Crane, I should be working to get to know our possible future Prince Consort. After all, he’d be around the palace a lot. What with his… duties. Counseling you and charities. He seems the just the type for that, your William.”

Alex didn’t think too much on that in the moment, just crossed his arms and sighed. “My driver is going to be here in thirty minutes. I’ve got to finish getting ready.”

“I won’t keep you. But. The Beasigan people are strong and united,” Caleb hummed, looking down at his nails, studying them as if he’d been looking for any flaws that he might have to file or buff out before the ball that night. “They can be a bit… skeptical… of outsiders. So don’t let that get to you.”

Alex narrowed his eyes. “Really? As I recall, you’re the one who wanted to prevent outsiders from having a place in our country, not the people. And you were stopped. I’ve been nothing but welcomed by everyone I’ve met.”

“And you’ve met _how_ many people?” he asked with a flat voice. “Ten? Twenty? Thirty? Do they speak for our sixty thousand? They’re diplomats, they’re programmed to be polite, being diplomatic is quite literally in their name.” He shoved off the column and walked towards Alex. “But! I’m not here to try to intimidate you, no. I’m here to wish you all the best! Whatever you decide. Truly, Alexander. I just implore you to think.”

“What do you think I’ve been doing since my grandmother showed up in my life?” Alex shot back.

Caleb huffed a laugh. “That’s right.” He turns to leave, and then pauses. “Funny thing about ruling a country—no one _really_ knows what it’s like until they’ve been in that position. Even I don’t know what it’s like. I have experience in Parliament—and you have experience in… Well.” He tilted his head to the side and offered Alex a smile. “But you know what it’s like living a normal life. Your band, your friends, your boyfriend, all without the stress of…” He put his fingers together. “But I suppose you’re right. You have been thinking about it since Queen Louisa entered your life. And I’m sure you’ve considered all the angles, all the benefits and _especially_ the repercussions. You must have had plenty of time to do that, I imagine. After all, you’ve had a month and a half—why, that’s practically a lifetime to consider this. It’s not like you’ve only been given a week or two to make this decision.”

Alex tightened his arms around his chest. “Mr. Covington—“

“Caleb, please.”

“Caleb, I really must be getting ready. I will see you at the ball, all right?”

Caleb nodded. “Of course. You must excuse me, sometimes I forget myself.”

“It’s no worry,” Alex said, even though he could have been rude because no one but himself and Caleb were around. Manners were so deeply ingrained in him by that point that it just… happened.

“Good luck tonight. I look forward to your speech.”

And that left him where he is now, completely sure that he has made a mistake in his decision.

He picks up his phone.

_(15:54) lmao nvm_

Willie, wonderful Willie, calls within two minutes.

“Hello?” Alex answers.

“What happened?” Willie asks.

Alex sucks in a breath that gets caught in his throat. It turns into a sob. “Why did I think I could do this? I’m not—I’m not cut out for this. I wasn’t born to be a prince. I don’t know why I said I would be in the first place, that—that’s _so stupid_ , Willie, do you realize how stupid that is?”

“No,” Willie says, and then, away from the speaker, thanks someone. Alex hears a car door slam and an engine start. “No, I don’t Alex, because I think it’s a great idea.”

“Where’s the great idea?”

Willie hums. “Hidden behind a wall of anxiety.”

“Oh, cute,” Alex scoffs. “Anxiety saves lives, you know. There are times when your body is telling you something is wrong because it is.”

“Anxiety also keeps lives from being lived. Your body isn’t telling you this is _wrong_ , your body is telling you this is _dangerous_. And you believe it. You didn’t believe it last night when you weren’t anxious, Alex, and that tells me that you _want_ to do this.”

“I _want_ to do this?” Alex scoffs. “Willie, you don’t even know what you want to do with your life and you’ve got it so much more figured out than I do. And here I am deciding to sign my life away at sixteen to a country that I’ve never been to. A country that could choose to reject me at first sight. A country that I knew nothing about a month and a half ago.”

“A country that you love,” Willie reminds him.

“How can I love it when I’ve only known it for a month?”

“Because you’ve met its queen, and you love her heart and her hopes for the future. Because you’ve met its Prime Minister and you love his ideas and his plans for the future. Because you’ve seen its people and you love them—for all that they stand for and all that they are, and because they are good people and they deserve a good leader, and that’s what you will be.”

Alex doesn’t have anything to say to that, so he keeps his mouth shut. He does love Beasiga, but it feels impossible that he does even with all the reasons that Willie just explained. He’s never even been there. Los Angeles is all Alex has known and Beasiga is 1.5% of Los Angeles’ population and Los Angeles is nearly three and half times the size of Beasiga. And Alex _likes_ Los Angeles because it’s easy to disappear and everyone is so busy they don’t have time to notice you. Alex has only experienced Beasiga through stories and media, but he knows it’s not like Los Angeles over there. People say hi when they pass you on the street, they help you if you’re struggling to carry something too heavy, and they don’t let you fade into the background. He—he likes that, but it also terrifies him.

The silence stretches on over the phone, occasionally interrupted by Willie’s turn signal or the honking of another car, but after a few minutes, Willie breaks it. “You’re wrong, you know. I do know what I want to do with my life.”

… That’s a new development. “Yeah? What’s that?”

“Be Prince Consort to Beasiga’s King,” he says without missing a beat. Alex’s heart skips a beat. “Spend my days helping you help make Beasiga, and the world, a better place. Continue to help move Beasiga forward.”

“Willie…” Alex sighs. He’s torn on being ecstatic and worried at hearing that. “You’re just being—“

“Don’t say I’m just being impulsive,” Willie cuts him off, “because I have been thinking about this since the night you first told me you were a prince. I’ve known I loved you for a long time, Alex, and I’ve been thinking about what this would mean for _me_ since the beginning. I’ve done my research, I’ve thought it through, I’ve sat on it. I’m not just jumping at it first chance.”

Caleb’s words come back to him. _He seems just the type for that, your William_. No. No he doesn’t. Willie is an active mind, an active body, an active soul. He’s not meant to sit still next to Alex. “Don’t you think you deserve more than that? That if you choose that, you’ll wake up one day and regret it?”

“No,” Willie says, voice confident. “I was never going to make a career out of skateboarding or dance, and it’s not like I can’t still do those in Beasiga. If I’m doing a psych degree in college I’ll maybe look at being a therapist? And who knows, maybe part of helping move Beasiga forward is allowing me to have my own career path separate from my consort duties.”

“What if that doesn’t work? If you’re stuck being a consort without your own career?”

“Being a therapist is just an idea right now,” Willie reminds him. Alex can hear the casual tone of his voice, and it tells Alex that it really _is_ just an idea, that it isn’t something Willie has his heart set on. Still, Alex wants that for him. “I have no idea if I actually want to pursue it or not. But if I do and it ends up not working out, then I’ll still have skateboarding. I’ll still have dance. I’ll still have the ability to make an impact in the world, make differences in peoples days and lives, work with charities, leave my mark. It’s not like I’ll be sitting bored every day. Consorts may have less to do but they don’t have _nothing_ to do. And I can make up my own things to do. Move Beasiga forward. And… I’ll still have you.”

“… And you’re willing to do that for me?”

“I mean, it’s not _just_ for you, it’d be for me, and even in part for Beasiga too, but… yeah.” It’s so simple for Willie to admit that. To say that he’d move to another country, adapt to a different culture, and learn the ins and outs of the country so he could properly advise Alex on how to properly rule that country. Willie’s always made comments—‘I told you, I’d do anything for you’—but Alex had never realized how literal he was being. But, well. If Alex is being honest, he’ll do almost anything for Willie, too. He knows there are things that both he and Willie would draw the line at, but neither he nor Willie would ever dream of asking the other of those things. Like Willie asking Alex to quit the band or Alex asking Willie to give up skateboarding. But Willie moving to Beasiga and serving as Prince Consort along side Alex? Is apparently something Willie will readily do. “If it’ll make you feel better, after you accept your place as Prince we can start talking to Louisa about changing the consort’s duties, so when the time comes, if I want to pursue a career, I’ll have that choice.”

“That… would actually make me feel better,” Alex admits.

“Then tomorrow, after your speech today accepting your place as Prince, we’ll discuss it with Louisa and see what she thinks. Good?”

“Good,” Alex says. Then—“hey. Wait. I still don’t—I still can’t—who said I was going to accept being prince?”

“All right, hit me,” Willie says, and then Alex does—words spilling out of him so quickly that he loses track of what he’s saying. Willie doesn’t though. He listens to Alex patiently and talks him through all of his fears, all of his anxieties. He reminds him of the reasons that, just yesterday, he decided he wanted to be Beasiga’s Prince. Willie listens as Alex questions those exact reasons, and then answers them himself without any input from Willie until it’s entirely a one-sided conversation and Willie is just along for the ride. When Alex comes to the conclusion he still wants to be Prince, Willie asks him how he feels about that, and listens to Alex stammer through half-finished sentences that don’t make sense. And when Alex calms down again, Willie is there to ask Alex if he’s okay, ask him how he can help, ask him if there’s anything he needs.

“No,” Alex shakes his head. “No, I… I’m okay. I think I really, actually am.”

“Okay,” Willie says, accepting his word easily. “All right, I’m turning on your street, come let me inside.”

“You—you’re here?”

“Where else did you think I was going?” Willie demands sounding slightly offended. “Of course I am. I’m gonna get rid of your driver and then we’ll drive to the Ball together, all right? Come unlock the door and start getting ready. I’ll be in in a minute. Where’s your room?”

“Take the stairs, go down the hall and it’s the one on the right.”

“All right. See you in a few.”

Alex does as he’s told and by the time he’s in his dress pants and slipping his button up over his arms, Willie steps into his room. Alex watches as Willie turns and shuts the door even though they’re home alone, and then walks over to him. He takes his place in front of Alex who is straightening his shirt on his shoulders and starting to button it up. They stare at each other, silent. Willie nods, murmurs, “you’re okay.”

Alex buttons up the last button of his shirt and tucks it into his pants. “Yeah,” he says. He reaches to his bed for his vest and slides it over his shoulders. He starts to button it up but Willie’s hands knock his away and take over. Alex watches him with careful eyes. “I’m sorry if I freaked you out.”

“You didn’t freak me out,” he says. He does up one, two, three buttons then smooths his hand down from Alex’s chest to his stomach. “I’m just… I’m kind of pissed at myself that I didn’t think of this. I should have expected this. I _know_ you. It took you so long to decide; you didn’t have enough time to be _sure_ of your decision. I should have known you were going to doubt yourself. You just… you were so sure of yourself last night. I didn’t think—”

“Hey,” Alex frowns, dipping his head down to look in Willie’s eyes. He doesn’t want to tell him about Caleb, not right now, not before the ball. He’ll tell him tomorrow, but right now, he needs Willie, and Willie would be livid if he learned about Caleb. “It’s not like this is on you. Even if you had thought if it, there isn’t anything you could have done—“

“I could have been here,” Willie argues, gripping the suit vest and pulling Alex closer. “I wouldn’t have had to talk you through it from my car. You wouldn’t have had to be alone.”

Alex sighs and reaches a hand up to Willie’s jaw so he can bring Willie’s face up to his. He presses their lips together and feels Willie melt against his front. Alex pulls away and lets Willie fall into him. “You were there when I needed you and that’s all that I needed. I mean, you’re going off to college next year anyway; I’m going to need to learn to survive without you at some point. I can’t depend on you for everything, and I _really_ can’t depend on you to predict when something is going to go wrong and wait for you to fix it for me.”

“But if I can—“

“Willie,” Alex says, and then kisses him again. “You’re the reason I’m in this suit right now ready to go tell a whole ass group of people that I’ve decided I’m going to _rule_ a whole other ass group of people in a few years. You’ve done absolutely everything you can.” Then he pulls away from Willie’s hold, eyes widening. “Shit. _Shit._ My speech.” He looks at the clock on his bedside table. 5:13 “I’m supposed to be giving a speech in seventeen minutes, fuck!”

“I texted Julie when I got here. She’s finding someone so she can tell Louisa what’s going on,” Willie tells him in a calm voice. “She might have already, okay? Get your jacket and tie on, get your shoes on, and I’ll go call her for an update.”

“Okay,” Alex breathes, and does exactly as Willie says.

When he emerges from his room three minutes later, Willie is standing by his front door with his hands in his pockets. He looks up, takes a hand from his pocket, and holds up a thumb and pinky at Alex telling him right away to relax. “We’re good, dude. Speech is at 6:30 now. It’s still a drive though, and we’ve gotta take Melrose to avoid 10 so we don’t hit rush hour on the highway, but it’s still gonna be shitty so we’ve gotta go now.”

What should be a twenty-minute drive ends up taking nearly an hour, so they spend the time devising a plan to talk to his grandmother about Willie’s hypothetical consort duties the next day. Willie starts telling Alex that they can wait, but Alex tells him no. If Willie is committing to Alex to this degree, then Alex wants to make sure that there won’t be any doors shut in Willie’s future. If Willie wants to be a therapist, he’s _going to be a fucking therapist_. Alex is sure his grandma will help them make it happen. She’s asked Willie what his plans for college are; yet she’s also made implications that he would be the one standing by Alex’s side if Alex were to be King. Why would she do that if she thought Willie would just be a piece at Alex’s side?

When they get to the consulate, Willie pulls them around back and down a driveway that Alex has never taken note of before. When Willie notices his confusion he says, “the press and guests are all… mingling in the halls.”

Alex snorts. “Did you just say _mingling?_ ”

“Yeah,” Willie grins. “It’s what Alden said on the phone. Now it’s all I can think of.”

They enter through the caterer’s entrance into a hall that Alex has never been down and Alden is there waiting for them. He greets them both and then leads the way through the hall, down another, and then another, until Alex can see his grandmother, John, and a few other people waiting at the end of the hall they turn into. He feels relief wash through him and, when his grandmother turns to look at him, he can see that same relief run through her as well.

“Oh, thank goodness,” she breathes out when they reach them. She steps forward and collects Alex into a hug, and then Willie, too. “ _Thank you_ , Willie, for sending Julie to inform me of what was going on.”

“No problem,” he shrugs. “I’m just glad it all worked out.”

“What on earth _happened?_ ” she demands, looking to Alex.

“Uh, _minor_ crisis. Just… clearing my head, you know.” Next to him, Willie snorts.

“Clearing your head?” she asks.

“Uh… yes?”

She rolls her eyes and tosses her hands up in exasperation. “Well I hope your head clearing worked, because we go on in five minutes. Did you make a decision?”

His eyes flick to Willie. “Yeah. I did.”

“… do I get to _know_ this decision?”

“You know? I waited sixteen years to find out I was a prince. You can wait five more minutes to find out whether I’m staying a prince.”

“Harsh,” Willie murmurs, but reaches forward to hook his pinky with Alex’s.

His grandmother looks down at their hands. She looks back up at Alex and shakes her head with a frown, but the effect is ruined a moment later when she breaks into laughter. “I suppose I can’t blame you for that one.”

They fall into casual conversation after that, his grandmother talking about Tasha and how she’d been asking about Willie today and admitted that he had beautiful hair that she wanted to mess around with. Alex laughs at that and Willie does too, but he notices his boyfriend’s face is several shades darker that it had been moments ago. John talks about how they had to remove two reporters for getting in a physical altercation, and seems gleeful while discussing it. Alden is all too interested in listening to the story, and is crestfallen when, in the middle of it, someone comes to retrieve them for the speech. They’re led down the hallway and as they go, the murmurings of voices grow. Alex can feel himself grow more and more tense realizing that he’s going to be under their gazes soon. Willie uses his pinky to drag Alex’s hand up, and then twists their hands in midair until their fingers are twined together.

“You’ll be fine,” he whispers.

His voice catches the attention of Alex’s grandmother who turns around and sees the look on Alex’s face. She relaxes her shoulders and reaches out, tapping her hands gently to his cheeks. “My dear, you will do _wonderfully_. I will be right up there with you, all right?” He nods. “Good. Now, I must go introduce you. You have a few minutes to prepare.” She turns to Willie. “Remind him how spectacular he is, will you?”

“On it.”

And then she’s gone.

“Hey,” Willie says, and Alex looks at him with wide eyes. “Hey. You with me?” He nods. “Good. Okay, so—you’re anxious right now because you’re about to give a speech and you think they’re going to be judging you for your speech, right? But those people out there are just out there to hear you step into your role as Prince. Alex, this is a _good_ thing. Those people out there will be excited. They’re here to listen to you speak, not to judge you.”

“What if my speech sucks so bad they can’t help but judge me?” Alex asks.

“It won’t.”

“But _what if_.”

“Then fuck it—you had a bad speech. Everyone has bad performances. You’ve messed beats up during performances with the band and you don’t let _those_ get to you, you brush them off and are ready to play the next gig. You remember when I was in tenth grade and kicked my shoe off into the audience during a performance and then kept slipping on the stage on my sock? It happened, it couldn’t be helped, we moved on. _I_ moved on. If—and that’s a big if—you suck today, you’ll move on too, I promise, okay? I _promise_. And I’ll help you move on.” Willie leans up on his toes and kisses Alex. “You can do this, Alex. You know you can do this.”

Alex looks down at Willie and sees sincere, brown eyes staring up at him. He drags Willie in for a hug and just… just holds him. Willie returns the hug and pushes his face into Alex’s shoulder and they simply exist together surrounded by each other in a little bubble. He uses Willie’s breathing, working to match his own to it so he doesn’t start to get worked up again. Willie’s fingers are curled into his upper back and the pressure is just enough to ground him, just enough to keep him _here_ and not somewhere far away in his mind where it really _is_ just the two of them.

The bubble is popped a few minutes later when Alden returns to escort Alex to the makeshift stage. He’s reluctant as he pulls away from Willie, and Willie and Alden both know it, but the important thing is that he manages it. He nods at Alden and they start towards the stage, Willie at his side, right up until they reach the entrance to the hall. “I love you,” he whispers, and then stops in his tracks, leaving Alex to twirl around in surprise. He laughs, shooing Alex towards the stage. “ _Go_.” Alex turns, casts a look back at Willie, and then walks forward.

As Alex steps out from the back hall and feels the weight of a room full of eyes fall on him, a fire roars to life in his gut, flaring up through his throat and leaving a bad taste in his mouth. Spots dance in his vision during his walk to his grandmother, but he takes a moment to think about his breathing, takes a moment to draw in a deep, full breath, filling his lungs with air, and the spots recede little by little. When he reaches his grandmother, they’re all but gone. She smiles at him and extends an arm out, sweeping her hand out to motion to the crowd, and Alex looks out. The fire burns hotter and he looks back to his grandmother. “You have the floor,” she says, and then retreats back several feet away. He wants to reach out, bring her back, cling on to her for support, but he can’t. He steps up behind the podium and looks back to the hallway he’d just come from and meets Willie’s eyes. Willie smiles at him and gives him and encouraging nod. Alex turns back to the crowd, where every eye is focused on him. He thinks: everyone is looking at him because he’s here to speak, not to judge him. He swallows, glances back at Willie once more, and quells the flame to the best of his ability.

“Hi, uh, I’m Alex. You… probably… all know that since my grandma just introduced me. Sorry. I—uh, kinda wish I had my drums, heh,” Alex laughs, running his fingers through his hair. “I’m, uh, no good with being in the spotlight, or, uh, attention in general, um, not unless I’m behind my drums. Or… uh… it’s really more me being with my band…” He looks out at the crowd and is pleasantly surprised when he finds Julie, Luke, and Reggie’s eyes right in the front, and Flynn standing next to them. They’re all wearing radiant smiles and directing them towards Alex, and the flame recedes further down his throat on its own, and he feels himself relax back into his shoes. “Which, thankfully for me, they’re the best band ever and they’re here with me today, so, uh, no fainting or vomiting for me today. Oh—I didn’t need to add that, did I? O… kay. Uh. Anyways. Uh, I’m sure most of you know me, or at least of me, if you’re here. I’m Queen Louisa’s grandson, and Prince Frederick’s son. If you didn’t know this, yeah, neither did I a month and a half ago. Heh. I was shocked too. But, yeah, I’ve gotten used to it. Hopefully you will too.

“Uh, so. Beasiga is celebrating its three hundred and sixth formation day today. For one of the first times, the reigning monarch is not in the country to celebrate with the citizens. Instead, she is here, in the Beasiga consulate in Los Angeles, California, United States of America, with all of us. And she is here because of me.” He looks over to where his grandmother is standing off to the side, her hands folded over her midriff and her shoulders set tall and proud. The fire subsides further. She smiles at him, a motion for him to continue. “Um, my grandmother came at the end of October to meet me and begin teaching me the ins and outs of Beasiga and what it meant to be a prince and what it would later mean to be a king. She dedicated her time here to me not for _me_ , but for Beasiga. Uh, and she did it in hopes that I would become the person she envisioned me to be, in hopes that I would step up, accept my claim to the throne, and rule Beasiga justly and fairly, exactly as she has been teaching me to do.

“What she didn’t expect to come across when she got here was a sixteen year old kid with anxiety who immediately ran away from the idea of being a prince. And I do mean that literally. I, uh. I ran out of the consulate after she told me I would be Prince and had to have my friend come pick me up.” The crowd laughs, some with humor, some unsure, and Alex smiles. Alex turns to look back at the hallway where Willie is still tucked away. He smiles at him and Willie smiles back. It’s only embers left in his gut, now. “Hm. Anyway. Yeah, so, uh, she didn’t expect that, but it’s what she got, and she helped turn that kid with anxiety into the kid who… still very much has anxiety, but can stand up here speaking with all of you. Yes, it’s still terrifying, but it’s not debilitating anymore. And she also gave me a choice. To use everything she gave me to rule Beasiga, or to use it in some other facet of life.” He draws in a deep breath. “I chose to use it elsewhere. I was never cut out to be a prince. I never in a million years dreamed that I could.

“But— _could_. Could is a word that is used to indicate possibility. Thanks for the vocab help, Google. So… Would it even be _possible_ for me to rule Beasiga? I don’t know. I didn’t know. Even if I wanted to, I didn’t know if it was possible, or if I was able. Able. Be able to. The question became _can I?_ I doubted myself, and I started asking myself that question a lot more often. And then I started asking other people. Their answers varied. Most were encouraging which wasn’t helpful because it’s not like someone’s going to tell you that you’re going to suck at ruling a country, right? Yeah, no. I surround myself with kind people, but sometimes, kind people don’t tell you what you need to hear. But then—there’s one person. I asked him, I went, ‘do you think I can?’ And he said, ‘man, I don’t know. I just care about whether or not you’re willing.’” Alex says, pausing for a long moment. “So, it became a matter of whether I was willing, which was a much, _much_ easier question to answer. Because, well, yeah. I am willing.

“I’m willing to study Beasigan history, politics, government, culture, and anything and everything else there is to know about Beasiga to know the country as best I can. I’m willing to grow myself as a person and conquer fears that once held me hostage to know myself as best I can. I’m willing to put aside my fears and confront uncertainty to find a place for myself in this world. But I’m also willing to dedicate myself to Beasiga through the good times and the bad. I’m also willing to work at finding ways of moving Beasiga forward, at leading Beasiga into even better times than it is already in, which of course will be a challenge, as my grandmother is quite the Queen. And most importantly, I’m also willing to choose the people of Beasiga over myself.

“I prematurely chose to use the skills my grandma gave me in a different walk of life. But today and every day moving forward I will choose to use them for the country and people of Beasiga.” There’s a whoop out in the crowd that Alex can identify as Reggie’s and he can’t stop himself from grinning at his friend. However, the cheer from Reggie starts the rest of the crowd, and now the rest of them are cheering and clapping as well. Alex watches, waiting for them to quiet down. When they do, he looks over to his grandmother and smiles. It’s easier than he could have ever imagined to say, “Moving forward, I will be Alexander Charles Taylor Mercer, Prince of Beasiga.”

Once more, cheers rise from the crowd in front of him. His grandmother walks up beside him and he steps out from behind the podium to meet her. She surprises him when she pulls him in to a hug in front of all these people, but he returns it without any hesitance.

When she pulls away, there’s a man waiting beside them, a royal purple and white mantle held in his arms. His grandmother takes it from the man and turns to Alex. He leans down so she can drape it over his shoulders. It weighs heavy on his shoulders and while he’s leaning down next to her he mutters, “do I have to wear this thing often?”

“Just for the next few minutes. Then you won’t see it again until your coronation.”

“Oh, thank god.”

His grandmother laughs and he stands back up, standing beside her with his shoulders tall and proud. The audience is still cheering—he can pick out Luke, Reggie, Julie, and Flynn’s voices in particular—and there are cameras flashing as news reporters get photographs for their articles. There’s a loud whooping from off to the side, separate from the crowd, and Alex looks over to see Willie cupping his hands around his mouth, cheering. He laughs, beaming at his boyfriend who returns the expression right back, and Alex feels on top of the world.

Dinner is served in the ballroom after that, which sends a wave of guilt through Alex as he knows the kitchens plan meals down to the minute, and his delay must have thrown them off horribly. Even so, the food is wonderful and Alex gets to sit with Willie, his band, and Flynn—or, sorry, his “honored guests.” His grandmother is sat at the table next to him with John, Alden, another commercial attaché, and Jeffry and Daniel. She sends him looks every few minutes, especially when Luke or Reggie get too loud, but they’re never bad, merely amused.

After dinner he’s passed from reporter to reporter while the tables and chairs are cleared out of the ballroom and the floor is swept. Alex imagines that it’s going to take forever, but to his surprise it only takes about fifteen minutes between all the staff working. So he only gets to talk to about five reporters, each for about three minutes, and then he’s being taken back to the hall so he can enter with his grandmother separately.

The music playing is an even tempo, one that Alex has become accustomed to dancing to over the past month and a half. When he and his grandmother enter together, right away his eyes begin searching for Willie. He can’t find him even by the time they reach the center of the room, so he releases her hand and leaves her to go off dancing with whoever has approached her and begins walking circles. He has a flash of anxiety that Willie might have left—maybe Willie didn’t want to be seen with Alex as a couple in front of so many cameras? Or even he knew Alex’s dad was here, maybe he didn’t want to upset the man? Or maybe he realized—

The crowd parts to the left of Alex and Willie steps out. Alex’s heart flutters in his chest and he feels the smile take over his face, sees Willie match it.

They approach each other slowly, not hesitantly, just taking their time to look at each other, which Alex feels like he hasn’t done yet. Willie is in a maroon suit with grey accents and a white under shirt. It’s not fitted to him—not the way that Alex’s is, the way Alex’s almost hugs him. Willie’s is a bit big, a bit baggy, but still fits him well enough that you wouldn’t notice if you weren’t staring. His hair is down, falling over his shoulders and coming to rest right above where his ribs begin, and Alex reaches out to grab a piece of the end of his hair, twirling it on his finger. “You look good,” he says.

“Just noticing?”

“Do you forget I was having my crisis earlier?”

Willie grins. “Right, the minor one.”

“Very minor, it all turned out okay in the end.”

“Good to hear.”

Alex drops the strand of hair he’s holding and steps back, bowing deliberately. Willie smiles and copies him. They straighten up and step into each other’s arms, relaxing into their holds.

“They’re taking pictures of us,” Willie murmurs and Alex can hear the clicking of the cameras too. “Everyone is going to know by tomorrow.”

“I’m glad. I don’t want anyone to feel like I was hiding this from them,” he says. “And I certainly don’t want to hide you.” He presses his lips against Willie’s forehead and sighs. He tips his head forward so his nose is pressed against Willie’s hairline. “Just think,” he whispers, and his voice is barely audible to even the two of them over the music. “Tomorrow plenty of people all over the world are going to see these pictures and realize how fucking in love with you I am.”

Willie pulls away from Alex and stares up at him with bright eyes full of… full of so much. Full of trust, full of care, full of respect, full of warmth, full of acceptance, full of want. “I’m gone on you,” Willie says, reaching up and dragging Alex’s head down for a kiss. Alex goes, and they keep it chaste and appropriate for the venue, but. It was needed.

When they pull apart, Alex pulls Willie closer to him again and Willie buries his face in Alex’s shoulder as they abandon all pretenses of the traditional ballroom dance and decide to simply sway together. Alex holds Willie and looks up, looking around the room to find nearly every eye on them. The eyes of his friends, his family, the press, diplomatic leaders from around the world, and his new country’s government leaders are all on him and Willie. They just saw them kiss. He laughs and thinks, with a sense of déjà vu, yeah, he’d stare at whoever was kissing Willie too.

No fire burns in his gut, no panic wells in his veins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now just the epilogue is left! 
> 
> Here's a little cluster fuck of notes: 
> 
> Little fun fact: When I was writing this fic, the country name was, predictably, XYZ. But about 20k words in, an idea came to me. Alex feels tormented by nearly the entire world for the majority of this fic. His anxiety, his grandmother, his lessons and duties, his guilt, the media, his school, Caleb, etc etc. But in the end, he conquered it all. He came out on top. So I wanted to honor that in some way, beyond him just stepping into his role as prince. “Besiege” is defined: crowd around oppressively; surround and harass. Beasiga comes from besiege. Alex steps into his role as prince, and will one day rule Beasiga—where as an endless besiege used to rule him. I mean, it didn’t have to go that deep, but I have NO idea how to name countries, so. I went that deep. 
> 
> I seriously considered making Caleb capture Willie in this and hold him hostage for the throne, and then I realized that… Beasiga would not support him as a king if that is how he got the throne. There were a few other options I considered as well (black mail, psychological warfare (which is _briefly_ in this chapter but I mean like… full on, all out, no holds), etc), but I also really just wanted to keep this truer to the movie and keep it largely a fluff piece. So he just remained a driving factor for Alex’s decision in taking his place as prince. I would LOVE to write a fic one day where I really get to use Caleb’s nastiness, it just… it wasn’t this fic for me. :( 
> 
> Since there’s a time skip for the epilogue, here are some bonus things that didn’t get included in the fic since they happened after. Some (most) will be referenced in the epilogue but will not be expanded upon: 
> 
> \- Willie goes to Berkeley for a psychology undergrad and then stays there for a Clinical Psych PhD. I don’t know much about psych or dissertations but I think if it were possible, for his dissertation he’d try to do something related to diplomats and how their lifestyle affected their mental health? Idk that may not be a realistic topic but it's a thought I had. 
> 
> \- Alex goes to Stanford for their International Relations program after discussions with the admissions office. Even with outstanding grades, test scores, and AP classes, he’s still lacking the extra curriculars and volunteer work and work experience and so on and so forth that other applicants have. However, he’s also meeting and speaking with foreign diplomats and has more experience in the field than any of their other applicants which can arguably make up for where his application is lacking in other areas. 
> 
> \- During his college years, Alex lives in Beasiga in the summer and winters, and spends his spring break with Willie’s family. He visits Ava and Austin during his spring break and regularly video chats with them while at college. His parents get occasional texts from him, he'll video chat his mom on holidays. Willie lives in Beasiga in the summer apart from the first two weeks and splits his winter break between his parents and there. 
> 
> \- As Willie’s first Christmas gift, Louisa has a skate park constructed just outside the palace grounds for him—not _on_ the palace grounds though because Willie wants others to be able to use it as well. 
> 
> \- Alex proposes in Beasiga the summer before his senior year of college, the year before Willie’s first year of grad school. He has a massive speech about knowing that they’re going to have to wait but that he doesn’t care, about wanting Willie to know he has a place waiting for him at the end of grad school, about wanting Willie to know that Alex chooses him just as much as he chooses Beasiga. Willie of course says yes but he’s kinda (not actually) pissed because he was going to wait until Alex actually graduated from college to propose but the lil shit beat him to it. 
> 
> \- The band moves to Beasiga after college and live there unless they’re a) recording or b) touring. Alex has time set aside specifically for creating new music. He doesn’t slack off in his Kingly Duties to do this. The band also recognize that his role as King comes first and if there’s ever an emergency, he gets a free pass with legit ZERO questions asked. Alex has a music room in the palace where he has professional recording equipment so he can send demos to their label from Beasiga, but he still tries to make it to LA for recording, even if it’s just two really, really intensive weeks. Obviously he can’t go on tour with them but they do find a really awesome dude to play with them on tour. His name is Owen and he’s just as skilled on the drums, sounds pretty close vocally, and looks similar enough if you squint.


	11. on the edge of great

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Willie, his fiancé, blinks up at him with a small smile on his face. Alex is angry at just how pathetic a word fiancé feels in this moment. "One more year," Alex says, bringing a hand up to curl around Willie's jaw.
> 
> "Oh thank fuck only one more year and then I'm done with this shit for good," Willie breathes, and this time he's the one who falls into Alex, boneless.
> 
> Alex laughs, dropping his hand. "I meant before we get married, but that too."
> 
> "I knew that," Willie lies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you remember in the chapter 5 end notes when I said there was about 32k of story left? So the 23k of main story turned into about 27k and the 9k of epilogue turned into about 13k. … Oops? The original plan was for a 45k fic, that turned into a 56k fic, and now it’s a 62k fic. Well. It’s done growing at least. (That might be a lie. I might revamp the earlier chapters. Nothing plot wise! Just adding some life to them, making the flow a bit easier, etc.) 
> 
> Sorry it’s late! I fully HAD intended to post this EARLY actually, like around noon EST, but I completely forgot how busy today was for me. I was out all morning for appointments and then I had class and then I had to edit and I wanted to give it one last go over and… that took a lil while. So. I’m sorry. 
> 
> Anyways. This fic took on a life of it’s own when I started to write it. I started and finished it in six? seven? days (of course I've made plenty of edits, but the 56k mentioned above was done in six/seven days). I had a solid idea of the type of story I wanted to tell, but little idea of how I wanted to tell that story. That all came as I started writing. I’m… happy? with what came out. I think, like with every author, there are things that I’ll never be happy with as a writer, and I know that. I kind of wish I had waited to post it because looking back, my biggest regrets are in the early chapters. As stated above, I added quite a bit to these later chapters that I feel gave them ~~more. It’s not like I was adding entire scenes, I was just changing things around to make them feel more true to character, or adding in life where it felt dry. But overall I can say I’m pleased with what I did with this fic, especially in the time that I did it. I hope you guys are pleased with it too. 
> 
> As always, thank you for the love. I'm so glad y'all enjoyed that ending, and I hope you love this epilogue, and all of the one shots that will be following. 
> 
> Chapter title from Edge of Great by Julie and the Phantoms.

"Sorry!" a voice cries, paired with something brushing past him on the stairs, and a tiny girl carrying a binder with the Beasigan flag on the front looks back at him. When she sees who he is she freezes and her jaw drops. "Your Highness—I'm _so_ sorry, I'm just—I'm just—I-I'm running late, and I—and I—"

Alex laughs, holding a hand up to stop her before she completely breaks. "There's genuinely no reason to apologize. You barely touched me, and like you said, you're running late. It's fine."

"Are you—are you sure? I really am so—"

"I am sure," Alex smiles. "And I'm also sure you're probably going to be more late for whatever you were running to if you stay here, aren't you?" She nods. "It's fine. I'm fine, I promise. Go on."

She squeaks out a thank you and finishes running down the steps, jumping nearly three feet out of the way when Willie appears at the bottom of the stairs. Willie turns to watch her run away and then, once she's out the palace doors, looks up at Alex. "You didn't ask her name? What happened to 'I want to know all of my citizens, I want to know everyone working here'?"

"Did you _see_ her?" Alex asks, climbing down the final stairs until he's standing on the last one above the ground floor. "If I asked that girl for her name she'd think I was asking for it to use it for disciplinary action."

"Hm. Yeah, you're right, actually," Willie agrees.

"Now you say it," Alex huffs.

Willie furrows his eyebrows together, confused, and then his face smooths out, a look of realization appearing on his face. "I didn't _make_ the spelling Alex! Considering how we got on the topic that must be obvious. It's just spelled that way!"

"Well that way is stupid so I refuse to accept it," he says and hops off the final step, heading down the hall. "I just—I think if you're going to have a family of _bears_ named Berenstain, they should be named _Bear_ enstain."

Willie follows a few paces behind. "I know, but—"

"There are literally no buts to be used here," Alex tells him. "It was a glitch in the world's coding and I'm choosing to ignore that glitch."

Willie hurries his steps and slips his hand into Alex's. "I'm good with that since you're letting me ignore the glitch where they switched from Beren _stein_ to Beren _stain_ ," he says. Then, "hey, Julie wanted me to remind you we're going over theirs tonight."

"I know you're just trying to change the subject, but I actually genuinely forgot about that, so I'll let it pass this time," Alex says. He's not looking at Willie, can barely even see him out of the corner of his eye, but he swears he can _feel_ Willie smiling next to him. Ten years of being in love and nearly eight years of dating can do that to a person apparently. "We might have to be late, though. _Because_ I forgot, I agreed to meet with Jeffry after our final taste test for the entrees later. He wants to go over the numbers for our social insurance fund proposal so we can start working on it come next Monday."

"As long as you don't take too long," Willie squeezes Alex's hand. "They may never get on your ass about your duties but _I_ know you could just as easily put that meeting off until next Monday. Just because you're becoming King this Saturday doesn't mean you need to be doing everything all at once. You're having a hard enough time keeping up with answering all of the planners' requests."

"I have you to answer half of them for me," Alex says. "And Grandma to answer the other half."

"So you're answering none of them?"

"… no, they all still come to me anyways."

"Why don't you reschedule with Jeffry?" Willie murmurs, coming to an abrupt stop. He pulls Alex to a stop with the grip he's got on his hand and reels him in. Alex goes without a fight, lifts his free hand up to lie on Willie's chest. Willie looks up at him. "The social insurance fund increase won't even roll out until next year, so you've got time. I go back to the States in three and a half weeks—" Alex closes his eyes, breathes out, and drops his head down "—and—and I feel like I've barely gotten to see you between all the running around we've both been doing. And _neither_ of us has seen the group in the last two weeks for more than five minutes at a time. Just… take one night off. You're not a shit king because you went to see your friends."

Alex sways forward blindly until he's leaning on Willie who supports him fully. Because, well, that's what Willie does. Supports him. It doesn't matter if it's figuratively or literally. Willie will physically support him by slipping a shoulder under Alex's arm when he's sat at his desk too long poring over policy issues. Or he will vocally support Alex's proposal at a meeting. Or he will mentally support Alex when Alex wonders if perhaps he made the wrong decision all those years ago, if he was never cut out to be Prince or King. Willie is there to support him in Beasiga and Alex always dreads the sudden disappearance of Willie at the end of summer.

Willie is in his final year of his Doctoral program—well, technically he's completed his program, he only has his internship left—so this will be their final year of separation thankfully, but it's also going to be their hardest Alex thinks. Ever since Alex graduated from college, his grandmother has been pushing him further and further into the role of King until last year she decided she was stepping down as Queen and allowing Alex to take his place. So not only will Willie be going through one of his hardest years through his internship—though thankfully his dissertation is completed and out of the way—but… Alex will also be going through his first year as King without Willie by his side, and he… he's not looking forward to that.

And, listen, he knows he has to exist without Willie sometimes. He's gotten quite good at it throughout college and the past few years. At college, even though they had been close to each other—Alex at Stanford and Willie at Berkeley—they were still both focused on their courses and limited how often they saw each other. This also allowed them to make new friends so they weren't dependent on each other's company, even though they were only an hour apart. And then the past few years, the third week of August to the third week of May, they were pulled apart again—though this time Alex had his band with him, as they had moved to Beasiga after college. He was kept plenty busy with his duties, learning the ins and outs of ruling Beasiga, meeting his people, learning his land. So—like he said. He can exist without Willie. He learned to cope with his anxiety without him. They're not codependent, they know how to survive outside of one another. It's just… Willie made it all easier. Willie made it all better. That's okay. That's not a bad thing. It's just the truth.

Plus, he's here to pick up on all of Alex's insecurities and dumb worries—like the fact that if he chooses his friends over his work, he's a shit king.

" _Fine_ ," Alex gives in. He tilts his head forward, searching for a kiss. Willie grants him one as soon as he goes looking, as if he'd been waiting. When Willie pulls back, Alex opens his eyes. Willie, his fiancé, blinks up at him with a small smile on his face. Alex is angry at just how pathetic a word _fiancé_ feels in this moment. "One more year," Alex says, bringing a hand up to curl around Willie's jaw.

"Oh thank _fuck_ only one more year and then I'm done with this shit for _good_ ," Willie breathes, and this time he's the one who falls into Alex, boneless.

Alex laughs, dropping his hand. "I meant before we get married, but that too."

"I knew that," Willie lies.

"You're cute," Alex tells him. "And I've got a meeting to get to."

"Tell Louisa I said her tomato sauce could've used a little salt."

Alex grimaces. "No."

"Fine, I'll tell her later." He straightens himself back up, then reaches out to fix Alex's tie and vest. "See you at three. I love you."

"Love you too," Alex murmurs, kissing Willie quick, and then turning to rush off to meet his grandmother and a diplomat from—Spain? Portugal? Oh, fuck.

(It's Spain.)

Following his meeting with Spain, he has a policy meeting, two meetings with decorators for the coronation, and then a taste test with Willie, his grandmother, and John. After that he and Willie walk hand and hand across Ascela, Besiga's capital, to Julie and Luke's. (Because Julie and Luke's is only a fifteen-minute walk away from the palace. They could walk from one end of the capital to the other in less than forty minutes. Or— _or_ —they could walk from one end of the _country_ to the other in less time than it would take to walk from one end of Los Angeles to the other. And there were only sixty thousand people here, compared to Los Angeles' four million. … Moving here had been a bit of a culture shock. He's still not quite over it.) As they walk, Willie discusses his current research with Alex, dumbing it down severely enough that Alex is able to make sense of what he's talking about. It's a lot of work for Willie though, and even though Willie is in Beasiga this summer, between the preparations for Alex's coronation and Willie working on his research he was doing with his professor (colleague? what were they now that Willie only has his internship left?), they really _hadn't_ seen each other much. Willie's voice dies off when they get to Julie and Luke's and they go inside. 

"Hey! Alex! I want to show you something," Julie's voice calls, and she jumps up as soon as Alex and Willie walk through the door. She disappears down the hallway and Alex sends a confused look to Luke, Reggie, and Flynn. Reggie and Flynn shrug, but Luke just sends him a smug grin.

"Well, hi," Alex says, toeing his shoes off, dropping his bag, and stepping into the room. The front door opens to an open, spacious living room with a fireplace along the left wall, a cut out bar leading to the kitchen along the back, and the hallways are to the right. All of the furniture is set up in the middle of the room—a large right angle couch that's the size of two normal couches, two chairs, and a round coffee table. There's a TV in the corner between the fireplace and the kitchen that's playing some vaguely familiar movie. Alex thinks he's seen the trailer for it on TV but he hasn't really bothered to find the time to go to the theaters over the past two or three years.

"Hey," Flynn and Reggie call from their places in their chairs.

"Hey," Willie echoes back.

"'Sup?" Luke asks.

"I feel like I just ate my weight in chicken, pork, and steak," Willie admits.

"And shrimp," Alex adds as he starts his way towards the couch, "but obviously Willie didn't touch that."

"Nope. That's why we're a little late, too. Alex had to brush his teeth."

"Got it!" Julie cries, running back into the room. She's holding a folded up piece of paper in her hands with scribblings all over it. He pauses in the middle of the room and waits for her to come to him. She bounces up and holds the paper out to him. "I was looking for a song that I vaguely remembered starting years ago, which I'll get to in a minute, but look at _that_ one."

He takes the paper from her and reads, feeling his face slowly morph from confusion to a grin as he does so. "Holy shit, I forgot about this."

"So did we," Luke says. "But, uh, pretty spot on, eh?"

The smile drops off of Alex's face and he reads the lyrics again. "Holy _shit_. Did you two know I was a fucking prince?"

"No," Julie laughs. "We just knew _great_ things were going to happen. We wanna record it for our next album. What do you think?"

"Did you show it to Reg yet?"

"Not yet," Julie shakes her head.

"Hey Reg," Alex calls. "Remember _Edge of Great?_ "

"Oh, shit yeah. Why haven't we done anything with that yet?"

"I think with everything that happened that year it got put on the back burner," Luke admits. "We never even played it at a gig after, what, Camelot?"

"And that song was a banger," Flynn recalls. "You should definitely add it to a list of prospects for your next album. Definitely record it though. If it doesn't fit in with your album you can release it as a single. Shit, people will eat it up with the prince story."

Alex rolls his eyes and moves to take his seat on the couch. Luke is sitting against the armrest on the far right, so Alex takes the armrest on the left. He sits down, propping his feet up on the couch as he always does, and Willie comes over to sit between his legs, leaning back into his chest. Alex, still looking at the lyrics, has to hold the paper up high above his head to continue reading them. Julie goes over to sit next to Luke, and says, "There's another song, too. I started it… _years_ ago with my mom, but I never had an excuse to finish it. _Don't blink, no I don't wanna miss it. One thing and it's back to the beginning. 'Cause everything is rushing in fast. Keep going on, never look back. Whatever happens, even if I'm the last standing I'ma stand tall, I'ma stand tall_."

Alex lowers the paper, which Willie grabs from him to look over, and smiles. "That's pretty."

"It sort of reminded me of you. Kind of your entire experience with being a prince. It's all been a whirlwind for you, and you've had to deal with so much. But you've kept your eyes wide open and I know… I know you weren't left alone. At least I _hope_ you never felt left alone, because we were always there for you. But of the Mercers, you were their last hope for the crown, were _quite literally_ the last one standing, and—" Off to the side, Reggie starts humming. He picks up at the end of the verse and goes into a piece that Julie hadn't sang—a piece where his notes and voice climb again and again until he bobs his note up and down, and then the resolution is the chorus. Julie whips her head around. "Shit, Luke, phone! Get your phone! Reggie, again."

They spend the next however many hours working on the song until they're all too exhausted to continue. Alex and Willie stumble their way to one of the two guest rooms and fall on the bed, Alex curling into Willie's arms as Willie falls asleep, but Alex lays wide awake, thinking.

When they wake up the next morning, Luke and Reggie are already in the kitchen making eggs and bacon. It's all Luke _can_ make and Reggie could make pancakes but with the amount of pancakes that their group eats, it's a two-person job. So as soon as Reggie spots Willie, he lets out an "oh thank god" and pulls him into the kitchen and they get started on the batter. Alex watches as Luke transfers the bacon from the skillet to a plate with a paper towel that's already got a pile of bacon on it and hurriedly sets it on the bar before returning to the stove to dump the eggs from the pan onto another plate.

"I'm gonna go wake Jules so she can wake Flynn," he says once he's done, eyeing the couch warily. Flynn is the worst in the morning out of all of them, even Julie, who would sleep until three pm if given the chance. She also prefers to sleep curled up on Julie's couch when she sleeps over and Reggie hates it—he feels bad taking the guest bed when she's on the couch but she demands it every time.

Alex swipes a piece of bacon from the plate and munches on it, watching Willie and Reggie work. At one point, Willie tries to do the fancy toss in with the salt and Alex feels his heart flip at how much he adores him. Willie frowns. "Dude, I think I got it, like, everywhere _except_ in the bowl."

"You bring these problems on yourself," Reggie says, mixing the batter together. There's a noise down the hall and Alex turns to see Luke dragging Julie out of their room. He turns back to Reggie and Willie, more interested in those two. "Go scrape out what's left of the eggs in the pan into the sink so we can have two burners going at once."

They move methodically together, and over the next ten minutes they each man a burner, flipping pancakes and then slipping them on to plates. The stacks get taller and taller and by the time there are four plates of moderately stacked pancake towers, Julie's managed to get Flynn awake. The group all moves separately—Reggie beginning to move all the plates to the bar, Willie moving towards the living room to retrieve something from their bags, Flynn making her way to the bathroom, and Julie and Luke coming over to lean against the bar and slip plates off the top of the pile before beginning to dish out their food. Alex watches it all happen; content to just… exist with his friends around him. Content to just be with them.

Willie returns, coming up behind Alex, wrapping one arm around his shoulders and holding his other hand out in front, Alex's two anxiety pills resting in his palm. Right. Alex always forgets his medicine when they spend the night somewhere—he's so used to the routine he has at his home that it simply slips his mind. When Alex takes the pills from Willie, Willie moves to get him a glass of water to take them. Alex follows him over and, when Willie reaches the sink, presses up against his back. He brushes his hair out of the way and leans down, pressing a kiss to Willie's neck. "Thank you," he murmurs. "For my meds and for breakfast."

Willie hums as he fills the glass up. "Reggie did most of it."

"Yeah, well I can't kiss Reggie."

"Technically—"

" _No_ ," Alex cuts him off immediately. Willie giggles, shaking in Alex's hold and Alex feels himself melt. He takes the water from Willie and downs his pills. While Alex is distracted Willie takes the opportunity to turn around so he's facing Alex now, but he doesn't move away. When Alex is done, he leans in to set his glass in the sink, and as he does so presses his chest flush against Willie's, making him lean back, and kisses him long and slow. Then he steps back and moves to the table, leaving Willie blinking, dazed.

Eventually everyone makes their way to the table and has a plate of food in front of them, and conversation is flowing. He's not in either conversation right now—Flynn and Reggie are talking about a new show that had just come out this year and Julie and Luke are explaining to Willie how they plan to set the stage for Stand Tall—thinking too deeply on a thought that had come to him last night during their writing session and had kept him up long after Willie fell asleep. If Alex's coronation were any time before he became prince, their band would have jumped at the opportunity to use this as a gig. But instead, not one of them brought the idea up in the seven months that the planning has been going on.

Well.

"Hey, what do you think about playing at my coronation?"

Both conversations halt. There's a long pause.

"Wouldn't your event coordinator, like, murder you?" Reggie asks.

Alex shrugs. "I mean, it's… I'd ask to do it late. Once it's just friends and family, you know? All she'd need to do is find someone to set up our gear for us on the stage—I mean even the _stage_ will already be there, come on, it's kind of perfect."

"I mean, we don't have _any_ time to practice this entire week," Julie points out. "Like, we could try for Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday night—"

"Yes! That works!" Alex agrees eagerly.

Julie frowns. "Alex, you've got your introductory meetings all week—you're going to be dead on your feet. Adding band rehearsal to that will only make it worse. Why would you want to do that to yourself?"

"I was up for a while last night," he admits. "After you showed me _Edge of Great_ I just… I started thinking about how much I missed performing live. And, like, don't get me wrong, I'm happy. I'm glad I chose this. I can still write, and I can still make music and record. But just… I wanna just perform every once in a while, you know? Parties around the palace. Concerts down at the pavilion for the people of Beasiga, maybe. Not… It won't be world tours for me, and I _am_ okay with that. But… I do miss it."

There's another pause. Alex is about to tell them to forget about it when Luke grins. "I'm in," he says. "I _miss_ performing with you, man."

"Yeah, me too," Reggie says. "Plus if it's only friends and family we can treat it more like a jam session than a concert," he says, directing it at Julie. "So we can still practice but we won't have to worry as much."

"Yeah, all right," she agrees. Alex pumps his fist and hisses out a 'yes' under his breath. " _But_ we're only going to practice if you have the time and energy. Otherwise we're _only_ jamming Saturday night."

"Deal," Alex says. "I'll tell Genevieve when we get back to the palace that she needs to find someone to set the stage. We can go on at seven after dinner? Guests who aren't close friends and family are supposed to leave right after the coronation ends so it should be cleared out by then."

"Works for me," Luke says.

With agreement from the others, Alex sinks back into his chair feeling relieved. He hadn't known how this conversation was going to go—they'd already been on a tour. Maybe playing at a party for a hundred or so guests wouldn't be appealing to them anymore. Maybe playing a coronation felt weird to them—it certainly _sounded_ weird to Alex, but it's his party, he can rock if he wants to. But it had gone in his favor.

Next to him, Willie slips a hand onto his thigh and squeezes, a silent praise of what Alex did. He smiles to himself and takes a bite of his pancakes.

"Speaking of friends and family," Luke says, "have you heard from your parents?"

"Uh… no," Alex shakes his head, and casts his eyes down to his plate. "And I haven't asked if they've RSVP'd either. But I'd assume they have. I mean, it's not my wedding. They'll support me becoming King, right? Not marrying a man."

Flynn frowns. "I'm sure they'll be here."

She's proven right the next morning.

"Alex!"

Alex whirls around at the shriek, not entirely sure what to expect, but it makes sense when he sees Ava sprinting towards him. He grins, opening his arms for her to run into, and catches her when she throws herself at him. "Aves!"

"You got your hair cut again," she says, stepping back from the hug and frowning up at his head. She'd always liked when he'd had flow-ier hair that she could braid. Even though she was twenty now and had no interest in braiding her older brother's hair, it still seemed to upset her whenever Alex got it cut.

"Yeah," he nods, running a hand through it. "Back in… May? Right after I flew in to visit you guys and Willie's family. Willie's mom made a comment about how long it was getting."

"The last time I saw you," she reminds him, "since you never Facetime me either."

"I feel like I never have anything to talk about."

"You're about to be a _king!_ You probably have _tons_ to talk about!"

"You're one to talk! I didn't even know you'd be coming since you _didn't let me know!_ "

"Yeah, well—"

"Ava, leave him be," his mom's voice cuts in. She comes walking up behind Ava with Austin and Mike in tow. Alex is only slightly surprised to see Mike there, but he doesn't let it show on his face. "Like you said, he's about to be King, I'm sure he's been busy."

Alex ignores his parents for the moment and turns to his little brother. "How're you doing, Aus?"

Austin opens his mouth to answer but Ava leans over singing, "Austin's got a _girlfriend_."

"Shut _up_ , Ava!" Austin growls, shoving her away with a red face. Ava laughs and after a few seconds Austin starts laughing too, so Alex knows his brother isn't too upset. Their mom breaks them up soon enough though, looking around with an embarrassed look on her face. Alex supposes they _are_ in a palace, so he gets why she might be embarrassed, but really, they had a palace wide game of Capture the Flag at the start of the summer that caused more chaos than his mom has seen in her entire life. "Youngplay is playing Camelot in September," Austin says proudly once he's straightened back up.

"He was also on the honor roll this last semester," their mom says, stepping up and putting her hands on Austin's shoulders.

"Oh, yeah, he texted me about that in May," Alex says. "Tell me about booking Camelot, that's awesome!"

Alex listens as Austin tells him about how they managed to book the nightclub, and lets his mind go back. Austin is seventeen now, and when he had announced he had formed a band with his friends at the start of his freshman year, Alex thinks his mom and dad must have blacked out. It was one thing when Alex did it back in eighth grade—they had thought it was a passing phase. But now… now with Austin forming his band at almost the same time that Alex had, and getting in to Los Feliz High School just like Alex had, and now playing some of the same gigs Alex had… They must not feel as secure this time around that it's just a phase. He wonders if they're thinking the same thing that they thought about Alex's life for Austin: that it's all "going wrong."

"That's awesome, dude," Alex grins. "I'll be at the consulate in late October to mid-November, if you get any gigs around that time let me know and I'll take time off to come see you, deal?"

Austin's eyes light up. "Yeah! Deal!"

Alex smiles, and then finally turns to his parents. "Hey Mom, Dad." They both greet him back and he steps forward to hug them. "How was the flight?"

They make casual conversation, Ava and Austin occasionally jumping in with someone occasionally interrupting to get Alex's input on something, but it's still nice to talk with them. Ava's right—he really never does Facetime them, or even call. It kind of sucks because he knows exactly why he doesn't call his parents, but to avoid talking to his parents, it often means he ends up talking to his siblings less. He still texts them, but not enough.

Speaking of why he doesn't call his parents—

"Willie!" Alex calls, spotting his fiancé walking across the palace's foyer, unaware of Alex and his family twenty feet away. He looks up and smiles when he sees them, jogging over. Alex sees Mike's face turn sour and his mom frown, and he feels triumphant. Eight years ago their reactions would have wrecked him, would have made him anxious to see them so openly disapproving in a public space. Now, he feeds off of it. "Look who made it," he says as Willie comes up next to him.

"Aves! Aus!" Willie crows, and Alex's sister throws herself at Willie for a hug. Behind her back, Austin holds out a fist for a fist bump. "How're you guys?" he asks, and then steps back, and twirls a woven, tungsten ring that sits on his left ring finger. Willie is a fidgety person—it comes with ADHD—but this isn't fidgeting. This is a middle finger directed straight at Alex's parents.

"Well, we should probably let you get back to your… _duties_ ," Mike's voice cuts right through the beginning of Ava's answer, eyes catching on the ring. "Come on, Ava, Austin, you can talk to these two later." _When I'm not around_ goes unsaid.

Willie rolls his eyes, not bothering to hide it from Mike in the slightest, but Mike is also a smart man Alex has to reluctantly admit. He's a bigot, but he's smart. He's not going to start anything with the future Prince Consort of Beasiga _in_ Beasiga _in_ Beasiga's palace. So instead he stomps away, hand on Ava's shoulder.

Willie tosses Alex a look, and then laughs. He curls into Alex's side and presses a kiss to the side of Alex's mouth. "The next… however long they're here for should go well."

"He's going to avoid us," Alex says. Then he frowns. "I just hope he doesn't make Ava and Austin avoid us, too."

"Come on," Willie says, "you don't really think they'll let him, do you? Your mom will be on their side too, even if she's going to avoid us as well. She thinks you being close is sweet."

"She thought I was going to turn Austin gay because I was his role model," Alex scoffs.

"Yeah, but he's got a girlfriend now, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, how do you?"

"Snapchat. Jeez, do you _ever_ use Snapchat?"

"Should I?"

"Well, you definitely should when I'm in the States," Willie says, and leans up to kiss Alex, then walks away. Alex frowns, watching him leave, but he isn't able to follow because as soon as he's left alone, four people come rushing up to him. He sighs, and turns to the woman who had beat everyone else there, sparing one last glance at Willie as he goes.

Ava and Austin seek him out several times over the days, most often during his lunch breaks when he's with Willie in their private quarters. His grandmother had told his siblings where Alex and Willie could be found on Wednesday once they'd managed to ditch their dad, and since then they've been coming up for lunch each day. On Friday, Taylor, Jamie, and Willie's parents join them after having just arrived the night before, so they have to move from their dining room table to their living room to accommodate everyone.

"I can't believe you're marrying a king," Taylor says, staring at Willie's engagement ring. "Like, a real live, actual _king_." Then she turns to Alex. "I can't believe you're a king. Like, a real live, actual _king_. When I met you on the beach that day you were just a scrawny freshman I thought I'd be able to pick on my brother for having a crush on!"

"Hey, I'm not King yet, please don't jinx it," Alex says, mostly joking but he can't stop some panic from creeping into his voice. The room laughs around him.

"Imagine sitting at home one day and finding out your big brother is a prince," Ava says, crunching on a chip. "I was twelve, too, so it was the most incredible thing ever. I wish it'd have happened this year, I would have just laughed at him."

Jamie laughs and nods along with Ava. "We had a whole family sit down about it," she says. "Willie didn't tell us they were dating until after Alex's announcement because he knew Mom and Dad would want to meet Alex properly and Alex was already under enough pressure. But then my parents turned that conversation into 'do you know what this means for you?' And that's when I realized my brother was going to be a prince."

"Yes, well, I wasn't there for that," Taylor huffs. "I was in New York for so much of _that,_ that even knowing somewhere in my head that Alex was a prince, I never got to see what that meant. It's just… holy _fuck_."

"Language," Willie's mom hisses out.

"I'm twenty-eight."

"Yes, and there are children here," she says with narrowed eyes. Taylor, despite being twenty-eight, looks suitably chastened.

"We had intended for that 'do you know what this means for you?' talk to be about the news, about Alex visiting Beasiga," Willie's dad says. "But when we asked him that question, he said something about how they had just talked to Louisa about what _his_ duties would be as Prince Consort, and discussed how they could make it so it'd be possible so that he'd be able to have a career as well. I don't think we were ready for that conversation."

"I wasn't," Willie's mom admits. "But I'm glad we had it, because as soon as Alex started coming around more I realized he wasn't going away anytime soon and those concerns would have popped up if I hadn't already known about it."

"We never got to see Willie at our house because Dad didn't let him come over," Austin says.

"No," Ava says, "but we did get to meet him on video chat when he was at college and Alex was home, and he gave us his number so we could text him and Facetime so we still got to know him."

"We knew he wasn't going away because Alex was better though," Austin hums. "He and dad stopped talking but he started talking to us more and stopped panicking as much."

Jamie perks up at that. "Hey, remember when you'd never play fairytales with me because you always wanted to skateboard instead?"

"Oh yeah," Willie deadpans, "ha-ha, I'm marrying a king. Fairytale."

"And you're the knight in shining armor who slayed the dragon," she says. Willie, and everyone else, gives her a look of confusion at this. "His anxiety was the dragon."

"He did a shit job if he was supposed to slay my anxiety, I definitely still have anxiety," Alex says. He receives a look from Willie's mom and quickly apologizes for his language.

Jamie rolls her eyes. "Okay, but there's a significant difference between dragon-anxiety and slayed-dragon-anxiety."

"Is there?" Willie asks. "Huh. Anyway, Austin is right—Alex stopped panicking as much but I'm pretty sure Alex slayed the dragon himself."

Alex furrows his eyebrows together. "I'm not sure—"

"No—let's. Let's keep with this analogy. Alex is the one who slayed the dragon. But his therapist gave him his armor. His friends and family gave him his shield. I gave him his sword. He did the rest on his own," Willie says. "I'm no one's knight in shining armor."

Alex turns to Willie and stares. That… that's actually a really great way to describe how it all worked out. Alex has his armor now—to protect him from unforeseen attacks, given to him by his therapist. His shield—to protect him from what he can see coming, given to him by his friends and family. And his sword—to fight his anxiety off, to fight through, to fight to be better, given to him by Willie. He smiles at Willie and, once again, is struck by how lucky he is.

"You are, however, his prince," Jamie says.

Willie hums and capitulates. "Yeah, I am that." He leans over and kisses Alex, short and sweet.

After that, he has a meeting with a diplomat from Portugal, and then another with the Prime Minister of another, even smaller than Beasiga country. These are his last meetings with his grandmother by his side, and while he tries not to think too much about it, he can't help but let his mind wander to it whenever he's not speaking or being spoken to. He's been to plenty of meetings during his time as prince. He is well versed. He knows these people. He knows all the customs, all the cultures, all the right things to do and say.

It's not that he isn't ready to do this on his own.

It's that he isn't ready to do this without his grandmother.

She has been with him through every step of his growth. While she hasn't quite held his hand through it, she's had a hand on his shoulder, quietly saying 'I'm here, I'm right beside you' while letting him find his own way. It's something that has comforted Alex. To know that, had he fallen, there was a hand close by to pull him back up.

He is ready to open parliament for the first time on Monday. He is ready to meet with a foreign diplomat on Wednesday for the first time as King of Beasiga. He is ready to step into his role as ruler and take on the duties that his grandmother is entrusting him with. All he wishes is that it doesn't mean that she'll be taken from his side. She wouldn't even need to do anything, he thinks, just let her _be_ there, let her be waiting close by so he'll know if he falters she'll pull him back up. Don't make him pull himself back up. Because it's not that he can't pull himself back up, it's that… pulling himself back up is much lonelier than having his grandmother's help.

He gets in bed that night anxious. Willie is already sitting in bed, an academic journal propped up on his bent knees with a highlighter in his hand and a highlighter cap in between his teeth. As Alex climbs under the covers, Willie leans forward, humming to himself as he finishes off whatever sentence he's reading. "Aaaand _done_ ," he mutters around the cap. He spits it out into his hand and closes the highlighter, leaning over to kiss Alex. "How was Portugal and—Espia?"

"Good, good," Alex says. Willie hums and kisses him again, and then moves to put his journal and highlighter in his bedside drawer. "Hey, I know it's a little late for this—"

"Oh my _god_." Willie's still leaning over to the table and he flops over, draping himself over the side of the bed.

"What?"

"Alex," Willie says, bouncing on the bed as he turns to him. "You're gonna be a great king."

"Right. Okay," Alex nods. "But have you considered: what if I'm not?"

Willie throws a leg over Alex's waist so he's straddling him and reaches up to grip his face between his hands. He strokes Alex's cheekbones with his thumbs and sighs, but it sounds more like a laugh. It might be. "Alex, you have been the king in all but name for nearly three years now. You know it, I know it, your grandmother knows it. She's been _testing_ you. You _passed_ her tests. You trust her, don't you? You don't think she'd leave Beasiga, the thing she cares about more than anything else in the world, to someone she doesn't think will be a great king?"

"Well—no—"

"Right," Willie murmurs, leaning in and brushing a light kiss against Alex's lips making Alex's eyes flutter shut. He tries to chase Willie's lips but he dodges him. Willie pulls back and waits for Alex to open his eyes. "You can do this. You _know_ you can do this."

The words are so familiar to Alex—they're the reminder that Willie gives him every time Alex starts to doubt himself. He's not sure when it started, but it's been years now, and each time there's a feeling that washes over Alex that just makes him feel like Willie is telling the truth. That Alex _can_ do it, and with that, it instills within him that he also knows that he can do it. Willie has never been proven wrong.

Alex looks up at him, the feeling of Willie's hands burning on the sides of his face. It's silent, the two of them staring the other down, waiting for a crack in the other's defenses, waiting for a moment to go—

Alex's breath hitches and Willie dives at him, crushing their lips together and sliding one hand up to tangle in his hair, and the other down to his chest, grabbing a fistful of his shirt. Alex wraps his arms around Willie's waist, slipping his hands under his shirt and feeling the skin catch fire. He presses his palms flat against Willie's back and presses, bringing Willie closer to him. They break apart, breathing in each other's breaths.

"Thank you—" Alex starts when Willie pulls away but Willie shakes his head and shushes him. 

"It's my last night with a prince; no time for talking," he murmurs, and reconnects their lips. 

So—

He doesn't get much sleep.

There's a knocking at his door in the morning that accompanies his and Willie's simultaneous alarms. Alex groans and turns further into Willie's hold, wanting all of the noise to go away. Willie laughs, sending a vibration through his chest. "I'll get the door if you just get _up_ ," Willie says. Alex moans, wrapping his arm tighter around Willie. It doesn't work for more than ten seconds as Willie sits up, grips his arm, and peels it off of him. "Nice try," Willie says, "but _you're_ the one who said you'd get up this morning even if we stayed up last night."

"You've said things you don't mean, too," Alex grumbles, burrowing into the covers.

"Yeah, well—" the blankets are ripped from the bed and Alex yelps "—things I didn't mean didn't interfere with my becoming King, so."

Alex sits up in bed and stares at where Willie dropped the blankets. "I was using those."

Willie raises an eyebrow. He's dressed in sweatpants and a ratty t-shirt. "Not anymore." He looks to Alex's bedside table. "Shut your alarm off, will you?" Then to the door. "Be right there!" Then to Alex. "I'm gonna go see who that is and then we can make breakfast."

Alex heaves a dramatic sigh for no one's benefit but his own, and reaches over to shut his alarm off. The room falls silent apart from Willie's voice at the front door, and another deep voice that he can't put his finger on. It's too early. Still though, he pulls on a pair of sweatpants and a shirt and wanders to the kitchen, pulling out a pan and a skillet. By the time he's gotten the eggs and bacon out, Willie's back, coming up to lean against the counter next to Alex with his arms crossed.

"That was John. Louisa wanted to make sure you didn't run."

Alex drops his jaw. " _Seriously?_ "

"No," Willie laughs, leaning over to kiss the side of his mouth. "She wants us to join them for an early lunch. She was going to ask last night but it must have been when you were at practice and I was in the library."

Breakfast passes by as normal, and then Alex and Willie go about getting ready for the day—showering, styling their hair, and getting dressed, though not in their suits quite yet. They lounge around for another hour or two after that—Alex practicing his speeches and Willie working on his research—before meeting for lunch.

Once they do go to lunch however, Alex and Willie are grateful that his grandmother and John invited them to spend the hour with them, because the anxiety is building and being with his grandmother puts them both at ease. Plus, his grandmother still has the kitchen make most of her meals, so the chicken parmesan that they have is better than anything he and Willie would have made. It doesn't take them long to finish.

"Genevieve told me that you were playing tonight," his grandmother says once they've all cleared their plates. It's nearing 12:15, which means all of them are going to have to go off to get ready soon. Judging by his grandmother's hair, she's already been getting ready the entire morning. "With your band."

"Yeah," Alex nods. "Yeah, we're gonna play a set for everyone."

She's quiet. He takes a sip of his water. "Do you ever… regret choosing Beasiga over your band?"

He chokes. Next to him Willie starts alternating between smacking his back and rubbing a soothing hand up and down it. Soon enough, he's recovered and waving Willie off, though he still lets out a stray cough here or there. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Judging by your reaction I believe you heard me perfectly fine," she says, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I—yeah, I—yeah I did. I just—what? Wh—I? I mean, of _all_ the days to ask me, _really?_ " he huffs. "I'm about to become King of Beasiga. I think if I regretted it, it'd be too late. Thankfully, no, I don't. Because I _didn't_. I still have them both."

"Good," his grandmother nods. She looks at him, eyes glossy. What? He turns to Willie, alarmed. His grandmother gets his attention back by saying, "I am… unbelievably proud of you, Alex. But sometimes I fear that I took you away from something you loved more than you love Beasiga. Sometimes I think that I projected onto you and accepted your choice because you chose what I wanted you to."

"I chose what _I_ wanted to," Alex tells her. "And _I didn't choose Beasiga over my band_. I still have my band. I'm still writing, I'm still recording, I'm just not touring with them. And I'm okay with that. Sure, I love the connection with the audience. But that's not limited to crowds at venues. People post covers of our songs, people post little letters to me about how my story about anxiety has helped them, people leave comments on our profiles about what our music means to them. That's connecting with them too, and that's the connection I care about. I guess the thing to miss about live shows is the energy, but… I don't know. I don't feel like that's missing from my life."

His grandmother smiles, but her eyes are still shining with unshed tears. How does he make that stop? He reaches across the table to grab her hand and she laughs, squeezing his fingers in her hold. "I'm sorry," she says, and dabs at her eyes with her free hand. "I just… I want you to be happy. And all along I've thought you were, but then hearing that you wanted to perform tonight, the night you were becoming King, I thought perhaps you missed it."

"I do _miss_ _it_ , but it's not _missing_ ," he says. "I _know_ the feeling and I _like_ the feeling, but I don't _need_ it."

"Oh, silly me. Of course," she says. Alex laughs. "You're becoming King today." She stares at him for a long minute and lets out a breath. "I've watched you prepare for this day for the past eight years and I could not think of a better man to relinquish my throne to."

"I'm sure there are a few," Alex smirks, trying for a laugh, but squeezes her hand in comfort also.

"No," she says. His smirk falls. "Alex. You… you do now how proud of you I am? I know I don't say it enough—"

"The fact that you haven't corrected me after a meeting in three years says it all," he grins, trying again for a laugh.

A tear does fall then with no laugh, just a small smile. Wow. Oh for two. "You're going to be a wonderful king, you know?"

"I'm going to try to be."

"And that's what's going to make you so wonderful."

They part ways shortly after that, and they don't see each other again until the ceremony. Alex can see her in the distance as he is walking down a yellow-carpeted aisle towards the stage where she is seated in the throne. She's in the ceremonial mantle and crown and they make her look so, so powerful. He imagines they'll do the same for him once he's wearing them and seated on the throne. Which he will be. Shortly. Because the majority of the ceremony has passed, and now, it's his time.

The coronation is being held just outside the palace in the courtyard just past their gardens. Well, technically, it's being held outside the entire palace, because over six thousand people are arranged all throughout the palace's grounds with speakers set up for them to hear. Alex thinks they'd get a better experience watching it on TV where they could actually see what was happening, but he supposes this way they could say they were there, and then watch it back on DVR later. Win-win.

It takes Alex a few minutes to get to the stage. A march, one that Alex knows was written back in the 1850s by a Beasigan composer for his ancestor's coronation, plays as he walks down the aisle, past the guests, past dignitaries of other countries, past the Beasigan government members, past his friends and family. They're all staring at him, and Alex carefully thinks: they are staring at you because you're becoming King of Beasiga. These people have expressed approval of you in the past. These people have all but chosen you themselves as their king. They are not staring at you to judge you.

The coals in his gut remain warm, but unlit.

He reaches the stage eventually and ascends the stairs slowly. There are members of parliament lining the left and right sides of the stage, and Jeffry is seated in the back. The throne sits in the middle of the stage, looking entirely too grand to even exist. Yet, it does, and he's going to be sitting on it. Soon.

Once he's up the stairs he moves to take his place next to his grandmother. She stands effortlessly and turns to him just as he turns to her, and she curtseys at him as he bows at her. She steps forward and motions for Alex to take the spot that she had just vacated, which he does. He turns so his back is to the throne. She faces him.

"Alexander Charles Taylor Mercer, Prince of Beasiga," she says. The crowd had been quiet before, but now they're completely silent. Alex can hear his blood thrumming through his veins, steady like a four to the floor beat. "Are you willing, under the eyes and under the ears of all of these people here today, to take the vows intended to uphold the laws of Beasiga, to protect Beasiga and all of our allies, and to preserve the integrity and character of Beasiga's name?"

"I am willing," Alex says. He surprises himself with how strong his voice comes out. With that, though, he knows he's ready. His grandmother removes the mantle from her shoulders and wraps it around Alex's, and fastens it. He feels the weight of it heavy on his shoulders, like she's transferring the weight of carrying Beasiga from her shoulders to his, and he squares his chest and _something_ must happen on his face because his grandmother's face lights up.

"Will you rule with compassion and empathy, putting your people before yourself? Will you use your power to bring justice and equality to all who fall under your shield? Will you govern your people with mercy and grace?"

"I will."

His grandmother nods once and removes the crown. She nods to Alex who kneels in front of her, and she places it on his head with great care. She taps his shoulder as a sign for him to stand up and then steps to the side. Once Alex is standing again, she turns out to face the audience, and motions to Alex with a graceful sweep of her arm. "It is my honor to introduce Alexander Charles Taylor Mercer, King of Beasiga."

Alex takes his seat on the throne just as the first "Long Live the King!" cheer erupts from the crowd. He had known they were going to chant that—his grandmother had even mentioned that part—but he doesn't think he fully processed it. It feels surreal to have something that once seemed so fake, so… fantasy chanted at him, and have the people chanting it mean it with their whole hearts. A few more chants go by, and then the crowd falls silent.

Please, don't let him forget this.

"This I swear to you," he recites the centuries old words, "that I devote my life to the people of Beasiga. Through my devotion I shall deliver justice through impartiality to all and be honest and noble with my people. This I swear to you, that I commit my life to the people of Beasiga. Through my commitment I shall extend protection to those who require it and shall support those who cannot support themselves. This I swear to you, that I dedicate my life to the people of Beasiga. Through my dedication I shall choose to value a person's honor rather than how prosperous they are and place my own humility above my own wealth. This I swear to you, that I give my life to the people of Beasiga."

He flicks his eyes to his grandmother.

Did he do it? Did he get it right?

She's smiling. Oh, _thank fuck_.

There are more cheers of "Long Live the King!" but those die down as he can see some of the staff hurrying around and hushing people. He's sure that's happening all around the palace grounds, because the groups slowly fade away, one by one until it's silent again. The silence is incredible—over six thousand people within ten acres and yet if Alex were to close his eyes, he thinks he might feel like he is alone.

"Beasiga," he says. He's regretful that he had to break the silence but now that he has, he draws in a deep breath and continues on. "I never expected in my life that I'd end up here. I know you've probably heard this story, but…" He recaps once again about his grandmother's appearance in his life when he was sixteen and all of the lessons that he went through and the decision he had to make. He talks about how hard he remembers it being, but how at peace he felt once the decision had been made. "The next few years I was between Beasiga and Stanford learning everything I could to make me a better prince, to make me a better king. And then, as you all know, I settled in Beasiga for good and called it home.

"My goal was always to be the best King I could be, so clearly that meant learning from the best. I shadowed my grandmother for years, and I plan to use all of that—everything my grandmother taught me, the decision I had to make to be standing here today, and the years I spent following that decision in Beasiga and Stanford working towards this, and my shadowing—for all of you," he says, and looks out at the sea of people. They extend as far back as the palace, but then even beyond that as well. He knows there are even more people on the other side of the palace as well. They're here for him and he's here for them. "Because what decided my future years ago was _you_ , the people of Beasiga. And I stand here—sorry, _sit here_ —today for all of you. And I hope that you stand, or sit, for me. I hope that you are able to put your trust in me to lead our country into even finer times. I hope that you look to the future and see a better Beasiga that we'll create together. I hope that you hope for a brighter future, because that's where I intend to lead our country. And I hope you'll all be at my side. So I'm proud to stand—sit—" he stands up "— _stand_ here today, for the first time, Alexander Charles Taylor Mercer, _your_ King of Beasiga."

Cheers erupt. It's not deafening—they're outside and the noise is so spread out that it doesn't have the chance to be—but it is overwhelming. It comes from all around him, bouncing off the palace walls that are almost a quarter mile away and reflecting back to him. The throne's back is rounded at the edges too, so it is catching sounds behind him and sending them right back. It stuns him, and he resists the urge he has to raise his hands to cover his ears to be able to _think_.

What comes next? What comes next? What comes—

Chris, the speaker for one of the Houses of Parliament, steps in front of him, and the noise dies down. Right, shit. Alex takes his seat on the throne again and nods. Chris uses his voice to pledge allegiance to Alex for his entire House. After, he returns to his feet and disappears back to the side of the stage he came from.

From the other side of the stage comes Caleb Covington, the speaker of the other House, who will speak the oath for his House. Alex has to bite down on the inside of his cheek to keep from smirking at the man. When Caleb kneels in front of him, Alex's face is the perfect picture of composure, though he is _singing_ on the inside. Caleb tucks one hand behind his back and one in front of his abdomen and bows, glaring up at Alex through his lashes. "I, Caleb Covington, Speaker of the House of Crane, speak on behalf of the House of Crane as we offer ourselves to serve you faithfully until our time is up." Alex nods at him, and Caleb nods back. His eyes harden and Alex feels one side of his mouth quirk up into a smirk. Oops. Caleb scowls. Alex focuses on straightening his face back out, and watches as Caleb takes his leave.

Once he disappears, Jeffry makes his way towards Alex. He kneels in front of him and offers a smile. "I, Jeffry Marley, Prime Minister of Beasiga, speak on behalf of the government as we offer ourselves to serve you faithfully until our time is up," he says. Alex wants to laugh, because both parties had just aligned to him, so this felt redundant. He manages to suppress the laugh though and just smiles instead. Jeffry pushes off his own knee and returns back to where he was standing and Alex looks out at the crowd.

Beasiga doesn't have nobility—no barons or lords—so there's only one more person who needs to give their oath to him now and that's…

Willie.

Willie, who is climbing the stairs, heading straight for Alex.

He drops to one knee.

"Sorry, I already beat you to the proposal," Alex jokes. He hears the crowd laugh from all around and remembers his mic is still going to be on until the end of the oaths. Fuck.

Willie laughs and ducks his head. He just stares at the ground for a long moment, but then he looks back up at Alex. "Not quite what I'm going for here," he says, and suddenly Alex is nervous. Willie isn't Prince Consort yet, which means technically he doesn't have to take an oath, but he had asked to. Everyone agreed easily and thought nothing of it because _of course_ Willie would want the chance to pledge his allegiance to Alex. But Alex thinks he should have thought something of it. Because now he's remembering that since Willie isn't Prince Consort… there's no script. He reaches out and takes Alex's hand—the only one who is allowed to do so. "I, Willie—" he mumbles his middle and last names low enough that the microphones can't pick them up "—future Prince Consort of Beasiga, give myself to you. I give my mind, my heart, my soul, my love. I give you a promise that I will remain by your side through the best of times and the worst of times. I give you everything I am to you and, because it is an extension of you, I also give this oath to this country." He pauses, and looks at Alex meaningfully. So quietly that Alex isn't sure whether the microphones will be able to catch it or not, Willie tells him, "I'd do anything for you. I'm gone on you."

Alex breathes out—he can't kiss him, not yet. He wants to, _fuck_ does he want to, but he's not supposed to. So instead, he nods once at Willie, and then Willie is up, caressing his face, and pressing two delicate fingers to the crown—sealing his promise to Beasiga. After, he moves to stand at Alex's side, and Alex's grandmother comes to stand on Alex's other side. Alex stands up from the throne and holds his arms out for them to link their arms through. Then they start back down the aisle.

It's almost over.

The day the his grandmother has been preparing him for for eight years, the day the country has awaiting for a year since the announcement, the day that's been in planning for seven months, the day that's been talked about over the entire world because the world was about to see its first gay king, the day… the day that was a lot of other things as well. It's nearly over.

The build up to it had been so much worse than the actual ceremony, though he knows he actually had very little to do in the ceremony. He showed up for the last twenty minutes of it, while there had been speeches and traditional readings going on for nearly two hours before he was cued to enter. Of course his anxiety had been building during those two hours, but he had been so focused on remembering his parts that he barely even noticed. His grandmother and Jeffry were the two who did the heavy lifting during the ceremony today. They had spent hundreds of hours over the last few years in preparation for today, knowing that the day was coming sooner rather than later. It had ended up coming sooner than expected.

They were never sure when his grandmother was going to step down, but she started to think maybe she would once Willie returned—it would give them all time to prepare for it. It was a reasonable time expectation—Alex would be twenty-six which sounded like the perfect age to become King, Willie would be moved to Beasiga and done with school, they would be getting married, and his grandmother would have time to say goodbye to her role. And then Julie had frowned at group dinner and asked, "a wedding and a coronation in one summer? Are you sure?"

No. No they were not sure.

At first, Alex wasn't ready to be King, and tried to argue a case that his coronation should be pushed back to 2031. His grandmother would not have it.

"I'm tired, Alex," she had said. "And you're King already, whether you hold the title or not. I'm simply a place holder at this point."

It took months of convincing, but in July he caved. They hired a planner in December and from there they took off running. His days for a while had been packed full of taste tests and color palettes and fittings and centerpieces and chairs and invitations and just… chaos. They had been chaos. It had been such a stressful time and Alex had hoped that it didn't foretell the actual ceremony. Thankfully over time it had died down until it was manageable and, occasionally, even enjoyable. Everyone still wanted his attention, but it wasn't as whirlwind as before—they weren't all fighting one another. Still, he had been scared for the coronation.

But here he was, between Willie and his grandmother, just about a football field away from the palace doors. Once he passed through those doors and they closed, the ceremony would officially be over. People would start to leave, only close friends and family remaining. Alex would be able to get out of the crown and mantle and his stuffy suit and undo the top buttons to make it more comfortable, and Willie would take his tie off and drape it around his neck and Alex would be able to pull him in with the tie to kiss him and—

The doors shut behind him.

"Holy shit."

"You're King of Beasiga," his grandmother says, knowing exactly what he was thinking.

Yeah, he was. He looks at her. "Holy shit."

Willie steps back from him and bows. " _Your Majesty_."

Alex turns from his grandmother to Willie and shakes his head. "Oh my god, come here," he says, grabbing the lapels of Willie's suit and dragging him in. "You should never call me that again but come here," he says, and then kisses him, hard and full. Willie returns the kiss in kind, pushing up on his toes and curling his hands around Alex's neck, stroking his thumbs under his jaw. Alex pulls away before they drift too far on the wrong side of decent, not wanting to get carried away in front of his grandmother. "I love you."

"I love you, King Alex," Willie says, pulling Alex in again for another short kiss. "I'm so proud of you, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, I do," he nods. Then again, "Holy shit. Did you—did you see how many _people_ there were?"

"Yeah, babe," Willie murmurs and traces his fingers along Alex's jaw. "You did amazing."

" _So_ many people."

"And you did that in front of all of them. How do you feel right now?" Willie asks, eyes flicking all over Alex's face, looking for the first signs of panic. Alex knows that he won't find anything. "Are you okay?"

"I—yeah. Yeah. I am. I'm fine. A bit stressed, but I'm fine."

"You did wonderfully," his grandmother says from off to the side.

Alex tears his eyes away from Willie and looks over at her. He slips out of Willie's hold and makes it over to her in three large strides, gathering her in a tight hug. " _Thank you_ ," he says. "For being up there with me. I know it was part of the ceremony so like, you had to be, but—"

"I would have been no matter what," she says. "Not that you needed me."

"I'm probably always going to need you," Alex admits. "Just hope I don't crash and burn the country this next year."

"You would never," she says confidently, tapping the bottom of his chin with her fingers. "You're already an amazing King."

"It's been five minutes."

"No. It's been years. You've been showing me the type of king you will be from the start. _You're already an amazing King_. I look forward to living in your Beasiga."

Alex blinks. He doesn't know what to say so he turns back to Willie who nods. He hugs his grandmother again, and she hugs him back and… he's the fucking King of Beasiga.

It takes a while for all of the guests to leave but inside, they have dinner with those who are staying while the others leave. While dinner is being served, Alex takes his place at the front of the room with a microphone in his hand. He looks around the room and tries not to be surprised just how many people he has that are close friends and family. They're not all technically _close_ , but they're all people that Alex wants to share today with. He knew there were quite a few, but looking at them all assembled now, he's taken aback. He's so, so lucky to be surrounded by these people.

"I just want to start off by saying thank you all for being here," Alex says. His eyes flicker around, landing on face after face. "Looking around, I'm reminded that I'm not here today because of that one thing I did years ago, I'm here today because of hundreds of little things that all of you have done for me. _Those_ are what truly got me here. Here, as King of Beasiga." Cheers rise up around the room, but die off after a few seconds. "It—it almost doesn't feel real. You know, for the first sixteen years of my life, Kings and Queens were for stories. I knew England and other countries had them, but none of them had a direct impact on my life. But I watched Disney so I knew they were royal, I knew they were regal, I knew they were important. And—wow. Royal, regal, important. Words I never thought I'd use to describe myself. But somehow, you've all made me into who I am today, and I became a king today. Which I guess does make me royal, regal, and important.

"Some of you in this room knew me when I was sixteen, but the overwhelming majority of you did not know me. But… maybe this will help you get to know who I was. Picture: my grandmother tells me I'm a prince and I run from the consulate, not knowing where in LA I am, where I'm heading, or how I can get home. I call Julie and she keeps me from panicking and sends Willie to pick me up. She's what you would call the brain of the operation. Picture: I'm sitting at lunch and find out that the news released an article announcing me as a prince to the world. My band sees it— _Reggie_ sees it and I try to tell him that I'm not leaving them, that of course I'm not going to be a prince. Reggie turns to me and says 'no matter what you choose, prince or not, we'll make it work. It's you and us.' The soul of the operation. Picture: the media announces I'm a prince and the next day in school everyone is staring at me. I proceed to have a panic attack so bad that I hyperventilate and shake in the hallway, and the only reason I make it through is because of Luke and Flynn. The hearts of the operation. Picture: I'm sixteen, my entire world has just been flipped upside down and my best friends all take hold of it and tug until it's right side up again. Who I was at sixteen was a lost, scared kid… But that kid was surrounded by _the_ best support system in the world that never once left him, and all played a part in turning him into a king. So picture: Julie, Reggie, Luke, and Flynn all standing by my side. That's the most important thing you need to know about sixteen year old me.

"And that's uh, not to discredit Grandma either. She quickly became a piece of that support system, too. Prince lessons were long and demanding, and that was on top of everything else in my life. Julie and the Phantoms was just starting to get big around the LA club scene, I was in my junior year of high school and in two AP classes plus one of the most competitive music programs in the state of California, and I needed to find time for myself, too. Grandma started every day with 'and how are we feeling today?' and if I responded negatively, or if there was an ounce of hesitation, she'd change up the entire day. One day we were meant to be discussing Beasiga's national guard but instead we sat and worked through all of my homework and then discussed Beasiga's ski lodges. She would spend hours with me and, while I was getting to know Beasiga, she was getting to know me. I had a panic attack in front of her my first week with her and she never once judged me for it. She arranged for a therapist to meet with me twice a week at the consulate and every Tuesday and Thursday after therapy, she'd tell me she was proud of me. It was embarrassing at first, but… I felt proud after a while, too. She's been at my side since I met her, and I understand how Beasiga must have felt under her rule, because when you have Louisa Mercer's loyalty, it doesn't waver.

"Uh, and, um. Well. You're all going to hear a lot about him next summer at the wedding, but. Willie. When I say I wouldn't be standing here were it not for Willie, that… a truer statement has never been said. Willie is… god, Willie is everything, and you all know that if you're here, because you all know me. There are… moments… that decide your future. And Willie was a part of every moment that took me from being that scared kid who ran from the Beasigan consulate to the scared kid who announced he was going to be Prince in that same Beasigan consulate to the scared kid who just got crowned King. After my announcement, we spent the next several years back and forth between Los Angeles and Stanford and Berkeley and Beasiga as I stepped into and assumed my role as Prince of Beasiga. And every step along the way he was there. He was cheering me on, he was pushing me forward, he was holding me up. His support is relentless, he's never once faltered or broke under the pressure, and there… has been a lot of pressure. I mean, not only am I— _was_ I Prince—but he was working on his doctorate and dissertation. And then the coronation, and then—" Alex cuts off and stares Willie down, who is looking back at him with a smile wide enough to crinkle his eyes in the way that Alex adores. "… and he chose to choose us, every time, no matter the obstacles. And that? That is the most incredible feeling in the world. … but _that_ is a line that would be much better suited for the wedding. The point is: without Willie, I would not have become Prince. Without Willie, I would not have made it through my years as Prince. Without Willie, I would not be standing here today as Beasiga's King."

Alex stands and looks out at the crowd of people. There are faces that he lands on that remind him of stories he wishes he had the time to tell, but that he knows would be pushing it. He sighs. "Really, I wish I had the time to thank each and every one of you in this room in this speech. I'll thank you all personally if I haven't already, and if I _have_ already, I'll probably thank you again. But… today wasn't my day, it was ours. And I hope all of you know that. I hope you know that you're here with me because you've made an impact in my life and this day is as much celebration for you as it is for me, because this group of people… you are the reason I am King. And I think that's amazing, and I will never be able to thank you enough. But… I'm going to try. So, this will be the first of many: thank you."

During dinner, there are more speeches, but these ones are much less formal. His grandmother goes first, nearly making Alex cry, and then Willie goes, who must have teamed up with his grandmother because he _actually_ makes Alex cry. Not much, but there are still tears. Julie, Luke, Reggie, and Flynn all go up and speak together, passing the microphone around to one another, and then Ava and Austin speak as well. Even Jeffry gets up to say a few words. There are a few other people he's met over the years in either Stanford or Beasiga who get up as well, and he listens to them speak and congratulate him as he eats. He feels overwhelmingly loved in this moment and it's—it's incredible.

Dinner ends eventually though, and the gardens and courtyard have opened back up a few hours after the ceremony ended. This means that it's time for Julie and the Phantoms to go on stage. Alex feels his entire body buzzing with energy as they get set behind their instruments, and once they're playing, he looks from Julie to Luke to Reggie and grins. There are only about a hundred people left, plus the staff, but Alex still hasn't played live music to a crowd in _years_. So as they play, he lets himself fall into it as he always used to.

_1 e and a 2 e and a—_

" _On the edge of great, on the edge of great, on the edge of great_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s that! 
> 
> This epilogue was originally was going to be the lead up to the/the Willex wedding, and I was even 3k into writing it, but then I thought: _no? What the hell am I doing?_ This fic, while Willex, is also about Alex becoming prince, and the epilogue sees him “end” that journey as he becomes King. And there was still room for Willex in there.  
> I plan to revamp the Willex wedding and post it as a part of this series. 
> 
> ALRIGHT Y’ALL READY FOR ANOTHER CLUSTER FUCK OF NOTES? 
> 
> There’s a conspiracy about the Berenstain/Berenstein Bears name but the a/e isn’t my issue with it. It’s the BEARenstain. Seriously? YOU PASSED THAT UP? 
> 
> If you haven’t seen Booboo do the fancy salt sprinkle that I reference in the kitchen scene on Christy Carlson Ramano’s YouTube channel I [gifed it here](https://sunsetcurbed.tumblr.com/post/641325553393287168/yeah-some-of-thisx) and the video link is there too. He’s fucking adorable. 
> 
> Is three years plus one of internship a lil fast for a PhD? a lil. not unheard of, but not the norm. The norm is 4-5 plus internship, so I shaved off a year or two. But, he also doesn’t have to work to support himself like many doctoral students have to, so he can dedicate all of his time to school and his dissertation. And he already knew what his dissertation topic was before even applying to grad school. 
> 
> I DON’T KNOW HOW TO WRITE CORONATION VOWS/SPEECHES/OATHS OR THANK YOU SPEECHES I’M SOOORRY. 
> 
> My thought process while writing Alex's speeches: "he'd go all in"  
> Me reading them back: "that's… _too_ all in" 
> 
> Listen… I tried to give Willie a full name… but it just… nothing??? sounded right???? Some options were:  
> Willie Michael Stewart  
> Willie Robert Anderson  
> Willie James Kennedy  
> Willie Mitchell Lawson  
> Willie William Wilson  
> Yeah I was frustrated on that last one  
> But. Anyway. The important thing is, that in this universe, in 2030, he’ll be Willie Mercer, Prince Consort of Beasiga. 
> 
> If you couldn’t tell by the multiple references to it in this fic, I LOVE the “I told you, I’d do anything for you” line. I just? In the show I feel like Willie hasn’t had anyone he’s WANTED to do anything for in a long time. With Caleb he feels the need—it’s a responsibility because Caleb gives him everything he wants so he has to pay him back, right? But with Alex, he WANTS to do stuff for him and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do. He’d check on him behind his boss’s back. He’d tell him of his boss’s evil plan. He’d help him figure out his unfinished business. He’d drive a bus 200 miles into the desert. He’d risk himself. And he’d do it all for Alex. And that? That is a key part of their relationship to me. Willie said that to Alex and did all of that for Alex after knowing him for a few weeks. That shits powerful. 
> 
> \- I’m not sure if Flynn moves to Beasiga. Tbh I see her working at a talent management company and due to that I don’t see her leaving Los Angeles, but at the same time it’s hard to imagine her being the only one to stay. She’s here in the epilogue since it’s Alex’s coronation, so whether she lives there or not is up to you. 
> 
> \- Louisa and John get their happily ever after like Clarisse and Joe FIGHT ME. I didn’t really like… have room? or have any excuse to make room? to fit it in the fic? but yeah Clarisse and Joe are fucking adorable so Louisa and John get that too. Because why not? They get to plan their own wedding though. 
> 
> \- Stand Tall is released as a single on the year anniversary of Alex’s coronation. The music video is footage from his coronation and from a performance they did at Ascela Pavilion, which is just a small concert venue in Beasiga. There's an instrumental break in the video that shows from "And I stand here—sorry, sit here—" to the end of his speech. All profits from the single and proceeds from the Pavilion concert are divided up and sent to various mental health charities. 
> 
> \- Willie _does_ become a therapist (his office is in downtown Ascela, about fifteen minutes from the palace and he has his own private therapy practice with one other employee—an assistant named Abby) but he’s also fallen in love with research and uses his PhD to contribute to the field by working with colleagues at Berkeley (aka his old professors) on the research side of things. 
> 
> \- It didn't get mentioned in this fic but they ended up getting a pair of rats the summer of Alex's coronation. It's not the right time for a dog, especially because Louisa still has a rambunctious 2 year old puppy after losing Mia and Sophia within two years of each other a few years back, but... rats they can do. And more importantly Alex can handle them alone while Willie finishes his internship. 
> 
> Finally, I'm at [sunsetcurbed](https://sunsetcurbed.tumblr.com) on tumblr.


End file.
